PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » St. Louis

…and F the Polar Bear!

Kerry — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 23:48:39 +0000

Jess in St. Louis says this dumpster “is definitely a manifestation of the microcosm of American value clashes that is my block.” Adds Jess: “Hopefully we can all survive the cardboard waste of Christmas in one piece.”

related: The right to bear fruit

Hey, look! A coffee pot!

Kerry — Fri, 13 May 2011 12:05:31 +0000

This isn’t the first “coffee-maker etiquette” flowchart I’ve seen, but it is the most aesthetically pleasing.

Says Sarah in St. Louis: “The IT department in our office is notorious for drinking the last of the coffee without making more.” (Note the subtle “I heart C++” mug.) Apparently, one of her co-workers thought breaking things down into engineer-speak might help.

Meanwhile, in Toledo, Ohio…a variation tailored to a slightly different audience:

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

When hand-washing gets a little out of hand

Kerry — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 16:35:12 +0000

When her company recently relocated, says Sara in St. Louis, her department and several others were thrown together in a new office where the marketing group had already staked its claim.

“Marketing had tagged the soap they supplied in the bathroom because it was getting thrown away,” says Sara, “but when the other groups moved in they started tagging their products too.”

At this point, she says, “It’s getting a little awkward. I’m not in any of these departments — I just want to wash my hands.”

HOT FAKE TREND ALERT! “Bros slicing bros,” a.k.a. “hate-eating” Domino’s pizza

Kerry — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 02:25:08 +0000

So, you still haven’t tried “new taste of Domino’s Pizza,” despite the barrage of marketing dollars being spent encouraging you to do so? Not to worry! I’ll save you the heartburn incurred by a certain food-filching WashU student and his victims.

Here’s the scoop: If you order a pizza from Domino’s, there’s a 60% chance it will taste like a college student’s balls, and a 40% chance it will taste like a college student’s balls. (Oh, and to the Domino’s brand managers reading this: feel free to quote us on that!)

Explains Bridget in St. Louis: “There has been a quite nefarious food thief stealing from the dorm’s community refrigerator lately, and I should know, since my stuff has been taken too. There have been a couple of complaints posted to the fridge, but this is the best one I’ve seen. It was written on a napkin duct-taped to a pizza box that had been (rather hastily) stuffed in the refrigerator.”

related: My mum bought me that pizza!

extra credit: “New York Times Discovers New Trend: Bros Icing Bros” [gawker.com]

My parents, the loan sharks

Kerry — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:21:57 +0000

Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.” Josh’s parents, meanwhile…

related: no money, no trophy

Mothers, lock up your crackers

Kerry — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:35:30 +0000

Writes Michael in St. Louis: “I’ve tried my best to figure out the logic behind writing this note and then putting the salami back in the fridge, rather than simply throwing it away…” but so far, no luck. In any case, he says, “I’m glad that it’s been saved it for posterity.”

This is all about the childern.

Kerry — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 04:43:29 +0000

Explains an anony-dad in St. Louis: “I asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened with the kids during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. I guess it offended her.”

An awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?

related: Happy to be of service