PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » microwave

Please clear your unused microwave time: now with more questionable statistics!

Kerry — Tue, 10 May 2011 03:04:45 +0000

Note: the following message has explicitly NOT been approved by Jack Donaghy. (Do not be fooled by that GE logo at the bottom of the page.)

Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)

This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.

Three never-ending office arguments

Kerry — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 22:44:58 +0000

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From San Francisco:

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

related: Completely valid rebuttals

If you thought your microwave was dirty…

Kerry — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:05:17 +0000

…then you obviously haven’t been introduced to the Houston, Texas model apparently gunning for the title of “the Dane Cook of household appliances.”

(For that, you can be thankful.)

related: Microwave on the run!

Oh, and NOW you tell me

Kerry — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:57:43 +0000

As spotted by Brad at a ski lodge in Palmerton, Pennsylvania…

By Hickepedia at an office in Richmond, Virginia…

By Kyle at his apartment building in Los Angeles…

And by Leah at her office in Chicago…

related: Is this a thing now?

Kitchen vigilantes

Kerry — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 23:58:23 +0000

Vaguely fishy notes like this one from Toronto are pretty common around office kitchens…

…but I’ve never seen a note that gets right to the point quite like this one from Amber in San Francisco.

Sincerely, disappointed

Kerry — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 04:04:01 +0000

Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

related: To each his own microwave

extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”

A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands

Kerry — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 00:56:22 +0000

The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I have to remind myself that I’m not in a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.”

Especially Deborah

Kerry — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:13:19 +0000

As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama break room shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

related: bizarre pardoning accident

Crazy is right

Kerry — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 03:15:57 +0000

In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.

UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!

UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!

UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!

UPDATE 4: It continues!

related: Who are you calling OCD?

Eau dear

kerry — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:45:53 +0000

This oh-so-subtle note was posted by Mary’s former boss, “a pathetic professor in a backwater institution” where 90% of the graduate students happened to be Korean, Japanese, or Chinese.

“Nevermind that he doused himself with great lashings of Brut in an attempt to jazz up the bald-up-top-ponytail-in-back look he had going on,” Mary says. “There were a lot of things I could have said to him on a post-it, but I decided to be the big kid and quit.” Luckily for us, she swiped this note off the breakroom microwave first.

Interestingly, it seems fish-hating office workers elsewhere also share an affinity for clip art.

related: No smelly foods

Office anthropomorphism

kerry — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 19:30:14 +0000

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

You gotta keep ’em separated

Kerry — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 12:45:07 +0000

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

To each his own microwave

Kerry — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:04:25 +0000

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

related: no smelly foods

The Post-it Wars

Kerry — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 12:30:00 +0000

After receiving numerous “helpful tips” from her roommate at the University of Minnesota…

…Lydia decided to add a few “tips” of her own. (The large signs on the oven and the microwave were already there.)