Entries Tagged as 'martyr complex'
“If you want respect,” barked the Daddy tree, “you gotta earn it. Show ‘some freakin’ acorns!”
“But Daaaaaaad,” whined the trembling young sapling. “I just…I just want to be beautiful!”
“What is this, a goddamn Shel Silverstein book? Quit your birching already.”
(As witnessed by Kevin in Arcata, California, and (below) by Taber in Richmond, Virginia.)
But as Michael in Seattle observed, at least one of those sad little trees wasn’t about to let his bully of a father have the last word.
related: The right to bear fruit
Tags: anthropomorphism · California · dogs · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · martyr complex · piss · Richmond · Seattle
When I was a kid, my mother liked to say that I had a “flair for the dramatic.” Just ask her about the My Little Pony sewing machine she promised — I mean crossed her heart and hoped to die promised — that I could have when I turned six. (I’m still waiting.)
If only my parents had sent my temper-tantrum-throwing little bratty self to time-out armed with pencil and paper! Then we might have precious mementos like this one, written by the youngest daughter of our anonymous submitter from Pennsylvania. After being sent to her room for bad behavior, darling daughter — “a chronic notewriter” — slipped this under the door for her parents to discover.
(The crossed-out “Love” is what kills me.) And of course, it’s not just little girls who resort to such melodrama.
As Sara in Phoenix explains, ”My husband and I were outside one evening, deaf to the ‘screams’ of my 9-year-old son, Eliot. Apparently, he was in his room and bumped his fish tank, causing a small amount of water to slosh out, and he panicked. When we came back inside, we found the above note shoved under our bedroom door. Upon examination of said fish tank, we could find zero evidence of leak-springing…but then, we were also laughing pretty hard at the indignant note — especially its closing and postscript.”
Adds Sara: “P.S. Bob is fine.”
related: The joys of motherhood
Tags: guilt trip · kids · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · p.s.
…especially when the invitation is extended via your Facebook wall to everyone you know.
Or (oopsies!) almost everyone you know.
related: Your Facebook friends…just not that into you.
extra credit: STFU, Parents
Tags: cry me a freaking river · frenemies · it's my party · kids · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · Oops? · preggers
Gail in Pennsylvania says the Ann Taylor Loft store at her local mall has a small table stocked with paper and crayons — “an offering to the busy mother who has been forced to bring her pesky little children along for a shopping trip.”
When she took a closer look at the table’s scribblings, however, she had to chuckle at the sitcom-like image of a grown man stuffed into one those kiddie-sized chairs. Adds Gail: “I wonder if Greg’s wife ever saw her wonderful husband’s little PA note to the world? Well, here’s her chance!”
related: Happy reinforcing gender stereotypes day!
Tags: actually totally reasonable · battle of the sexes · martyr complex · message to all intended for one · Pennsylvania · retail hell · sig o
“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.
Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)
related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!
Tags: cleaning · dishes · martyr complex · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · You call that punctuation?
Heather in Indianapolis is the kind of gal who helps out a pal who’s down on his luck. So when her marginally employed friend needed a place to crash while he got back on his feet, she let Greg live in her house and help himself to her food and other belongings, like her laptop, “pretty much rent-free,” for three months.
One day, after several hours spent trying to get rid of all the spyware on her computer — thanks to all the porn sites she found in the browser history — she turned on parental controls. (A lil’ passive-aggressive? Maybe.) Then, when she forgot to log off one day, Greg removed them.
When Heather figured this out (after being bombarded by spyware once again) she added the parental controls back. And Greg — instead of saying something like, “Hey, did you realize those settings block stuff like Google and Careerbuilder?” — left her this charming note.
“According to this note,” Heather says, “in addition to all the horrible things I’ve done such as give him a place to live, let him eat my food, give him breaks on rent for months at a time and put up with his laziness, carelessness and filth, I have also DENIED HIM A SOCIAL LIFE! OMG!”
UPDATE: The back of the note!
Shoshana, it looks like you have some competition.
related: WoW, indeed.
Tags: frenemies · guilt trip · Indianapolis · martyr complex · moving/not moving · not cool · p.s. · roommates
Kim in Canberra says this A3-sized missive was posted in numerous locations on all four floors of her building. Of this numbered list, I’d say #3 is what puts it over the top.
On a related note: Did you know the word “avocado” comes from the Aztec word for testicle? (Thanks, Wikipedia!)
related: Who moved my cheese?
extra credit: Someone is stealing avocados, and guac cops are on the case [nytimes.com]
Tags: Australia · Canberra · college life · martyr complex · office fridge · stealing · TL;DR
Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”
(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)
Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
Tags: birthday · Canada · Grandma · martyr complex · Ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo
This martyr alert spotted by Randy on the breakroom fridge of his office in Chico, California…
related: Coffee, mate?
Tags: California · coffee · martyr complex · milk · office fridge · thanks (but not really)
Writes our anonymous submitter: “I’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. In fact, we’re all currently living in different states. My mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. On Mother’s Day she screened my call, then mass-texted all four of us this gem. Happy Mother’s day, Mom!!”
Meanwhile, Stephen in Spain thought he was being considerate by waiting until later in the day to call, given the six-hour time difference. Next year, he’ll know to wake his Mom up at 4 a.m. to show her JUST HOW MUCH HE CARES!
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have
Tags: e-mail · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · text message