Entries Tagged as 'weddings and bridezillas'

Stand down, wedding guests

July 17th, 2014 · 111 Comments

Spotted at a wedding in Texas. Says our submitter, “The food was BBQ. The DJ never made the announcement for seconds.”

Stand down, wedding guests

 

related: The bride will be accepting gifts

Tags: food · Texas · weddings and bridezillas

Andrew from the Internet strikes again

April 5th, 2013 · 141 Comments

You might recall the letter that Bill and Mara received from a stranger informing that “no one cares about your damn wedding.” Despite Andrew from the Internet’s professed apathy, it seems he had enough time on his hands to not just comb through Bill’s blog, but Bill and Mara’s wedding guestbook as well.

Bill says a family member, mistakenly assuming that the guestbook entries could only be viewed by friends and family, left a note about having moved, including their new address. “We soon caught the message and removed the address,” Bill says, “but not before Andrew saw the page.”

Dear [redacted], Hi there. My name is Andrew and I’m from the internet. I saw that you posted your and your husband’s home address publicly on Bill and Mara’s awful little wedding website for the whole internet to see. Don’t do that. I mean you no harm, but there are people on the internet who might. Now, fingers crossed, hopefully all that will become of this is that you get this snarky letter from an anonymous stranger. But, if some nutcase came after y’all with ease because you were too lazy to send Bill and Mara an email or a letter with your home address, how would you feel? The internet is a big, scary place that anyone in the world can access. Don’t be stupid. Protect yourself by keeping private information private. GOOD LUCK P.S. Your address is 9TH AVE, not “9 Ave”. P.P.S. Kudos for knowing your zip 4 though.

 

related: My name is Andrew, and I’m from the Internet.

Tags: "helpful" advice · p.s. · smartass · weddings and bridezillas

Here comes the troll

March 26th, 2013 · 164 Comments

Bill from Florida and his bride, Mara, both electrical engineering majors, decided to infuse their passion for their field into their “Circuit and Swirls”-themed wedding, complete with invitations featuring actual LED-running circuits. In the DIY spirit of things, Bill posted a video and a how-to guide on his blog. (So far, so good.)

A month or so later, after Bill and Mara returned from their honeymoon, they found this handwritten manifesto — excuse me, concerned warning — in their mailbox. (Because apparently plain ol’ Internet bile-spewing via, you know, the Internet would have been a little bit too passive.)

Dear Bill and Mara, Hi there. My name is Andrew and I’m from the Internet. I came across y’all (and what appears to be y’all’s address) from a post on Wedinator. Looks like Bill posted this one himself…shocker. I’d like to point out early on here that I mean you no harm—but there are idiots on the internet who might. Moral of the story? Don’t put your home address on the internet. P.S.: ads on your videos about your wedding crap? Kindy trashy. Sure didn’t notice these until y’all started getting views in the thousands.  So, the fancy blinky invitations? Pretty cool, and kudos on the homebrew, but three words: OVER THE TOP. There is no call for this, it’s just for attention. Seriously.  Key Points:  How many people are going to keep and cherish these thing forever?  Seriously, No one cares about your damn wedding. Folks go to weddings for only a few reasons. Social obligations, food, Liquor. Looks like this is an expensive, extravagant shindig. How much did it cost? Who paid? Or financed? How many grocery trip, tanks of gas, or house down payments is that? Most people who have extravagant weddings could care less about actually getting married, they just want to be in a wedding.  You guys are really pretentious. Personal blogs are bad enough, but wedding/relationship websites are kind of disgusting.  Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Think about this: if you would be satisfied with a brief chapel wedding without guests and a road trip for a honeymoon, then you’re really ready to marry. GOOD LUCK.

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

 

Tags: "helpful" advice · Florida · most popular notes of 2013 · TL;DR · weddings and bridezillas

Local paper doing its part to keep uppity women in their place…on the society page

January 13th, 2011 · 64 Comments

While scanning the Celebrations section of the local newspaper, Caroline in Raleigh, North Carolina was amused to see this unusual little “non-wedding announcement.”

And while I’m sure the editors (bless their hearts) were just pleased by this cheeky bit of “outside the box” feature-writing — with no implied judgement regarding a young woman’s lack of an MRS. degree — the “tsk-tsking” feel of the last line (unintentional or not) still made me feel like I was reading a Junior League newsletter from 1962.

While her three siblings were hard at work planning their respective weddings, Nikelle Orellana was busy honing her creative skills. On June 24, 2010 she received a daytime Emmy for Outstanding Achievement in Main Title and Graphic Design. The award was for her work on Avec Eric, a cooking show featured on PBS. Nikelle is the daughter of Dr. and Mrs. Juan Orellana of Wake Forest, NC. She holds degrees from NC State School of Design and California Institute of the Arts (Cal Arts). Ms. Orellana is currently living in NYC where she works as a senior graphic designer for Droga 5. At present she has no plans for a wedding.

related: The “Next to Marry” List

extra credit: Dad glad for three weddings [newsobserver.com]

Tags: newspaper · North Carolina · Raleigh · weddings and bridezillas

Exes and Ohs

July 29th, 2010 · 111 Comments

It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.

Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”

Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive),  in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.

Hi Erin! In case you weren't aware I live here as well (13 years). Thanks! Linda

On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.

Nancy cheated on her husband while he was deployed to Iraq and no longer lives at this address. Return to sender.

related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!

Tags: Christmas · ex drama · family · going postal · Oops? · Texas · Toronto · weddings and bridezillas

The “Next to Marry” List

June 1st, 2010 · 95 Comments

Scix in Salt Lake City, Utah found this Valentine tucked into a book at a local thrift store run by the Mormon Church. “The idea of using any edition of The Rules to get your kids married is kind of scary,” he says, but imagining the sweet, naive Mormon mom behind it (doing EVERYTHING IN HER POWER) makes it kind of cute…if a bit absurd.

K.T. - I'm sending Christy

related: We are sure you will be a beautiful bride, but…

Tags: nice stationery · Salt Lake City · signed with love · weddings and bridezillas

I am beautiful, no matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)

April 28th, 2010 · 143 Comments

Katie in Oklahoma City was cleaning out a box of wedding memorabilia when she rediscovered this note from her mother, written just after she paid for Katie’s wedding dress.

Although I know a lot of brides who would have immediately ripped this card (and the enclosed check) to bits, Katie accepted the gift with impressively good humor. “I found it funny,” she says, “because it’s just the way my Mom is. She signed my Dad’s name too, but it’s from her…just her.”

Dear Katie, You are beautiful now. We are sure you will be a beautiful bride. To help insure our wedding dress investment, please buy some scales of your choosing with this money and weigh yourself once a week. We love you and want you to enjoy your wedding day. This present might help with some of the stress. With love, Mom & Dad

“Oh, and just FYI,” Katie adds, “I think I weighed 115 pounds at the time this note was written.”

related: Loose lips shrink hips?

extra credit: We hope there’s a Borg scale for every bride! [LIFE magazine, 1961]

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little insensitive · hey fatty · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2010 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · Oklahoma · signed with love · weddings and bridezillas

Your Facebook friends: just not that into you.

March 7th, 2010 · 72 Comments

Facebook: always there to remind you of all the fun you’re not having.

Christina hates not getting invited to anything anymore. Is it because I'm married? (no, it's because you are married to a prick.)

Meg wants to get out of the house and do something fun. I wish my friends hadn't disappeared when I got pregnant.

it's great that everyone has more important things to do than come to my wedding - i guess you find out who really cares about you...

Not all of them...obviously

related: Socializing (you’re doing it wrong)

Tags: Facebook · frenemies · preggers · weddings and bridezillas

Well, looks like somebody dodged a bullet.

January 29th, 2010 · 101 Comments

Diaries, people. Pen and ink. Lock and key. Not on the Internet for everyone to see (and cringe over)!

M- Realized that if she was still getting married oct 3rd she would be in panic mode since her wedding dress she ordered back in june has not arrived yet. So thank you tim for calling off the wedding cuz I would seriously be freaking out right now! Life is awesome :o)

related: dirty, dirty bridesmaids

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · smiley · weddings and bridezillas

Dirty, dirty bridesmaids

January 21st, 2010 · 77 Comments

“I was forced to go wedding dress shopping with a total bridezilla I know,” writes our submitter in Fredericksburg, Virginia. “Another girl with us is also engaged to be married, and she wanted to try on dresses too. Bridezilla just smiled sweetly and pointed to the sign posted in the dressing room. Her exact words: ‘Sorry, only the bride is allowed, and today is my day.’”

There will be a $75 cleaning fee for wedding gowns being tried on by anyone other than the bride.

Apparently you’d better keep an eye on those shifty bridesmaids when they’re shopping for the bachelorette party, too. (Or else…cow them into submission with more threats of an unenforceable nature?)

Yeah, good luck with that

(Spotted by Molly at “Kitty House” boutique in Irvine, California.)

related: What say you, Emily Post?

Tags: California · stealing · Virginia · weddings and bridezillas · WTF?