Entries Tagged as 'love & marriage'
After a night of heavy drinking, Dani in Baltimore woke up with a killer hangover that turned positively murderous when she noticed that her bottle of Gatorade — which she’d been saving in anticipation of her post-hangover re-hydration needs — was missing from the fridge.
Assuming her husband must have taken it, Dani quickly dashed off this exclamation-point-heavy tirade (which, of course, is “passive” only in the sense that she chose to sit down at the keyboard instead of going straight for the butcher knife).
A few hours later, however, says Dani, “I remembered that I had actually drunkenly finished the bottle of Gatorade the night before, in an attempt to avoid said hangover. Oops!”
I’m hoping this little “oops” was a come-to-Jesus moment for Dani that showed her the error of note-writing ways, but if not…well, Dani’s husband: consider yourself warned. Because seriously, this is America, not another planet!
related: You are on Uncle Paul’s list!
Tags: drizzunk · exclamation-point happy!!!! · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · questionable logic · sig o
You can be sure our submitter wasn’t the only rubbernecking bystander on Facebook to feel pained by the awkwardness on display in this public wound-picking.
Dear “C”: A word of advice? Back away from your computer. Disconnect your WiFi. Channel your feelings into a Taylor Swift song or a six-pack or something. Unless, of course, you want to end up like this 20 years down the road…
related: Another example of why you should never publish your relationship status on Facebook
Tags: ex drama · Facebook
While scanning the Celebrations section of the local newspaper, Caroline in Raleigh, North Carolina was amused to see this unusual little “non-wedding announcement.”
And while I’m sure the editors (bless their hearts) were just pleased by this cheeky bit of “outside the box” feature-writing — with no implied judgement regarding a young woman’s lack of an MRS. degree — the “tsk-tsking” feel of the last line (unintentional or not) still made me feel like I was reading a Junior League newsletter from 1962.
related: The “Next to Marry” List
extra credit: Dad glad for three weddings [newsobserver.com]
Tags: newspaper · North Carolina · Raleigh · weddings and bridezillas
While helping her dad clean out her grandmother’s old apartment, Amanda says she found this incredible “love note” tucked in a bottom drawer. “All my dad could say was, ‘Well, romance wasn’t always your grandfather’s strong suit.’”
related: I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers.
Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · love & marriage · old folks · smoking
Although at first glance this card might seem pretty harmless, our submitter in Sacramento says she’s had enough experience with her new husband’s ultra-religious cousins to be able to read between the lines. (Just add “…before you’re both condemned to eternal damnation” to the end of the last sentence and you’ll get the idea.)
Adds our bristling bride: “I felt like telling her she could keep her $50 and her guilt trip, too, but decided I would have my revenge by having a long, happy, secular marriage instead.”
related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)
extra credit: the front of the card
Tags: family · Jesus · love & marriage · Sacramento · signed with love
Sara says her sister in Waxhaw, North Carolina stumbled upon this personal inscription at a rummage sale of donated books.
Here’s a synopsis: Basically, our writer Robert starts out by giving himself a gold star for selecting such an “interesting” Christmas gift, then lets Leah down easy with the old “God told me I could do better” excuse, and finally peaces out with “So…see ya on christianmingle.com!”
Why Leah would want to part with such a precious gem, I have no idea.
related: The “Next to Marry” List
Tags: breakup · Christmas · God · holiday spirit · most popular notes of 2010
Kelcy from London snapped this photo while this year’s Glastonbury Festival. “And yes, it was amazing,” she says. “Poor Tom!”
UPDATE: Prue from Manchester reports spotting a similar — slightly more aggressive — message at Glastonbury, too. “The crossed out bits were the ‘just ex’ girlfriend’s phone number and name (so one could send her an abusive message on Facebook),” Prue says. “Lovely.”
related: “Cheers, mate!” is not an acceptable tip in Texas
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · ex drama · text message · U.K.
Jo in Australia received this message from an ex-boyfriend via the dating site OKCupid. “This was where we met, so I guess he was trying to be poignant,” Jo says. “For obvious reasons,” — a.k.a. THEY WERE BROKEN UP — “I neglected to call him on his birthday. This clearly brought up more deep-seated self-esteem issues.” Nothin’ sexier than that!
“Replying to him is out of the question,” Jo adds — “I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of words.” Instead, she took the passive-aggressive approach: submitting it to this site.
related: So glad we’re not together!
Tags: Australia · birthday · ex drama · just not that into you · online dating · thanks (but not really)
It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.
Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”
Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive), in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.
On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.
related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!
Tags: Christmas · ex drama · family · going postal · Oops? · Texas · Toronto · weddings and bridezillas
The following message is a bit long, yes, but I had to post it because it reads uncannily like what I imagine as the epistolary novel of the future — complete with an unreliable narrator à la the Adrian Mole Diaries (or the sub-par American ripoff, Youth in Revolt).
It comes to us from Helen in Northern Ireland, who gives the following backstory: ”So, I met a friend of a friend on a night out and he offered to ‘walk me home.’ Seeing right through that clever ruse, I left, only to be bombarded with no fewer than four texts, a Facebook message and a voicemail all saying some inebriated yet romantic things.”
Months later, Helen ran into a mutual friend of this would-be Lothario, and casually said something along the lines of, ‘He tried to walk me home once, but I think he is a bit strange.’ Shortly thereafter, she received this gem of a Facebook message. “Luckily,” Helen says, “he removed and blocked me from Facebook immediately after sending it. Nice chap!”
related: And women like u wonder why u get judged and labeled shallow
Tags: Facebook · just an asshole · just not that into you · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · TL;DR · U.K.