Entries Tagged as 'message to all intended for one'

Another air freshener fracas

September 29th, 2011 · 121 Comments

“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)

Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”

To whomever is removing the Staples Summer Breeze Dry Air Freshener and replacing it with the Staples Lemon Peel Dry Air Freshener: Please stop doing this immediately; it seems as though [?] prefers the Summer Breeze. Several have complained about it disappearing. Thank you in advance.

related: Please spray your corpses BEFORE placing them in the restroom

extra credit: “How ‘fresh’ is air freshener?” [Time.com]

Tags: a matter of taste · bathroom · Louisiana · message to all intended for one · odor · office · smiley

Can you hack it?

June 20th, 2011 · 99 Comments

Writes our submitter in Sydney, Australia: “There’s one guy in our office who comes from a cultural background where a good hearty cough/hack/spit is de rigueur, and he brings that little bit of culture to the office with him. I find it amusing, but apparently not everyone feels the same way.”

Please stop spitting and making loud deep throat noises in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

But wait, there’s more! Within a few hours of spotting the first note in the office men’s room, our submitter noticed a second one had joined it.

 Please stop making intolerant and culturally ignorant signs and posting them in this bathroom. It makes me feel sick and is disturbing the work environment. Thank you for your understanding.

Now if I only I could snap my fingers and get Mr. or Ms. Water-Cooler Wee-Wee transferred to this office…

related: What is up with the coughing?!

Tags: hygiene · message to all intended for one · noise · office · rebuttals · spitting

Bad dog! Stop that! Right now!

March 31st, 2011 · 50 Comments

When I read this landlord’s note…

AHEM..."SOMEONE" KEEPS LEAVING THIS DOOR OPEN. THIS IS VERY, VERY BAD!! STOP THAT!! RIGHT NOW!! THE MANAGEMENT THANKS YOU.

…this is roughly the image that came to mind:

Stop that! Right now!

Anyone else?

related: And you thought college students were foul…

Tags: a little patronizing · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · opening/closing · sad face · smiley

So this is your NON-vulgar side? Shut the front door!

March 21st, 2011 · 50 Comments

Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…

Hi Jason (and other intermittent door slammers): DO NOT SLAM THE BACK F*****G DOOR. The back room is a thoroughfare but it is also my office (and [redacted]). Sudden loud noises scare the shit out of me and also give me the f*****g shits like you wouldn't believe. Don't do it again or you will get to see a side of me that is extremely vulgar. I've been putting up with it intermittently for the past 2 years and am over it. If you have a problem with my request come and see me so I can give you a piece of my mind.

related: Dear lovely ladies

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · door-slamming · message to all intended for one · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity · shit · TMI · warning

Memo to all employees (including specifically you)

November 18th, 2010 · 105 Comments

Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”

(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)

The AYS staff is leaving dirty dishes behind the front desk. Eating is not allowed in the offices unless it is something minor like a bagel or a company sponsored meal like pizza. AYS associates are to take their breaks and eat in the Outback. Surfing the web while having a STINKY BURRITO and then leaving the dishes for someone else to clean up is not how we do it here. If you cannot abide by this we will address it using progressive discipline as outlined in the Associate Handbook.

Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)

Hi all, It is with regret that I have to circulate the following email. Please understand that I would not send this message if it was not a big problem for me. As a person that is severely sensitive to smells I have to ask for your help. I am very sensitive to body odour and hope that folks in the office can be aware of this and try to minimize odour for the comfort of all office staff, including specifically me. Our space is small and when in a small room together the odours can be quite strong. Stale body odour on clothes can be avoided by regularly washing and changing clothes. Keep one's breath fresh, regular brushing, using mouthwash or breath mints/gum. Also, to avoid spreading germs to other office staff, given the onset of flu season, please wash hands frequently. Sneeze into a Kleenex and discard right away or sneeze into your sleeve not your hands. If you are under the weather the HR policy allows for sick time, so please stay home until you are better.

related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · Comic Sans Alert · dishes · fired · food · hygiene · memo · message to all intended for one · odor · office cop · Ontario · Tulsa

Please clean ALL your feathers.

November 17th, 2010 · 33 Comments

Paul in New York City has no idea what inspired this peculiar sign in his building’s laundry room…

Please clean ALL your feathers. They NOT acceptable & I will bring it up at the meeting if not.

If only he had attended the building meeting, where the offending neighbor offered his response…

Dirty Bird

related: That’s actually a totally reasonable response.

Tags: cleaning · laundry · message to all intended for one · neighbors · New York · WTF?

We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you started posting notes)

June 16th, 2010 · 135 Comments

Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)

If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?

To the INDIGENT who stole MY dryer sheet and MY quarter that I left on MY washer while MY clothes were washing..and yes, I know who you are... Are you THAT fuckin poor that you have to steal a quarter??  Grow the fuck up.  We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you moved here). I've left quarters and dryer sheets on my washer many times, and they've never been taken til now. You can tape a dollar to this note if you have any kind of a conscience...otherwise, expect some bad karma comin back at ya...

related: I know where you live, laundry thief

Tags: ellipses-crazed · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · grow up · I know who you are · karma's a bitch · laundry · message to all intended for one · money · neighbors · stealing · Tucson

“Really, Honey. Take your time!”

April 9th, 2010 · 118 Comments

Gail in Pennsylvania says the Ann Taylor Loft store at her local mall has a small table stocked with paper and crayons — “an offering to the busy mother who has been forced to bring her pesky little children along for a shopping trip.”

When she took a closer look at the table’s scribblings, however, she had to chuckle at the sitcom-like image of a grown man stuffed into one those kiddie-sized chairs. Adds Gail: “I wonder if Greg’s wife ever saw her wonderful husband’s little PA note to the world? Well, here’s her chance!”

Greg was here waiting 'PATIENTLY' for his wife to try clothes on

related: Happy reinforcing gender stereotypes day!

Tags: actually totally reasonable · battle of the sexes · martyr complex · message to all intended for one · Pennsylvania · retail hell · sig o

Frig you, ya big goof

August 19th, 2009 · 126 Comments

This note, from Michelle in Denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.

“This bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible,” Michelle says. “On the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. This is why you don’t steal from the fridge when you work for a multimedia corporation!”

To the person who help themselves to my entire carton of eggs. I saw what you did and I know who you are. I sit 10 steps from the frig [sic] ya big good. The jig is up pal But hang on. Today is your lucky day. I'm not going to say a word to anyone. But moving forward if so much as a grape goes missing from either refrigerator, then I'm going to HR. Have a nice day :)

related: ABP on the V8

Tags: Denver · food · have a nice day · message to all intended for one · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · smiley

More crooked chiropractors

July 23rd, 2009 · 109 Comments

My favorite part of this landlord-chiropractor dispute in Brooklyn is the (professionally printed?) “tenant snuck out over the weekend” sign. How long has this landlord had that one in reserve?

TENANT SNUCK OUT OVER WEEKEND

Meanwhile, Dan in Dallas received this direct-mail don’t from a doc he’s dubbed “Dmitri the chiropractor.”

spinal manipulation

related: spinal manipulation

Tags: Brooklyn · Dallas/Fort Worth · landlords and property managers · message to all intended for one