PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » mean girls

The parenthetical smiley says it all

Kerry — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:26:07 +0000

Writes our submitter in Dallas: “My ex-roommate is possibly THE most passive-aggressive person I’ve ever met. We’ve reconciled, mostly, but we still have our moments. For example, just after Christmas, she was going out of town and wanted me to look after her cat. She used the same e-mail as an opportunity to say thank you for the Christmas gift my girlfriend and I gave her.

Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but…

Kerry — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:10:06 +0000

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

The old “wipe & walk” trick

Kerry — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:04:26 +0000

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

Well, so much for “have a nice summer, see you next year”

Kerry — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 18:18:36 +0000

Writes Roxanne in New Jersey: “When my niece, Diana, returned from a yearbook-signing party, she showed me this inscription from a girl who Diana says she hardly even knows. We’re both dying to know what those terrible warnings about her could have been (but of course, grateful that Leah apparently gave her a chance in spite of them.)”

related: 2good 2be 4gotten

I love you, you’re perfect, now leave

Kerry — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 00:52:58 +0000

Writes an anonymous roommate in Virginia: “Apparently living with me and my roommates is so terrible that after leaving the house, this girl felt the need to advise [my other] ‘rooms’ to stay at her boyfriend’s house and not with us.” Adds our (not-at-all bitter) submitter: “The only batteries she needs to recharge are the ones that go in her vibrator.”

I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities.

Kerry — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 02:18:22 +0000

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy. The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

Trash talk

Kerry — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:05:42 +0000

I’m sure these ladies thank their lucky stars every day that they have each other as roommates. Wouldn’t you?

Let the rest of us eat cake.

Kerry — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 21:45:41 +0000

“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we bought her some crappy vegan thing that wouldn’t make her break out.”

(The cake, Casey says, was “delicious.”)

extra credit: CakeWrecks.com

The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Kerry — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:11:47 +0000

Carmen in Washington, D.C. says she and her roommates suffered for months at the hands of this “crazy, obsessive-compulsive who made our lives miserable.” By the end of the fall semester, Carmen says, the house was a near-war zone, and the girl finally moved out.

“Around the time she was packing up her things, we decorated for the holidays and cleaned up a bit. She was livid, and accused us of waiting to clean up until then because we had been trying to drive her from the house with the mess.” (Hmm…how would you classify that sort of behavior?)

A week later, Carmen and her roommates received this card. Enclosed: one house key, and one hearty holiday dose of condescension.

(the front of the card)

related: way harsh, tai

Love is a mixed-signals tape

Kerry — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:49:14 +0000

Based on this Valentine — found by Matthew at his share house in London — I am citing Jane with a serious “misuse of mixtape” violation. (And “by the way,” talk about burying the lead!)

Jane, minxes like you are what keep the Seth Cohen/Landry Clarks of the world pining away for the unattainable Summer Roberts/Tyra Collettes of the world instead of making a go of it with the smart, punky, emotionally available girl with cute glasses who is so clearly the better choice. I reserve judgment on Gareth only because this note was found abandoned in a share house he no longer lives in, rather than being pressed into a scrapbook somewhere. Let’s hope he’s moved on from his infatuation with this unemployed little cock-tease.

related: Textbook Dmitri

Facebook wedding drama

Kerry — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 00:18:15 +0000

As always, Facebook users are keepin’ it classy.

related: Tant pis, mon amie

extra credit: STFU, Marrieds

The analog version of a Facebook wall post

Kerry — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 23:54:41 +0000

This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.

Friends don’t lie 2 friends

Kerry — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:30:05 +0000

I’ll admit, my first thought upon reading this note — found in the hallways of an American high school — was something along the lines of “Argh, kids today, with their chatspeak!” Can we all agree that adolescent girls are probably the most passive-aggressive creatures on earth?

related: 2 good 2 be 4gotten

Tant pis, mon amie

Kerry — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 06:13:18 +0000

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Amie and I were friends since junior high. We had plans to go out for my 22nd birthday, but she canceled the day of. I said it was cool and that we should reschedule, and then I never heard from her again…until four years later, when she requested me as a friend on Facebook. I rejected her. She friend-requested me again, and I rejected her…again.”

Amie, however, didn’t seem to get the message.

Adds our submitter: “For the record, my response was, ‘Thanks for the congrats!’”