Entries Tagged as 'love & marriage'

Not a match

May 27th, 2009 · 246 Comments

If you’re looking for a few “free tips” about online dating, our anonymous submitter could give you a few.

not a match

not a match

related: Really though — carnations?

Tags: just not that into you · most popular notes of 2009 · online dating

Perfect for each other

May 14th, 2009 · 204 Comments

I’m having a hard time deciding who in this group of geniuses most deserves a smack in the head first. To make it easier, I’m going to tell myself that Krystal is using some new kind of ironic dialect of homophone-swapping slang. And Jennalyn…well, her name is Jennalyn, and therefore I think it’s safe to assume she’s gotten the short end of the stick so far in life, so she gets a pass. But the other three?

you guys are great together

P.S. Notice the date! (tear)

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook profile

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · kids today · oh no you didn't

Snaps for schadenfreude!

March 16th, 2009 · 98 Comments

Facebook‘s new “I like this” feature doesn’t allow you to give “thumbs down” to your friends’ status updates or posted links — a boon to both the supportive, snap-cup-loving, kindergarten-teacher-types on your friends list and the die-hard passive-aggressives on your frenemies list!

Daniel fractured his arm in 3 places.

The even bigger “ouch”?

ouch.

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook-profile
extra credit: STFU, Marrieds

Tags: breakup · Facebook · frenemies

Really though — carnations?

March 9th, 2009 · 143 Comments

So, Kevin in san francisco says his friend’s roommate went on three “hang out at a bar” dates with this guy from France. After the third date — in admirably straightforward fashion — he told Frenchie it wasn’t wasn’t working out and he didn’t want to see him anymore. (You know, the old “it’s not me, it’s you” routine.)

Unfortunately for them both, le bachelor did not take le hint. Instead, Kevin says, he showed up at his would-be lover’s house and paced back and forth outside the door for an hour while sending creepy text messages. “He finally left, but not without leaving a bouquet of red carnations on the hood of the car with this note attached.”

Please understand I LOVE YOU AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT

related: He’s just not that into unicorns

Tags: lOWERCASE l · San Francisco · spurned lover

Neighborhood crazy-watch

March 6th, 2009 · 75 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Quebec says this note is posted on the door of an apartment in her building. “Looks like somebody had a rough breakup,” she speculates…in which case I think dude is probably better off.

Still, I think the ambiguity here presents a wealth of other possible scenarios, no?

You know who you are. THIS IS A REMINDER that just because you have a key it doesn't mean you can enter my apt!

related: and all the pieces matter

Tags: Canada · crazypants · ex drama · neighbors · you know who you are

To have and to hold

March 2nd, 2009 · 104 Comments

To be honest, I find this note — from an anonymous submitter in Raleigh, N.C.. — to be kind of depressing. So let me just say this: if you’ve recently broken up with a significant other and have been thinking, “Hmm, maybe a heartfelt note is the way to win him/her back!” — JUST. SAY. NO.

Anyway, our submitter writes: “When my husband unpacked his belongings from his ex-wife’s house, he kept finding little ‘surprises.’ For example, although they did not go to high school together, she had signed his senior yearbook, and little notes and reproductions of wedding pictures were stuck in books and in pockets of his clothes. Our favorite was this note we found in his camera case.”

Never to be Replaced! Always #1 Your one and only Wife #1 To have and to hold

(Yes, yes, it looks like “to have anal to hold.”)

related: some dating advice

Tags: crazypants · ex drama · North Carolina

He’s just not that into unicorns

February 15th, 2009 · 97 Comments

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

Dear Tyler, I painted you a valentine turtle and you said you would meet me earlier so I could give it to you, but YOU LIED! So, I am taping it to your door. Happy Valentine's day!  I don't think we should see each other any more.  Love, Molly!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

Amor,  I'm really disappointed in you. You are not my better half instead my Bitter Half!

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
extra credit: The legend of Casey™ and Caymus™

Tags: California · college life · Colorado · heart · nice stationery · rainbow-colored · sig o · signed with love · spurned lover

Just another picture to burn

January 21st, 2009 · 74 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Pittsburgh says this note was sitting atop a copy-room filing cabinet — and a stack of 50 or so identical print-outs of the Jo Bros. “Guess someone in the office is on Team Taylor Swift!”

GREAT USE OF RESOURCES!

related: Let’s not mince words

extra credit: Taylor Swift’s passive-aggressive swipe at Joe Jonas [youtube]

Tags: ex drama · office · office supplies · Pittsburgh

Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile

December 4th, 2008 · 104 Comments

The icing on top here, says our submitter, is the second comment — the one from Billy. Why? Because, well, that’s the guy Slade just broke up with.

Adds our submitter: “Awkward pretty much sums it up.”

Trust me. Being single is not bad at all. I am having more fun now, and you should too! (I disagree.)

related: please pick up your dirty laundry asap

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · most popular notes of 2008 · oh no you didn't

The Scarlet Status Update

November 14th, 2008 · 189 Comments

Today’s Facebook Friday submission comes from an anonymous onlooker in College Park, <aryland. (read from the bottom up.)

GUESS WHO CHEATED ON ME AMANDA

related: I challenge you to an emoticon-off!

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · spelling and grammar police