Entries Tagged as 'kitchen'

No Soup for You!

February 11th, 2013 · 79 Comments

Writes Jonathan in the UK: “Nick, bless him, diligently cleans the office microwave when he’s at work every Sunday morning. By Monday, the smell of bleach has usually gone. However, I think the latest soup splattering may have pushed him over the edge.”

I spent a fair few minutes making this oven clean on Sunday and in 24 hours it is again covered in soup -  Firstly drinking soup is the act of a fool as its salt content will contribute to high blood pressure but leaving an oven in this state is plain unpleasant -  It means that those of us that that (sic) have basic hygiene standards now can not use the microwave oven unless we clean it after you use it.  Please if you had soup on Monday can you consider your actions and what you have left for others.  NP

related: If you thought your microwave was dirty…

Tags: food · microwave · office · U.K.

Duh-runk

January 20th, 2013 · 26 Comments

Our submitter, Steffany, says she found this abandoned burrito in the microwave and set it on the table. When she woke up the next morning, she says, “my roommate had left me this a bitchy note…so I left one for her.”

My food is NOT your food. don't eat it. duh.  [response] You left this in the microwave when you were drunk, idiot.

related: Haterade on the rocks, with a twist

Tags: college life · drizzunk · food · Kansas · microwave · most popular notes of 2013 · Oops? · roommates

The Craft Services DTs

January 16th, 2013 · 47 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in L.A. says this opus was posted at the kitchen of a production company working on a network television show…where at least two people seem to have too much time on their hands.

To the hilarious slob who left the mess in the kitchen, good one! Ha ha! LOL! However, I ask you, are you bored with your job? Do you not have enough to do? You must have some spare time as you seemed to have gone out of your way to make such a mess. Or, maybe you have too much to do, so much that you don't have the time to clean up. From either scenario, I can deduce that you likely have a time management problem. You need to dig deep down inside and determine the root of the problem.

related: Dear Desperate for Salad

Tags: cleaning · kitchen · Los Angeles · TL;DR

Sink squatters

December 10th, 2012 · 23 Comments

Spotted, appropriately enough, in New York’s Theater District (though I guess Hell’s Kitchen would have made sense, too):

I've been here since Monday. How about you? I got here last week. I'm staying. Me too. I'm never leaving. Let's make salmonella.

related: Toy Story meets The Office

Tags: anthropomorphism · dishes · New York · office

Fish cookies, anyone?

December 6th, 2012 · 60 Comments

It was a Friday and Meredith in Lexington, Massachusetts was pretty much running on auto-pilot when she made the mistake of microwaving leftover tacos for lunch — FISH tacos. Much to her horror, Meredith says, “The smell immediately permeated the office and got everyone talking and wondering who had committed one of the worst office kitchen taboos — second only to burned microwave popcorn.”

In an attempt to make things right, Meredith says, “I then asked some software engineers, who like to bake frozen cookie dough in the toaster oven, if they would help me cover up my secret shame by baking some sweet-smelling cookies. This is the note they left for all to see.”

Trust us, this smells better than Meredith's burnt fish lunch. (She sits that way ?). She is very sorry and will never do it again!

related: To spray or not to spray?; Eau dear

Tags: etiquette · fish · Massachusetts · microwave · odor · office · oh no you didn't · public shaming

An unsolicited endorsement

November 23rd, 2012 · 28 Comments

Clarissa in Portland, Oregon dutifully passed along this e-mail from her boss. I normally don’t like to encourage this sort of thing, but, well, ’tis the season for shameless self-promotion. So, uh, take from Mel?

“Seriously, I have their calendar and I love it.” —Melanie, Administrative Projects Coordinator

I dislike sending these emails. But, <insert judgmental tone of voice here> apparently we need a reminder that this is a wash-your-own-dishes office. Thank you to whoever washed that nasty sink full of dishes this morning. I can assure you that I did not do it it, because I will not be washing your dishes for you. I don't hand wash dishes for other people, and if you want to know why, I will give you my parents' phone number and you can have a nice, long chat about it. But suffice it to say, in the meantime, wash your own dishes. p.s. i would be delighted if this ended up here: www.passiveaggressivenotes.com. Seriously, I have their calendar, and I love it.

related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

extra credit: The PAN 2013 Page-a-Day Calendar. Seriously.

Tags: all-staff e-mail · dishes · meta

“A very great part of the mischiefs that vex the world arises from words.” —Edmund Burke

November 16th, 2012 · 32 Comments

“Some of the people in my office are pathologically incapable of washing their own dishes,” writes Adam in Los Angeles. “I hope this doesn’t lead us to war.”

Yeah, yeah, I know, nobody washes their dishes. Really, the thing I appreciated about this submission was that it led me down the rabbit hole of QuoteInvestigator.com.

The real takeaway here? Next time you decide to quote the likes of Edmund Burke or Eleanor Roosevelt, remember these words of wisdom:

related: From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

Tags: dishes · office

Have your people call my people.

November 6th, 2012 · 34 Comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “Of the 12 people living the house, only three do any sort of cleaning or washing up. This was the result of several months of accumulated angst.”

Dear household, I am suck of you discusting [sic] c*nts not washing up after your selfs [sic] you have one day to learn before you find your dirty dishes in bed with you. This includes pots, pans, cups, and tea pots. If you have a problem with that I am happy to discuss. Sincerely, Haarlem  Haarlem, I like the way you think, let's discuss this further. Get your people to call my people and we'll do lunch. Love, Ben

related: I did the dishes. Where’s my cookie?

Tags: Canada · cleaning · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · roommates · runaway run-on sentences · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Everything but the actual kitchen sink

October 22nd, 2012 · 23 Comments

Writes Jocelyn in London: “Since moving into halls for the first year of university, our hygiene skills have gone downhill, to say the least. Finally, one of our roommates cracked and cleaned up the rotting mess…or so we thought.” Instead, he just found a new “dumping ground.”

I needed to wash a mug so I made room in the sink. Please stop using the sink & tops as a dumping ground! Sincerly [sic] Cameron xx

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: college life · dishes · London · roommates

Go home, boyfriend. You’re drunk.

October 11th, 2012 · 41 Comments

Bryce and his girlfriend Lindsay are an adorable couple. Need proof? One cozy night in, Bryce had a lil’ bit too much too drink. Unfortunately, the bathroom was occupied at the time, so he booted (adorably) in the sink…which happened to be full of unwashed dishes. The next morning, Lindsay found her favorite coffee mug filled to the brim with not-coffee. The result was Instagrammed.

Dear Bryce, Please accept this hand-painted, ceramic panda bear mug. Because you puked in it and now I never want to drink out of it again.  xoxo Lindsay

related: Going up?

extra credit: Mixed Message Coffee Mug

Tags: dishes · drizzunk · vomit · xoxo