our anonymous submitter from chicago says she and her four siblings recently received this somewhat cryptic e-mail from dear old dad. explains a: “the initials refer to our names (and spouses’ names, where applicable). dad lives in west bloomfield. i’m pretty sure it means he wants us to visit?”

related: love, dad

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k, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

(check out that sad little orphan S!)
 
 
 
…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.

related: your mother doesn’t work here. or here. or here.

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nick in florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” he quickly pulled out his iphone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

meanwhile, lisa in maryland [...]

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our submitter from honolulu lives with two roommates…in a house that belongs to one of those roommate’s parents. (mayday! mayday!)
one day, apparently, mother dearest decided to come over for an unannounced visit. surprise!

(click to enlarge)
related: i can has guilt trip?

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andrea in beaver dam, wisconsin says her friend mckenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from mom.
(you can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

related: when a card just won’t do

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while returning a long-lost battery charger, kaitlin’s dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

meanwhile, sarah in greenville, s.c. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

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this (long-overdue) all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (how this one got buried in my inbox for so long, i have no idea.)
it comes to us courtesy of jennifer in chapel hill, n.c., who notes: “in this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate hq — [...]

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writes devra in san luis obispo, california:  “i’m visiting my parents in napa, where they both work at wineries. they recently found out that i smoke cigarettes, and though i’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. my mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, [...]

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writes jim in colorado: “when i attempt to cook, i typically use way too many pots, pans and utensils and sometimes tend to skip instructions. (i actually made hard boiled eggs and set the smoke detectors off.) anyway, the other night i made cheeseburger pie and forgot to precook the meat. i woke up the next morning [...]

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writes chris in riverside, california: “my friend eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening.  he [...]

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so, i pretty much have a policy of not posting notes submitted by the people who wrote them. i made an exception for this one because i think the really passive-aggressive part of the story is the behavior that inspired it. you might disagree. nonetheless — on to the backstory, from an anonymous dad in [...]

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writes our anonymous submitter: “i’m the oldest of four girls, none of whom are living at home. in fact, we’re all currently living in different states. my mom resents the fact that we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives living under her roof. on mother’s day she screened my call, then mass-texted [...]

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a busy working mom in austin, texas got this little love note on her blackberry from her sixteen-year-old son. (michael is his friend, by the way,  not the craft store.)

in the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. total bluff!
related: friends don’t lie 2 friends

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writes our anonymous submitter: “unable to visit my mother last year for mother’s day, my partner and i sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. this is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”

the final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. here’s [...]

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writes halley in idaho: “yeahhh, that’s my mom and my grandpa right there. (this is what happens when old people join facebook.)”

related: busted by facebook
extra credit: facebook embroidery

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“my co-worker had a ‘meet our bundle of joy’ party in a common space of his apartment building,” says our anonymous submitter in new york city, and these notes were peppered throughout the space.
he adds: “not only did i opt out of ‘touching’ their baby, i also passed on digging into the bowl of ruffles.”

meanwhile, [...]

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amy spotted this attached to a mailbox in monroe, north carolina. writes amy:  “i have no idea which flower it was (there were many that were still left on the porch), but i was impressed by the effort the victim took with this note — it was written on poster board and left up for [...]

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sarah from san fran was taking a little stroll in berkeley, california last december when she saw a house that clearly belonged to the “more is more” school of holiday decorating.
you know the type: “giant candy canes, red bows, lights, even one of those life-sized plastic snow globes that blows confetti snow all around inside [...]

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jeff in grand blanc, michigan says one of his friends found this note on her bed one day when she came home from school. (and no, you can’t go live there.)

related: passive (voice) abuse

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for their daughter’s first birthday, mr. and mrs. schmidt decided it would be fun to throw a casual little backyard get-together at their home in rochester, minnesota.
like the good church-going minnesotans they are, the schmidts sent out this e-mail invite to their small-ish congregation of about 200 people, expecting maybe 20 or 30 to stop [...]

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