Vaguely fishy notes like this one from Toronto are pretty common around office kitchens…

…but I’ve never seen a note that gets right to the point quite like this one from Amber in San Francisco.

related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

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Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

related: To each his own microwave
extra [...]

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The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.
“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I [...]

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As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama break room shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

related: bizarre pardoning accident

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In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. and a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads [...]

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This oh-so-subtle note was posted by Mary’s former boss, “a pathetic professor in a backwater institution” where 90% of the graduate students happened to be Korean, Japanese, or Chinese.
“Nevermind that he doused himself with great lashings of Brut in an attempt to jazz up the bald-up-top-ponytail-in-back look he had going on,” Mary says. “There were [...]

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Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?
From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking [...]

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this delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban orange county, california. “there is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains amy, a grad student. “up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘please close door.’ i have NO idea about the microwave [...]

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Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.
It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

…which prompted [...]

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after receiving numerous “helpful tips” from her roommate at the university of minnesota…

lydia decided to add a few post-its of her own.

(the large signs on the oven and the microwave were already there.)

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I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last  ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.
Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”

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It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

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