Entries Tagged as 'kitchen'
Our anonymous submitter in Tel Aviv spotted this note outside the kitchenette of a client’s office. In case your Hebrew is a little rusty, she also provided an English translation:
In this kitchen, please feel free to] pour drinks, cut up food, warm things through, stir and mix food, chop food up into ridiculously small pieces, taste whatever you like and eat until you are well satisfied and utterly sated. BUT [the Hebrew slang originating from the Arabic equivalent of "for fuck's sake,"] do it quietly!
Adds our submitter: “Presumably, noise is a problem — I was just tickled by how much I was permitted to do, as long as I kept my mouth shut.”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Middle East, the U.S. Armed forces aren’t quite so “anything goes.” Except, apparently, when it comes to shitting in the shower.
related: Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?
Tags: Hebrew · kitchen · military · noise · office · shit · The Middle East
Quelle horreur! “A good week after using my roommate’s microplane to grate parmesan, this note showed up on the fridge whiteboard,” writes Tori in (where else?) San Francisco. “Apparently microplanes are for ZESTING ONLY!”
(unless, of course, it’s a microplane zester/grater.)
related: notes white people leave
Tags: "helpful" advice · kitchen · roommates · San Francisco · whiteboard
Victoria in Foster city, California, says her brother taped this note to one of the kitchen cabinets in their mother’s house after her boyfriend took his own frozen chicken out of little brother’s grasp the night before. (Just to clarify that mess of pronouns: it was Victoria’s boyfriend’s chicken. Not that it really matters.)
“He’s 17 and constantly PMS-ing and thinks he has reign of the house,” Victoria says of her brother. So, in response, Victoria did whatever any older sibling does when a parent tells you to suck it up and act your age. (Namely: exactly the opposite.)
related: no girls allowed
Tags: California · family · kitchen · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · siblings
You decide: which masterpiece is most worthy of the Lisa Frank award for the most artistic expression of repressed rage?
Is it Exhibit a, from a hip-hop retail store in California?
Exhibit b, from an American college dorm?
Or Exhibit c, from a shared apartment in Guelph, Ontario?
Oh, and ladies? As you busy yourself with your construction paper and colored markers, never forget the most disgusting thing!
related: What, no bubble letters?
Tags: art · college life · dishes · disturbingly detailed · heart · rainbow-colored · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't...
As Rick in Tennessee can attest, sharing a fridge with more than two unrelated roommates can get tricky — even in the rare event that everyone manages to keep their paws to themselves. The upside? “While there’s no space in the fridge for food, I’ll never have to worry about running out of condiments.”
Meanwhile, in Washington…
related: Crying over sour milk
Tags: D.C. · fridge · roommates · Tennessee
We’ve received several copies of this instructive flowchart, which the helpful illustrators of Graph jam have made available to coffee watchdogs the world over.
Seeing people print their passive-aggressive flowcharts off the Internet makes our resident nerd, Eric, sentimental for simpler times. He quietly reflects on time spent wandering the halls of Brown University’s CS department back in 2007. In those days, tech-minded individuals still made patronizing flowcharts the old-fashioned way, using OpenOffice on Linux.
Though such documents are most commonly spotted in offices populated by engineers and other technically inclined folk, even Kerry — who is not earning her Ph.d in Computer Science — can appreciate the clarity of a flowchart like this one:
related: When Ph.ds get frustrated
extra credit: “Flow chart: is it fucked up?” [boingboing]
Tags: coffee · flow chart · ice · kitchen · oh snap
Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”
And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.
related: To each his own microwave
extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”
Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · fiction · high on highlighter · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · office · spelling and grammar police
“These are the results of your typical no-one-washes-their-dishes-at-the-office situation,” says our submitter in Portland, Oregon.”There used to be a note above the sink that said “NOT YOUR MAMA,” but it was replaced with these gems, both of which sort of creep me out (and neither of which has ameliorated the dirty dish issue).”
Meanwhile, elsewhere in Oregon…
Tags: dishes · kinda creepy · office · office cop · Portland
Presenting — in honor of British Cheese Week — three approaches to cheese thievery:
1) Play dumb.
2) Get tough.
3) Oh, F it.
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: cheese · fridge · stealing
The tenth-floor kitchen at this office has no fewer than ten of these painstakingly laminated, clip-art-covered notes — and our anonymous submitter says this kitchen is only the tip of the iceberg.
“Nearly all of the notes in our office receive the same attention to detail,” our submitter says. “Every time I come to work I have to remind myself that I’m not in a cartoon fairy-tale land of fun.”
related: It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one
Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · clip art catastrophe · gloriously redundant · microwave · office · office fridge · popcorn