PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » landlords and property managers

If a tree falls in my kitchen but I don’t know where the broom is located…

Kerry — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:02:35 +0000

Savanna in Michigan says her landlord left this note on the kitchen floor “next to a tiny pile of tiny scraps of trash on the floor from dinner I had made.” Her excuse? “I don’t think we even have a broom, and if we do I have no idea where he keeps it.”

Um, Savanna, honey? No. Just…no.

Love, the Landlord

Kerry — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 02:38:59 +0000

Jon’s assessment after a night of partying: “Totally worth it.”

related: Late night beer parties!

Really, Garry, you had me at “plese.”

Kerry — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 04:56:11 +0000

I asked our submitter if she might be able to snap another photo of this memo/notice — one without the ghostly reflection of the man in the wifebeater — but alas, she says, it has since been taken down and replaced with a new memo offering a $500 reward for information leading to the culprit still vandalizing the elevator.

And yet, now that I’ve spent a little time with this image (in all of its beautiful absurdity), I’ve come to feel that it just wouldn’t feel quite complete without wifebeater man. Because this, my friends, is a work of art.

related: Thx Sandra

“Place cats in box”

Kerry — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 02:08:21 +0000

A few months ago, one of the stray cats around Kristen‘s townhouse in Redding, California had a litter of kittens, which have since grown into a small army of vicious feral felines. Kristen says she and her husband were just discussing getting one those live cat traps to deal with the problem when they came across the landlord’s DIY version.

“Apparently,” says Kristen, “he expects us to wrestle one of these very angry animals through the hole in this cardboard box, leave it there to play with some makeshift ‘cat toys,’ and then call the Humane Society in the morning. It’s so easy!”

I’m thinking this landlord must watched one too many Maru videos on YouTube…

Well, that’s one way to get your landlord’s attention. (If you’re lucky.)

Kerry — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 23:31:51 +0000

But you were just providing a valuable public service to potential tenants, right? Nothing passive-aggressive about that!

(Thanks to Nina in Raleigh, North Carolina and Greta in Alexandria, Virginia for their submissions!)

Pets? Sure. Foreigners? Hells no!

Kerry — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 14:08:26 +0000

I wouldn’t call these two PA notes passive-aggressive — just “pretty awful.”

First up, from St. John’s, Newfoundland:

Update: As commenter Reb points out: The “ad” from St. John’s is actually part of a Human Rights Commission campaign that’s trying to bring attention to discrimination like this; it’s not a real ad. Notice, for example, the lack of a phone number.

But this one, from Davisburg, Michigan is 100% real — and, as commenter James notes, not uncommon.

PLEASE DON’T PARK JAPANESE CARS IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE PARK THE DAMN THINGS IN JAPAN. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don’t get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

(Thanks to Shawn in Canada and Sarah in Michigan for submitting!)

Stop! Don’t chute!

Kerry — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 02:03:30 +0000

Two simple rules for using the garbage chute:

DO put your dog poo down the chute.

DON’T put your dog, Pooh, down the chute.

(Thanks to Jason in Ottawa and Catherine in D.C. for submitting!)

related: Garbage chute entitlement

At least in prison they get to play basketball in the courtyard

Kerry — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 02:23:26 +0000

Unsurprisingly, Emily in D.C. says it took less than 24 hours for one her neighbors to call bullshit on the building management’s “exciting news.”

Meanwhile, this building in Columbus, Ohio — which submitter Andrew says is “really nice and fancy-looking” — appears to take the mullet approach to policing its public spaces. (Business in the front, party in the back!)

Adds Andrew: “I 100% believe that this note is legit. I work exactly one block away from where the sign was posted, and a few days ago, I went outside only to find my self interrupting someone who was pissing on our dumpster. We have caught people in the act of shitting in our parking lot, and have also received many “anonymous fecal gifts.”

More crooked chiropractors

Kerry — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:21:28 +0000

My favorite part of this landlord-chiropractor dispute in Brooklyn is the (professionally printed?) “tenant snuck out over the weekend” sign. How long has this landlord had that one in reserve?

Meanwhile, Dan in Dallas received this direct-mail don’t from a doc he’s dubbed “Dmitri the chiropractor.”

related: spinal manipulation

Repestect yourself

Kerry — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 04:06:11 +0000

Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building. It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?

related: Your are welcome to our home

XOXO, Your landlord

Kerry — Thu, 21 May 2009 03:30:39 +0000

Writes our submitter in Harpers Ferry, West Virginia: “A local candidate for county commissioner claimed that he was going to run the county like he runs his businesses.” (You know: straight talk, no bullshit, that kind of thing.)

So, if you were a Jefferson County voter, what would be your take on the guy based on this sign, from the dumpster area at one of his rental properties? Destined for law-making, right?

Filthy, and very nasty

Kerry — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:00:38 +0000

Writes Tim in Berkeley: “Although this note is over 17 years old, I think it’s still worth submitting, at the very least as an example of notes from a bygone era. I received this note from the apartment manager when I was a senior at Rice University, living in an off-campus apartment. Admittedly, I wasn’t the cleanest tenant — but what 20-year-old college kid living alone in a studio apartment is?”

Adds Tim: “The really sad thing was that I had cleaned my apartment before this note — she should have seen the place before!”

Just trying to “Keep Austin Weird”

kerry — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:45:17 +0000

Sure, those luxury condos going up all over downtown Austin might look swanky, but our anonymous Austin submitter says her building offers plenty of exciting local color you won’t find in those glass-and-steel towers.

Perks include: 1) the building’s property manager, a character known for his impassioned screeds about everything from trash cans to expired vehicle registrations, and 2) a recurring sewage back-up that flows into the downstairs bathrooms of all the units. Rock ‘n’ roll, dude!

“The roto-rooter has said repeatedly that the backup is caused by roots growing into the sewer system,” our submitter says, but that explanation didn’t seem to satisfy her tireless PM. Now he’s offering tenants flexible lease arrangements, too!

related: A filthy hap pit

Two birds with one snowman

Kerry — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 04:24:44 +0000

While other passive-aggressives plow through post-its with wild abandon, the caretaker of Kale‘s building in Winnipeg has a more economical style.

P.S. Vetta, I think the only thing that would make me love this note more is if your postscript began with “I wish…”