Entries Tagged as 'microwave'

Crazy is right

February 19th, 2008 · 217 Comments

In the office kitchen, expecting your coworkers to wipe up the spatters from their exploded Hot Pockets seems like standard enough microwave etiquette. And a ban on charred popcorn and leftover tuna casserole? Eh, fair enough. But this note — from an anonymous office worker in Baltimore — is the kind of thing that leads to out-and-out mutiny.

Please clear any unused time off the microwave when you are finished.  Some of us have O.C.D. and leftover time drives us crazy.  -Thanks!

UPDATE: There’s a copycat on the loose!

UPDATE 2: They’re multiplying!

The copycat; busted!

UPDATE 3: The meta-madness continues!

meta like whoa

UPDATE 4: It continues!

Yet another copycat!

related: Who are you calling OCD?

Tags: a little uptight · Baltimore · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · office

Eau dear

February 11th, 2008 · 96 Comments

This oh-so-subtle note was posted by Mary’s former boss, “a pathetic professor in a backwater institution” where 90% of the graduate students happened to be Korean, Japanese, or Chinese.

“Nevermind that he doused himself with great lashings of Brut in an attempt to jazz up the bald-up-top-ponytail-in-back look he had going on,” Mary says. “There were a lot of things I could have said to him on a post-it, but I decided to be the big kid and quit.” Luckily for us, she swiped this note off the breakroom microwave first.

NO FISH. Is this subtle enough?

Interestingly, it seems fish-hating office workers elsewhere also share an affinity for clip art.

No fish in the microwave

When Heating Fish In the Microwave

Spongebob takes a stand

related: No smelly foods

Tags: a little insensitive · a matter of taste · clip art catastrophe · college life · excessive capitalization · fish · microwave · odor · office · spelling and grammar police

Office anthropomorphism

December 29th, 2007 · 65 Comments

Many offices, it seems, are a regular Disneyland of what only appear to be inanimate objects. The evidence?

From Frank in San Francisco, a sentient sponge:

USE ME RINSE ME + help keep me from getting ICKY! Thank you, Sponge

From Amy in Annapolis, Maryland, a talking toilet:

DID YOU FLUSH ME AND WIPE OFF MY SEAT????

From Ben in San Antonio, Texas, a talking door:

I noticed I am not shut when people enter or exit. Please make sure I am shut upon exiting or entering. -The Door

And then there’s my favorite – from an anonymous submitter in Washington, D.C. – a talking (and walking) microwave:

If You Guys Don't Keep Me Clean I'm walking away from you If you don't Believe TRY M

(Most baffling…where on earth did that clip art come from?)

related: I guess that’s why

Tags: Annapolis · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · confusion??? · D.C. · irregular capitalization · Maryland · microwave · opening/closing · San Antonio · San Francisco · Texas · toilet

You gotta keep ’em separated

October 18th, 2007 · 184 Comments

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

OK, WE GIVE UP!

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

To each his own microwave

July 19th, 2007 · 110 Comments

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

This microwave was privately purchased by SDT + is for their use only. Permission has been given by Facilities Services.

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

It has a PADLOCK!

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

This Microwave is the property of General Services/Accounts Receivable. If you would like to contribute to the cost and upkeep please contact General Services before using. Clean after use and ensure all food products are covered before cooking.

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

I haven't got a microwave as yet but this is where i am going to put it when I eventually get it.

related: No smelly foods

Tags: Belfast · kitchen · microwave · note wars · office · saga · spelling and grammar police

The Post-it Wars

June 4th, 2007 · 23 Comments

After receiving numerous “helpful tips” from her roommate at the University of Minnesota…

Tips for keeping counters clean!

TIP: If you use the sponge, squeeze it out and put it on the side of the sink. It will last longer and not get stinky! Thanks

DISH ETIQUETTE:  1) Please soak pots & pans IMMEDIATELY after use.  2) Put dishes in dishwasher right after washing them out.   3) Place cleaned cookware on a towel next to the sink.  4) Rinse dishes right after use.  5) Be considerate!

…Lydia decided to add a few “tips” of her own. (The large signs on the oven and the microwave were already there.)

Roommate's revenge

related: Meet the world’s crankiest roommate

Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · college life · dishes · etiquette · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · kitchen · microwave · Minnesota · rebuttals · roommates · sponges

Microwaves for Dummies

May 27th, 2007 · 7 Comments

I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last  ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.

Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”

REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT USE THIS MICROWAVE

Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · cleaning · Michigan · microwave · odor · office

No smelly foods

May 21st, 2007 · 16 Comments

It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

related: NO FISH in the microwave!

Tags: excessive underlining · food · group bitchfest · microwave · odor · office · smartass