Entries Tagged as 'kitchen'

Especially Deborah

August 17th, 2008 · 215 Comments

As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama breakroom shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

Microwave PopCorn Users (Especially — Deborah) Do Not Burn PopCorn Do Not Leave PopCorn Unattended Stay Here While popcorn cooks

related: Bizarre pardoning accident

Tags: Alabama · bold-underlined-caps · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · irregular capitalization · microwave · Montgomery · most popular notes of 2008 · office · popcorn

Bleak House

July 31st, 2008 · 219 Comments

“A few years back I was living in a halfway house in Canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes Alex in Australia. “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (The coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)

STEAL MY COFFEE!! NO MORE. NO FRIDGE UNTIL I AM COMPENSATED $3.00 SUNDAY, 8-8-04 U KNOW WHO YOU ARE

The fridge incident went unresolved for many months, Alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. In fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”

Eventually (long afterAlex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.

related: Um, Rene Hall?

Tags: actions speak louder · Australia · Canberra · CAPS LOCK · fridge · money · questionable logic · roommates · stealing · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are

When dishwashers speak

July 2nd, 2008 · 147 Comments

I didn’t think i’d ever see a kitchen appliance more inappropriately anthropomorphized than this fridge, but I think this dishwasher note (from an anonymous submitter in England) dials the WTF-factor up to 11.

PLEASE FEED ME  I EAT DIRTY PLATES AND SHIT OUT CLEAN ONES   THEY ARE YUMMY  LOAD ME UP WITH DISHES, OR I CRY :(

related: The passive-aggressive note has not been destroyed; it has been solved

Tags: anthropomorphism · bold-underlined-caps · CAPS LOCK · dishes · dishwasher · mixed metaphors · sad face · shit · U.K. · WTF?

Get the hell out (and good luck next year!)

June 12th, 2008 · 116 Comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in Peterborough, Ontario: “This past year, my roommates and I had a stranger rent the extra room in our house, and he turned out to be a socially oblivious slob we spent the entire year picking up after.” As frustrating as the situation was, his roommate Andrew can’t seem to fully distance himself from his inborn Canadian niceness, even in this final send-off.

Steve: Seriously clean the upper back fridge

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

Tags: Canada · cleaning · fridge · Ontario · roommates · thanks (but not really)

Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

June 10th, 2008 · 150 Comments

“My friend Katelyn’s roommate left her this note before she went away for Memorial Day weekend last year,” says Monica in Boston. “I love how it starts off so BFF-like…then takes a sharp left into passive-aggressive territory.”

oh sweetie, i love it when you talk dirty!

Adds Monica: “While Katelyn normally likes to avoid confrontation, I think this note pushed her over the edge. She didn’t empty the trash or rinse a dish the entire weekend, and they spent the next three months before their lease ended in a passive-aggressive standoff (purposely being loud when they knew the other had to study…’accidentally’ breaking the other’s belongings, etc.) Good times!”

related: (They match the plastic slipcover on the futon)

Tags: cleaning · college life · dishes · heart · mean girls · p.s. · roommates · smiley

Maybe it’s time for Sally Struthers to get involved

May 14th, 2008 · 140 Comments

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Taking food is a penal code violation and we have reported these thefts to the cops.

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Berkeley · California · college life · food · fridge · kitchen · preggers · stealing · the homeless · warning

Everything you hate about office culture, in one cringe-inducing note.

March 21st, 2008 · 121 Comments

This note represents pretty much everything about office culture that makes me cringe. Appropriately enough, I can’t even bring myself to call out the specifics — it’s just too overwhelming. (But the sign will always be there…every day, taunting me.)

PLEASE MAKE SURE I AM CLOSED I HAVE ALOT OF FOODS IN MY BELLY I DON'T WANT TO GET WARM!

Tags: alot · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · fridge · inane cartoon · kinda creepy · mixed metaphors · most popular notes of 2008 · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · U.K.

Not to name names, but…

March 18th, 2008 · 84 Comments

World-renowned troublemaker Troy McClure forwards this e-mail from his department’s secretary in Sydney, Australia.

Would anyone know who has taken/borrowed most of the coffee mugs and tea cups from the kitchen on our level?

No big deal, you say? Take a second look at the addressee list. (Yes, JONATHAN, I’m talking to you.)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · dishes · message to all intended for one · overzealous secretary · Sydney

Bun — er, pizza — in the oven

February 29th, 2008 · 125 Comments

Zakir in Montreal came home one night to find his roommate, Tristan ferociously scribbling this note for his other roommate, Vincent.  Apparently, Tristan was baking cookies on Saturday night (aww) and when he turned on the stove, the entire apartment filled with smoke from the charred cardboard from Vince’s frozen pizza.

Says Zakir: “Vincent’s reply to the note was gold. He yelled: ‘Well, maybe next time you should CHECK the oven before you turn it on….WHAT IF THERE WAS A BABY IN THERE?!’ and then slammed his door behind him.”

Vince. Let this be a message to your other pizza cardboards. Take your cardboards out of the oven! -Tristan

Adds Zakir: “I’m not sure if those are hearts or flames all over the note, but I do know Tristan‘s face was scrunched with anger as he wrote it.”

Meanwhile, in Clemson, S.C…there is a baby in that oven.

This [redacted]'s pizza. [Redacted] is pregnant. If you know what is best for you, you will not eat a pregnant women's [sic] food. :) Love, ME!!

related: must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: double-entendre alert · heart · Montreal · oven · pizza · preggers · smiley · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police

Crazy is right

February 19th, 2008 · 217 Comments

In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished.  Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy.  -Thanks!

UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!

UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!

The copycat; busted!

UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!

meta like whoa

UPDATE 4: It continues!

Yet another copycat!

related: Who are you calling OCD?

Tags: a little uptight · Baltimore · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · office