Entries Tagged as 'message to all intended for one'

Not to name names, but…

April 11th, 2013 · 32 Comments

Seriously, Jay?

Today we had a situation where someone ate the center of 40-50 chic-fil-a- minis and left the bread. Please realize we don't want the bread you dug through. Feel free to either eat the bread or throw the bread away. This will help us all live together. Please read the following rules of functioning in a society. It may help.

related: S is for Sibling Rivalry

Tags: food · message to all intended for one · office · public shaming

The Shark Week Scriptures

September 16th, 2012 · 58 Comments

Spotted by Rebecca in a women’s dorm at an evangelical college in St. Louis, Missouri…

Jesus shed his blood for me, so you don't have to as well. Wrap your pad! P.S. We know who you are, nasty!

related post:

What Would Jesus Steal?

Tags: bathroom · bodily fluids · college life · hygiene · Jesus · message to all intended for one · St. Louis · that's disgusting · TMI

To spray or not spray?

June 3rd, 2012 · 73 Comments

At our submitter’s office in Fort Worth, the third-floor ladies room has an ongoing problem. “Every single day,” our submitter explains, one particular person uses the facilities and then sprays enough perfume to kill a cow…as if you could cover that smell.”

And yet, given the abundance of pro-sprayers in charge of office ladies’ rooms, I’m afraid this is bound to remain another one of those never-ending workplace disagreements.

If you "poo" in the "loo"....Please don't spray perfume, because it still smells "ewww". (There is nothing worse than perfumed poo. The "poo" smell is still there, but not we have another assault on our poor nose.) We 'poo' too.... It's OK.... Really.....

related: Have you tried Giant Migraine™ scented air freshener?

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · ellipses-crazed · message to all intended for one · odor · shit

George Clooney, breaker of hearts (and printers)

April 20th, 2012 · 35 Comments

“My favorite part,” says our anonymous submitter: “THE DAMNING EVIDENCE, RIGHT BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES!! Shame on you, you know who you are! Look how much trouble you caused! Enjoy bearing your shameful secret crush on George Clooney that breaks printers and wastes staff time!”

This print job jammed the copier. It took two staff 30 minutes to dissemble [sic] the fuser and remove the paper jam. Meanwhile [REDACTED] staff were frustrated that they were unable to print. As a reminder, [REDACTED] pays the [REDACTED] for every print, copy and fax made on the Pay Per Copy printers.

And on a related note…

PLEASE DO NOT PRINT LARGE JOBS

related: The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

Tags: message to all intended for one · office · the printer

From the Manager’s Book of Quotes for Inspiring Workplace Paranoia

November 9th, 2011 · 43 Comments

Writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “This note appeared in the staff bathrooms the day after a meeting I had with my boss…a meeting that included some discussion about how large parts of my day involve looking for things to do. So…I guess I’m ‘uninteresting’?”

related: A few clues that you might be stuck in a soul-sucking job

Tags: message to all intended for one · now that's management · office

Another air freshener fracas

September 29th, 2011 · 121 Comments

“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)

Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”

To whomever is removing the Staples Summer Breeze Dry Air Freshener and replacing it with the Staples Lemon Peel Dry Air Freshener: Please stop doing this immediately; it seems as though [?] prefers the Summer Breeze. Several have complained about it disappearing. Thank you in advance.

related: Please spray your corpses BEFORE placing them in the restroom

extra credit: “How ‘fresh’ is air freshener?” [Time.com]

Tags: a matter of taste · bathroom · Louisiana · message to all intended for one · odor · office · smiley

Can you hack it?

June 20th, 2011 · 99 Comments

Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia: “There’s one guy in our office who comes from a cultural background where a good hearty cough/hack/spit is de rigueur, and he brings that little bit of culture to the office with him. I find it amusing, but apparently not everyone feels the same way.”

Please stop spitting and making loud deep throat noises in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

But wait, there’s more! Within a few hours of spotting the first note in the office men’s room, our submitter noticed a second one had joined it.

 Please stop making intolerant and culturally ignorant signs and posting them in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

Now if I only I could snap my fingers and get Mr. or Ms. Water-Cooler Wee-Wee transferred to this office…

related: What is up with the coughing?!

Tags: hygiene · message to all intended for one · noise · office · rebuttals · spitting

Bad dog! Stop that! Right now!

March 31st, 2011 · 50 Comments

When I read this landlord’s note…

AHEM..."SOMEONE" KEEPS LEAVING THIS DOOR OPEN. THIS IS VERY, VERY BAD!! STOP THAT!! RIGHT NOW!! THE MANAGEMENT THANKS YOU.

…this is roughly the image that came to mind:

Stop that! Right now!

Anyone else?

related: And you thought college students were foul…

Tags: a little patronizing · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · opening/closing · sad face · smiley

So this is your NON-vulgar side? Shut the front door!

March 21st, 2011 · 50 Comments

Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…

Hi Jason (and other intermittent door slammers): DO NOT SLAM THE BACK F*****G DOOR. The back room is a thoroughfare but it is also my office (and [redacted]). Sudden loud noises scare the shit out of me and also give me the f*****g shits like you wouldn't believe. Don't do it again or you will get to see a side of me that is extremely vulgar. I've been putting up with it intermittently for the past 2 years and am over it. If you have a problem with my request come and see me so I can give you a piece of my mind.

related: Dear lovely ladies

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · door-slamming · message to all intended for one · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity · shit · TMI · warning