In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.

UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!

UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!

UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!

UPDATE 4: It continues!

related: Who are you calling OCD?

This oh-so-subtle note was posted by Mary’s former boss, “a pathetic professor in a backwater institution” where 90% of the graduate students happened to be Korean, Japanese, or Chinese.

“Nevermind that he doused himself with great lashings of Brut in an attempt to jazz up the bald-up-top-ponytail-in-back look he had going on,” Mary says. “There were a lot of things I could have said to him on a post-it, but I decided to be the big kid and quit.” Luckily for us, she swiped this note off the breakroom microwave first.

Interestingly, it seems fish-hating office workers elsewhere also share an affinity for clip art.

related: No smelly foods

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

related: No smelly foods

After receiving numerous “helpful tips” from her roommate at the University of Minnesota…

…Lydia decided to add a few “tips” of her own. (The large signs on the oven and the microwave were already there.)

related: Meet the world’s crankiest roommate

I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last  ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.

Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”

It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

related: NO FISH in the microwave!