Entries Tagged as 'breakup'

My arms are open for you — and your dirty laundry!

June 12th, 2012 · 13 Comments

Bill was walking down the street in Madison, Wisconin when he passed this note — complete with a rejoinder from the neighborhood joker — taped to the door of an apartment building. [frowny face emoticon!]

Jeffrey, Your things are by the back stairs.  Do not call or email me. [Jeffrey, My arms are open for you!  -Zac W.]

related: Please pick up your dirty laundry ASAP

Tags: breakup · way harsh

Merry Christmas! God told me to dump you.

October 10th, 2010 · 69 Comments

Sara says her sister in Waxhaw, North Carolina stumbled upon this personal inscription at a rummage sale of donated books.

Here’s a synopsis: Basically, our writer Robert starts out by giving himself a gold star for selecting such an “interesting” Christmas gift, then lets Leah down easy with the old “God told me I could do better” excuse, and finally peaces out with “So…see ya on christianmingle.com!”

Why Leah would want to part with such a precious gem, I have no idea.

Dear Leah, This is a very interesting Christmas present! I hope you like it! I have prayed about us since our first date.  I think we should be friends and I hope that is the same the Lord told you. Our search for our life's companion [sic] continues...Robert

Dear Leah, This is a very interesting Christmas present! I hope you like it! I have prayed about us since our first date.  I think we should be friends and I hope that is the same the Lord told you. Our search for our life's companion [sic] continues...Robert

related: The “Next to Marry” List

Tags: breakup · Christmas · God · holiday spirit · most popular notes of 2010

Feel free to share the happy news

October 21st, 2009 · 126 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I know Carl to have done exactly what she’s saying — cheat on her and lie to the girls saying he didn’t have a girlfriend. But still, a mass e-mail? Really? I’m not even on her friends list…so did she send it to his friends?” (The “k-hole,” by the way, reportedly refers to the apartment in which Carl lives.)

passiveaggressivenotes.com: bitter ex-girlfriend spills her guts about her cheating ex-boyfriend

related: When targeted advertising on Facebook goes terribly, horribly wrong

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook

When targeted advertising goes terribly, horribly wrong

June 7th, 2009 · 188 Comments

“A few days after changing my status to single,” writes Meg in Red Deer, Alberta, “Facebook proves to be the creep I always knew it was.”

How to get your ex back

(Jordon is the ex-boyfriend.)

Megan, Jordon thinks you're an IDIOT!

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile

Tags: breakup · Canada · Facebook

Perfect for each other

May 14th, 2009 · 204 Comments

I’m having a hard time deciding who in this group of geniuses most deserves a smack in the head first. To make it easier, I’m going to tell myself that Krystal is using some new kind of ironic dialect of homophone-swapping slang. And Jennalyn…well, her name is Jennalyn, and therefore I think it’s safe to assume she’s gotten the short end of the stick so far in life, so she gets a pass. But the other three?

you guys are great together

P.S. Notice the date! (tear)

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook profile

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · kids today · oh no you didn't

Snaps for schadenfreude!

March 16th, 2009 · 98 Comments

Facebook‘s new “I like this” feature doesn’t allow you to give “thumbs down” to your friends’ status updates or posted links — a boon to both the supportive, snap-cup-loving, kindergarten-teacher-types on your friends list and the die-hard passive-aggressives on your frenemies list!

Daniel fractured his arm in 3 places.

The even bigger “ouch”?

ouch.

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook-profile
extra credit: STFU, Marrieds

Tags: breakup · Facebook · frenemies

Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile

December 4th, 2008 · 104 Comments

The icing on top here, says our submitter, is the second comment — the one from Billy. Why? Because, well, that’s the guy Slade just broke up with.

Adds our submitter: “Awkward pretty much sums it up.”

Trust me. Being single is not bad at all. I am having more fun now, and you should too! (I disagree.)

related: please pick up your dirty laundry asap

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · most popular notes of 2008 · oh no you didn't

Some dating advice

May 16th, 2008 · 156 Comments

Here, a break-up note too long for a text message…though that might have a been more (fucking) appropriate.

If you're going to have naked pics of your ex on your phone, you might not want to make them your background pic + LEAVE YOUR PHONE OPEN WHILE YOU SHOWER! I am going for a walk + you better be the FUCK out of my apt by the time I get back. You're a fucking DOUCHE -- SHE'S FUCKING FAT! WTF?

related: you oughta know

Tags: "helpful" advice · breakup · Cleveland · ex drama · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · more aggressive than passive