Entries Tagged as 'misplaced patriotism'

Welcome to “Real America”

November 17th, 2011 · 123 Comments

Reports Barb in Las Vegas: “A woman in our office, originally from the Philippines, just got her citizenship. Our often inappropriate receptionist wrote this note on her card.”

Congrats on being a 'real American' now! No more climbing over barbed wire in the nite!

Yes, that really does say “no more climbing over barbed wire in the nite.” Adds Barb: “She also printed lyrics from West Side Story in giant font and hung them in the area where we had celebratory cake. So odd!”

I like to be in America! OK by me in America! Ev'rythin free in America. For a small fee in America!

related: America the not-so-beautiful

Tags: Comic Sans Alert · Las Vegas · misplaced patriotism · office · oh no you didn't · WTF?

Pets? Sure. Foreigners? Hells no!

January 4th, 2011 · 167 Comments

I wouldn’t call these two PA notes passive-aggressive — just “pretty awful.”

First up, from St. John’s, Newfoundland:

FOR RENT: Basement Apartment - $600 a month. If you are from a foreign country in the Middle East or Asia, please, by all means, call or come by, but I will not be renting your family this apartment. Freshly painted, pets are welcome, close to all major amenities.

Update: As commenter Reb points out: The “ad” from St. John’s is actually part of a Human Rights Commission campaign that’s trying to bring attention to discrimination like this; it’s not a real ad. Notice, for example, the lack of a phone number.

But this one, from Davisburg, Michigan is 100% real — and, as commenter James notes, not uncommon.

Please don't park Japanese cars in front of my office park the damn things in Japan. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don't get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

Please don't park Japanese cars in front of my office park the damn things in Japan. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don't get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

PLEASE DON’T PARK JAPANESE CARS IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE PARK THE DAMN THINGS IN JAPAN. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don’t get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT

(Thanks to Shawn in Canada and Sarah in Michigan for submitting!)

related: Dear Foreign Workers at the VW plant: we hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!

Tags: Canada · casual xenophobia · landlords and property managers · Michigan · misplaced patriotism · not so much passive-aggressive · parking · WTF?

If you don’t read this, the terrorists win! Do you hate America?

December 22nd, 2010 · 47 Comments

Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!

IF YOU SPIT YOUR GUM INTO THE URINAL, THE TERRORISTS. WIN. DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

If you don't replace the toilet roll, the terrorists have won. Do you hate America?

If you don't make more coffee the terrorists win!!! Why do you hate america???

Coffee Pot Threat Level

HEY! Yeah, you. Do you hate America? Every wasted drop of water represents a victory for the terrorists. Please, show your patriotism: Turn off the sink. -Thanks!

If you don't replace the toilet paper, the terrorists win. Do you hate America?

(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)

Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · coffee · Copycat · misplaced patriotism · office cop · toilet paper

What’s really wrong with America today?

July 4th, 2010 · 65 Comments

If you had to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong with America, what would you say? Out-of-control debt? Oil-slicked beaches? The KFC double-down?

Well, you’re wrong. All wrong! Luckily, we have Leia in College Station, Texas and Sarah in Ocean Beach, California to spread the word about the real issue plaguing the nation: people leaving stuff places.

To whoever left this cart here: you are precisely what is wrong with America. Take the cart BACK!

This is what's wrong with America: People don't take Responsibility for  Them selves! If you put this here, Please don't have children! Thank you

This is what's wrong with America: People don't take Responsibility for  Them selves! If you put this here, Please don't have children! Thank you

Actually, I take that all back. This might actually be what’s wrong with America today. Happy July 4th, everyone!

related: Do you hate America?

Tags: California · irregular capitalization · misplaced patriotism · Texas

Are you proud to be an American?

July 4th, 2009 · 206 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a university flat in the U.K. with four other guys. “Three of us (myself, an American, and a Brit) always take out the garbage and recycling when it’s our turn, but the two other international students seem to think it’s somehow beneath them. There must have been some unpleasantness while i was away for Easter break, because I came home to find this note stuck to the kitchen door, courtesy of my American flatmate.”

Adds our submitter: “I particularly like his choice of symbols to emphasize America as a ruling power: the stars and stripes, a cheeseburger, and Superman.” (And then, of course, there’s the note’s tone —  remarkably in line with American foreign policy!)

are you proud to be an american?

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

related: just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad

Tags: Americans abroad · college life · misplaced patriotism · most popular notes of 2009 · recycling · roommates · U.K.

Five approaches to T.P. maintenance

March 3rd, 2009 · 137 Comments

You could start with a basic visual aid…

Can you wipe with this? I can't. So please change out empty rolls!! They are behind you.

Or perhaps appeal to your readers’ sense of patriotism…

IF YOU DON'T REPLACE THE TOILET PAPER ROLLS THE TERRORISTS WIN. DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

…or go with a not-so-veiled threat.

If You Want To Keep Eating You Better Replace The Toilet Paper

Of course, you could just let your ass do the talking.

Brian, You make me sad. xo, Jen's Bum

But remember to cite your sources.

For clear, easy to understand directions on How to change the Fucking toilet paper TRY GOOGLE!

(Thanks to Ryan in West Palm Beach, Heather in Delaware, Julie in Marysville, Brian in British Columbia and bluepaintred in Canada for their advice on this matter.)

related: Four approaches to ice cube maintenance

Tags: bathroom · misplaced patriotism · not-so-veiled threats · toilet paper · visual aids