PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » dishes

I did the dishes! Where’s my cookie?

Kerry — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:47:12 +0000

Explains our submitter in Ohio: ”Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.

You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…

The needy little dishwasher

Kerry — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 12:00:22 +0000

Dear poor, neglected automatic dishwasher: have you considered therapy? (Adds Ben in London: “God help us if somebody pisses off the kettle.”)

Meanwhile, in Texas…

related: When dishwashers speak

Wrath of the Ancients™ 2.0

Kerry — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 22:58:01 +0000

At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.

(click the image below to enlarge)

P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.

There’s no “I” in Sarcasm

Kerry — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:44:32 +0000

“Every week there seems to be a new note in the office kitchen repeating the exact same thing,” says chenry in Canada. “Lately they’ve been threatening to throw away the dishes if you leave them in the sink, but they never do that either.”

(click the image below to enlarge)

“Now someone’s added his own sign taking the piss out of the rest.”

Oh Grandpa, you tell the funniest bedtime stories!

Kerry — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 03:18:55 +0000

Hannah spotted this gem above the sink of dirty dishes in her San Francisco office.

I can feel your teeth clenching from here :)

Kerry — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 12:22:43 +0000

Be afraid, roomies. Be very afraid.

related: I don’t complain.

Memo to all employees (including specifically you)

Kerry — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:26:43 +0000

Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”

(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)

Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)

Your mother doesn’t work here…so security will have to escort her out.

Kerry — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 04:07:19 +0000

I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!

P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.

The most unpleasant of pleasantries

Kerry — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 02:25:16 +0000

So, Jen in Ontario, Canada just moved into a new shared living arrangement…with a 50-something lady. “I thought having an older person as a roommate would more peaceful,” she explains. “Turns out I was wrong.” Communication skills, it seems, aren’t one of those things that necessarily improve with age.

Within a week of moving in, Jen says, there were “helpful instructions” taped up all around the house. After that, the notes just kept coming, accusing Jen of everything from filling the dishwasher with soy sauce to sabotaging the tea kettle — always book-ended by a “Pls” and “Thank you,” of course. Because that’s how mature adults act.

related: The Post-it Wars

Passive-Aggressive Kitchen-Sink Poetry

Kerry — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 05:01:35 +0000

So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?

Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?

Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?

Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?

Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.

related: Scatological Poetry Slam

Actually, I am offended…above all, by your atrocious spelling.

Kerry — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:20:18 +0000

“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.

Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)

Kanye interrupts this note

Kerry — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:25:42 +0000

I was really hoping this would die before I’d get around to posting about it, but more than four months later, it appears the “Imma Let You Finish” meme is still chuggin’ along. I’m gonna chalk it up to end-of-the-year insta-nostalgia and, well, let it finish.

P.S. Speaking of Tillamook cheddar, Doug Fir in Portland makes the best mac & cheese OF ALL TIME!

And a very happy Earth Day to you!

Kerry — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:04:55 +0000

Alec in Houston found this little work of art on his desk, he says, “after I went out for lunch and didn’t do the dishes like they had asked.” With gritted teeth, he goes on: “They have ‘too much work’ and I have ‘none’ so I might as well wash them!”

Girls gone wild…with colored markers

Kerry — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:09:08 +0000

You decide: which masterpiece is most worthy of the Lisa Frank award for the most artistic expression of repressed rage?

Is it Exhibit a, from a hip-hop retail store in California?

Exhibit b, from an American college dorm?

Or Exhibit c, from a shared apartment in Guelph, Ontario?

Oh, and ladies? As you busy yourself with your construction paper and colored markers, never forget the most disgusting thing!

related: What, no bubble letters?