Entries Tagged as 'landlord'

More crooked chiropractors

July 23rd, 2009 · 109 Comments

My favorite part of this landlord-chiropractor dispute in Brooklyn is the (professionally printed?) “tenant snuck out over the weekend” sign. How long has this landlord had that one in reserve?

Meanwhile, Dan in Dallas received this direct-mail don’t from a doc he’s dubbed “Dmitri the chiropractor.”

related: spinal manipulation

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Tags: brooklyn · dallas/fort worth · landlord · message to all intended for one

repestect yourself

June 29th, 2009 · 161 Comments

Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building.

It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?
related: your are welcome to our home

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · bizarro spacing · brooklyn · elevator · landlord · now that's management · spelling and grammar police · your/you're

xoxo, your landlord

May 20th, 2009 · 210 Comments

Writes our submitter in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia: “A local candidate for county commissioner claimed that he was going to run the county like he runs his businesses.” (You know: straight talk, no bullshit, that kind of thing.)
So, if you were a Jefferson County voter, what would be your take on the guy based on [...]

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Tags: fuck fuckity fuck fuck · garbage · landlord · west virginia

filthy, and very nasty

April 21st, 2009 · 169 Comments

Writes Tim in Berkeley: “Although this note is over 17 years old, I think it’s still worth submitting, at the very least as an example of notes from a bygone era. I received this note from the apartment manager when I was a senior at Rice University, living in an off-campus apartment. Admittedly, I wasn’t [...]

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Tags: cleaning · houston · landlord · texas · that shit is disgusting · university

just trying to “keep austin weird”

April 8th, 2008 · 135 Comments

sure, those luxury condos going up all over downtown austin might look pretty, but if you’re like, “dude, enough of this corporate bullshit!” our anonymous austin submitter says her building offers plenty of exciting local color you won’t find in those glass-and-steel towers. perks include: 1) the building’s property manager, a character known for his [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · all clogged up · austin · landlord · toilet

Two birds with one snowman

February 20th, 2008 · 57 Comments

While other passive-aggressives plow through post-its with wild abandon, the caretaker of Kale’s building in Winnipeg has a more economical style.

P.S. Vetta, I think the only thing that would make me love this note more is if your postscript began with “I wish…”
related: And what’s your christmas wish?

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Tags: garbage · holiday spirit · landlord · p.s. · winnipeg

Be informed, Homeland Security will be

November 6th, 2007 · 199 Comments

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

related: Your to lazy
extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · jersey · landlord · loitering · newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism

free markets, free people, free papers

October 19th, 2007 · 217 Comments

another doozy of an apartment manager note from oakland, california. our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one.

related: love, apt. 3 

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · california · excessive underlining · guilt trip · landlord · neighbors · newspaper · oakland · obnoxious definition · stealing

Your to lazy

October 15th, 2007 · 178 Comments

Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway [...]

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Tags: TLDR · cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlord · missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · vandalism · your/you're

Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)

August 14th, 2007 · 204 Comments

Mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in Long Island City, Queens last spring.

Anthony left a note on the door…

Saving his pennies for someday…

You oughta know by now

Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

And it seems such a waste of time

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind [...]

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Tags: landlord · money · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · moving/not moving · queens · questionable logic · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police