Entries Tagged as 'kitchen'

Recipe for roommate discord

November 17th, 2007 · 200 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Detroit tells us his roommate is a repeat offender when it comes to passive-aggressive note-leaving. This time around, he went with a note AND a text message. (“And it’s not even my fault!” our submitter protests.)

The oven was left on 450 again. Don't use the oven if you can't turn it OFF

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!

Tags: and that's an order · blitzkrieg approach · Detroit · kitchen · oven · roommates · text message · that's a fire hazard · turning on/off

Is that a calligraphy pen?

November 15th, 2007 · 233 Comments

“Keep in mind that this is coming from the messiest and loudest of six roommates,” says our anonymous submitter, a college student in New York. Isn’t it always?

As stated in the beginning

Tags: college life · dishes · excessive underlining · New York · paper product fairy · roommates

You gotta keep ’em separated

October 18th, 2007 · 184 Comments

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

OK, WE GIVE UP!

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

No, that’s not the British spelling

September 24th, 2007 · 128 Comments

“You know when you drink so much that you can’t remember what you did the night before?” asks our anonymous Scottish pizza bandit. “Sometimes we’re lucky enough to encounter certain things which trigger memories of our alcohol-fueled rampage. I was lucky enough to come across this the next day.”

Dear pizza theif [sic], I hope you enjoyed those two slices of Dominoes pizza. I did. It was so nice in fact I kept it in the fridge to enjoy. So it was to my surprise to find those slices missing the next day. My mum bought me that pizza — but I guess you must have been in dire hunger to eat my food. In that case, that's alright. At least you cleaned the side plate afterwards. But I will still kill you. Craig.

Tags: fridge · guilt trip · not-so-veiled threats · pizza · roommates · sarcasm · Scotland · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Two points for chutzpah, but zero for originality

September 11th, 2007 · 100 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in Corte Madera, California: “We have a lot of passive-aggressive notes up around the office, and most of them are addressed to the entire office staff in common areas. You can imagine my surprise when after eating lunch and going out for a smoke break with some coworkers today, we came back to find a bit of passive-aggressiveness on our lunch table — not 15 minutes after we had left it. Grrrrr.”

Clean up after your eat. (Wipe the food off the table and put the chairs back where they belong.) Just like the kitchen, Your mother doesn't work here either.

More choice guilt-trips from this office — including yet another “your mother doesn’t work here” note, follow.

This is a trashcan. It is not a recycling bin. If you turn around, you will find the recycling bin sandwiched between the fridge and the coffee pot. There is really no excuse not to recycle with it's so accessible. You're keeping waste out of landfills and taking a small step to help save the environment.

Note to self: If it's too hard for you to close these doors, maybe you shouldn't be opening them. (Ooo, sassy!)

Wash your dishes & silverware please, your mom doesn't work here

related: Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guilt trip · kitchen · Moms & Dads · office · oh snap · opening/closing · recycling · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...

P.S. Bacon is life

September 1st, 2007 · 200 Comments

The Coast newspaper in Halifax recently invited its readers to share their “passive-aggressive roommate tales.” (Gee, what a novel idea!)

My favorite part:

roommate2.jpg

Excerpts from a 34-point note sent to a former roommate:

2. Your rent was always late and it was not paid in full.

4. You used the dishes and baking ware that we provided to you and often did not clean them, left them to ruin, or left them for someone else to clean because you were too busy rushing out the door to go party when you had all day off. If you have all day off, do something more than try to find someone, anyone to hang out with that night that just so happens to have a car and is willing to pick your lazy ass up.

22. Your friends have no right to use and mess up our bathroom. You have your own, it’s part of your room. Also, if they are going to be putting fruit remains in our garbage can, have them removed before they rot. While we’re on the subject…

23. Fruit flies. Need I say more?

25. We were quite upset that you didn’t buy us anything for Christmas worth more than $3. It’s not the money really, but $1.50 each, that’s just insulting. We noticed that week you borrowed money from your current fling to go out and party. I hope you did buy a self-help book at Chapters like you said you were planning.

29. When people have to work very early in the morning, like at 5am, it’s not very nice to have your loud-mouthed boyfriend chatting with you all night, take it somewhere else. Like his mom’s house where he still lives…

30. The clogged toilet thing, you got off easy on that one. Plumbing and property damage is a lot more important than rushing out the door to hang out with your friends. Prioritize.

33. The comment you made about being the type of person who can’t live with someone is something you should take serious consideration of. How are you going to continue living your faux Sex and the City lifestyle if your goal in life is to find a man you can live with, and if you are not the type of person that can actually live with someone?” B.M.

Full story here; another choice excerpt after the jump.

[Read more →]

Tags: bullet points · Canada · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · food · Halifax · money · revenge · roommates

Upon further reflection, screw you

September 1st, 2007 · 53 Comments

While Jessica was a college student in Boston, she lived in a five-person apartment with one friend and three strangers. Jess says apartment issues were rarely (if ever talked about directly (there was but one “meeting), but were instead handled through a series of “love notes” from Anne, like this one.

passiveaggressivenotes.com: memorandum to roommates

Most of the points in this letter, Jessica adds, were directed at one person in particular — her friend, with whom Anne shared a room. And when Anne was told to “remind people to clean” at the meeting, Jess says she and her roommates were simply referring to when and if it began to bother her. Oh, and the building’s rodent problem was a pre-existing condition.

Tags: Boston · cleaning · dishes · garbage · guests · not-so-veiled threats · vermin · water · Your mother doesn't...

Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?

August 20th, 2007 · 100 Comments

“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)

The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.

what will it take?? (probably not an office-wide e-mail)

Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?

Tags: comma diarrhea · confusion??? · D.C. · dishes · dishwasher · e-mail · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · office · questionable logic · royal we · spelling and grammar police

Kitchen wish list

August 13th, 2007 · 86 Comments

An anonymous submitter brings us this note from the kitchen of Vermont Theater’s group housing, “where all the techies live.” Unlike other notes we’ve seen attributed to management/the apartment/the cat, etc., our submitter says the bit at the bottom was, in fact, written by the house’s cleaning lady. “Granted,” he says, “the kitchen was messy, but this is from the CLEANING LADY!”

(I’m wondering though, if “messy” might be a bit of an understatement…)

That peaple [sic] do there [sic] own dishes when finished with them! Thanks Housekeeping

Tags: cleaning · dishes · kitchen · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really) · Vermont

Containing as much or as many as is possible or normal

August 8th, 2007 · 50 Comments

In all fairness, says Brandi in Austin, “This note was written after our dishes became so caked with fungus that we had to buy new stuff. The smell was also REALLY bad.”

NOTICE!!! *Please Commence Immediately* To anyone who Lives, Naps, Shits, Farts, Eats, Sleeps, Fucks, Rests, OR DOES ANYTHING in this house: This is including but not limited to: Brandi, Summer, Keiran, Jason, Peter, Jonathan, Mary, ANYONE!! (Guests are not excluded) PLEASE DO NOT leave dirty dishes, old beer bottles, half eaten shit, or any trash strewn about the apt. If the trash can is full, PLEASE empty it and replace the bag. (If there any other questions about the definition of full, see m-w.com) Try to clean off any plates and dirty cups for placement in the dishwasher. The WHOLE COLLECTIVE would appreciate it greatly. Thank you, owners/operators

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: Austin · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · internet citation · lOWERCASE l · obnoxious definition · roommates · shit · Texas