Writes our submitter in Dallas: “My ex-roommate is possibly THE most passive-aggressive person I’ve ever met. We’ve reconciled, mostly, but we still have our moments. For example, just after Christmas, she was going out of town and wanted me to look after her cat. She used the same e-mail as an opportunity to say thank you for the Christmas gift my girlfriend and I gave her.

related: Thanks for saving me the trouble of writing a thank you note!

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?

Writes Roxanne in New Jersey: “When my niece, Diana, returned from a yearbook-signing party, she showed me this inscription from a girl who Diana says she hardly even knows. We’re both dying to know what those terrible warnings about her could have been (but of course, grateful that Leah apparently gave her a chance in spite of them.)”

related: 2good 2be 4gotten

Writes an anonymous roommate  in Virginia: “Apparently living with me and my roommates is so terrible that after leaving the house, this girl felt the need to advise [my other] ‘rooms’ to stay at her boyfriend’s house and not with us.” Adds our (not-at-all bitter) submitter: “The only batteries she needs to recharge are the ones that go in her vibrator.”

related: Why can’t we all just get along? Don’t be bitches!

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy.  The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

related: You seem like really nice people, but…