Entries Tagged as 'Boston'

Scapegoat of the Sea

May 12th, 2014 · 22 Comments

Joanna in Boston says this started with “have a blessed day,” and has continued to escalate from there.

Please wash sink when you dump food, especially tuna fish. It reeks. HAVE A BLESSED DAY! Three most wanted tuna offenders. I feel discriminated against. I have good taste. Please note: Mary did not write this note. Mary is not passive-aggressive.  -Mary

related: Fish cookies, anyone?

Tags: Boston · fish · office · public shaming · rebuttals

Greetings from the Polar Vortex

January 8th, 2014 · 126 Comments

Writes Steve in Boston: “This note cracks me up because it is, on the one hand, a request for more civility and, on the other hand, a not so thinly veiled threat.” (How so very Boston!)

By City of Boston law, I am entitled to save this spent after having spent an hour of backbreaking work shoveling. I hope you with respect your neighbors next time, you piece of shit. Love, Vigilante Justice P.S. Happy Holidays!

related: Can you dig it?

extra credit: Boston’s “parking chair” law [washingtonpost.com]

Tags: Boston · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · parking

Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 130 Comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)

It’s hard out there for a tanning salon owner

August 6th, 2013 · 37 Comments

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

I fired the fat, ugly, pig for stealing from me This inconvenience was brought about by her Sorry  Will reopen soon

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

Tags: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI

You’ve (still) got mail!

March 6th, 2013 · 55 Comments

We’ve received another report from our Back Bay informant, and it seems the stalemate with the tenant in 2D continues!

2d: The extreme pressure on the glue on the postal envelopes & fliers in your densely packed mailbox has reached .017421 isobars, which, in a few days, if not relieved by EMPTYING the box, will result in a horrible BRACKRAKATOA explosion here in the Bay, enough so that even the legions of beggars on Boylston  & Dartmouth streets will have to evacuate, so please empty the box. Thank you. Sincerely, Stephen Hawing. United States Postal Scientist, USPS. P.S. and If you could empty the box every month or so it would be appreciated.

related: You’ve got mail!

Tags: Boston · going postal · public shaming · smartass

You’ve got mail!

February 28th, 2013 · 63 Comments

Writes our submitter in Boston: “Our mailman always finds the most creative and effective ways to convey his thoughts to those who neglect their mail.”

Congratulations 2d — You must be proud of the fact that you have accumulated the most mail ever in Back Bay history for someone who has not left the country, enough in fact that it now completely fills a 2nd unused mailbox here. Celebrate!! Be proud! Revel in the glory

related: Apartment D is NOT vacant!

Tags: Boston · going postal · public shaming

…but don’t do that.

February 26th, 2013 · 41 Comments

Slow clap for this building manager in Boston, anyone?

Do anything you want with the paper towels! It's an arts neighborhood: make a sculpture. Winter's coming: make a neck ruff. Roll your own: and smoke away from the building. But please don't put them in the toilet!! Put them in the trash...throw them out the nearest window...adopt them...send them to reform school...but don't put them in the toilet! Our staff and the people downstairs are very tired of the overflow floods.

related: Things to do this summer

Tags: bathroom · Boston · toilet

Hair-raising indignation

January 10th, 2013 · 47 Comments

This type of note, I think, is the absolute WORST.

This hair has been hanging here for more than SIX MONTHS. Has anyone else noticed. Cleaning people haven't.

related: This thing is in the way. Is someone going to move it? 

Tags: bathroom · Boston · hair · office

Faux (feu) pas

January 17th, 2011 · 42 Comments

To me, this note is like that scene about 17 minutes into an episode of Law & Order, when the detectives run into an overly-talkative building manager and ask him he’s seen anything suspicious lately. Then, inevitably, the guy says something like, “Well, now that you mention it, ’bout two days ago, one of the residents tried to burn some old bloody clothes in that fireplace over dere. I guess the guy wasn’t too smaht, cause he didn’t figure out that fireplace ain’t real. You know, it’s just for show.”

To Whom it May Concern, I regret to inform you that this is, in fact, a fake fireplace, and that your attempt to burn your old clothes has failed. Kindly collect your things and dispose of them properly.  Regretfully yours, Not the maid

related: When sleeping, you will get burned and die immediately.

Tags: Boston · neighbors · Oops? · Too good to be real? · WTF?

The Ring 3: Death by Sandwich

December 7th, 2010 · 86 Comments

Matt, a law student in Boston, surmises that this note posted in the school’s student lounge was written by non-native English speaker  — “the other possibility being that the stress of exams has eaten away at his ability to write coherently.” But what’s curious about this note isn’t the spelling and grammar so much as the the variety and specificity of immediate punishments that are promised within.

“For example,” asks Matt: “Will the food choke the perpetrator, or will Frank be the choker?  How will the burns be administered to the sleeper?” And so on. ”In any case,” he adds, “at least the various threatened deaths won’t be drawn out. (Also, to the best of my knowledge, there is no ‘video record’ of the refrigerator.)”

To the asshole who stole my food this Friday between 12:00 pm - 5:00 pm on the first floor: Go to hell! You bastard! You're son of bitch! You're a jerk! You make me sick! I hate you! You will die soon! When you get out of this door, you will be hit by a car and die immediately! When you eating food, you will get choked and die immediately! When you sleeping, you will get burned and die immediately! My food has been stolen more than 5 times since last semester. I'm not going to put up with this! I'm telling you for the last time! Don't do this again! Because I'm going to check the video record and You are dead meat!  PS: People please pay attention, thief is around us! When you get him, you must kick his ass!

related: Testosterone-fueled wackjobs make the dardnest threats!

Tags: Boston · Clearly a non-native English speaker · die bitch die · food · lawyers & law students · not-so-veiled threats · p.s.