Entries Tagged as 'dishes'
Explains our submitter in Ohio: “Before leaving for winter break, the chronic dish-neglecting roommate of the house tried her hand at washing dishes for the first time.” Not content to pat herself on the back, she then posted this rationalization for why she shouldn’t have to feel guilty about the dirty dishes she’s left in the sink all year.
You can pretty much guess how that went over with the roomies…
related: Because of you, the shower I was looking forward to all day was RUINED!
Tags: Did you know? · dishes · Ohio · roommates · Your mother doesn't...
September 12th, 2011 · 43 Comments
Dear poor, neglected automatic dishwasher: have you considered therapy? (Adds Ben in London: “God help us if somebody pisses off the kettle.”)
Meanwhile, in Texas…
related: When dishwashers speak
Tags: anthropomorphism · clip art catastrophe · dishwasher · double-entendre alert · kitchen
At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.
(click the image below to enlarge)
P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.
related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters
Tags: Austin · dishes · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · office · smartass
“Every week there seems to be a new note in the office kitchen repeating the exact same thing,” says chenry in Canada. “Lately they’ve been threatening to throw away the dishes if you leave them in the sink, but they never do that either.”
(click the image below to enlarge)
“Now someone’s added his own sign taking the piss out of the rest.”
related: You want clip art? Oh, we’ll give you clip art.
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · dishes · in the name of teamwork · kitchen · sarcasm
Hannah spotted this gem above the sink of dirty dishes in her San Francisco office.
related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!
Tags: dishes · guilt trip · kids today · most popular notes of 2011 · San Francisco · TL;DR
Be afraid, roomies. Be very afraid.
related: I don’t complain.
Tags: "helpful" advice · dishes · martyr complex · odor · roommates · signed with love · smiley
Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”
(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)
Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)
related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · Comic Sans Alert · dishes · fired · food · hygiene · memo · message to all intended for one · odor · office cop · Ontario · Tulsa
I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!
P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.
related: Yo momma doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)
Tags: bold-underlined-caps · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · Denver · dishwasher · irregular capitalization · kitchen · Your mother doesn't...
So, Jen in Ontario, Canada just moved into a new shared living arrangement…with a 50-something lady. “I thought having an older person as a roommate would more peaceful,” she explains. “Turns out I was wrong.” Communication skills, it seems, aren’t one of those things that necessarily improve with age.
Within a week of moving in, Jen says, there were “helpful instructions” taped up all around the house. After that, the notes just kept coming, accusing Jen of everything from filling the dishwasher with soy sauce to sabotaging the tea kettle — always book-ended by a “Pls” and “Thank you,” of course. Because that’s how mature adults act.
related: The Post-it Wars
Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · kitchen · laundry · old folks · Ontario · p.s. · roommates
So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?
Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?
Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?
Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?
Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.
related: Scatological Poetry Slam
Tags: Atlanta · clip art catastrophe · college life · D.C. · dishes · office · pure poetry · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · TL;DR · Winston-Salem