Writes Josh in St. Louis: “In our university’s paper, during the first semester, parents can send in notes for their kids away at college to read. Most parents put something sweet, happy, and uplifting — ‘We love you, good luck, hope you’re well,’ that kind of thing.”  Josh’s parents, meanwhile…

related: No money, no trophy

One lazy Sunday, when our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “At first I thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. But then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

And yet, as many questions as these notes raise, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever Keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

Here, Keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

Then, evidently quite pleased with herself, Keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

related: to have and to hold

Writes Justin in Iowa: “This was written by a coworker of mine last winter, and covers three sides of the tissue box. The tissues are long gone, but the box was apparently worth saving, and remains on the desk five months later.”

The full text: I had a cold/cough & I decided to buy some Puffs kleenex w/ lotion. Believe it or not, they’re not cheap so I’m not sharing. But hey, they still have some at the store so you could always go buy your own you know. Seriously, only because these are a little costly I’m not sharing, otherwise, you’d be all good. But again, they’re not CHEAP! How would you feel if I used up all of your “whatever”? B/c my last box… OMG! got used up so fast & it wasn’t even by me! I was so hot about it, and I know you can afford it b/c I can. I know you’re not broke b/c you work the same place I do, am I right or am I right?

related: suck on this

Our anonymous submitter in Ontario, Canada found this note in the office lunch area. Apparently, the water in the office cooler had been going like crazy until the new pay-per-sip policy was enacted.

“While people were willing to pay,” our submitter says, “whoever was changing the bottles was not doing it as often as before the charges began, and we were all getting annoyed as the cooler was empty more often than not. The sign also kept disappearing. This new sign was put up earlier this week, and the post-it appeared a few days later.”

(I’m still hung up on “people were willing to pay.” I mean, yes, we’re in the middle of a recession. And yes, it’s Canadian funny money. Still.)

related: So…the water cooler’s hosting rainbow parties again?

Sigh. Half the people in your department just got pink-slipped, your 401(k) is worth shit, and now, just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…they’re coming for your muffin, too.

All in the name of shareholder value!

(Leaked by Sayf in Greenwich, Connecticut.)

related: Lean cuisine
extra credit: Morgan Stanley cancels Christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]

From Sasha in New York: evidence that the financial crisis has begun to trickle down to Joe Six-Pack.

related: Desperate Times

Writes Harry in New York: “My roomie sent me this e-mail two weeks after telling me I need to move out.  I guess it’s a case of retroactive passive-aggression on my part.”

In his own defense, Harry adds, “the ‘light’ is a nightlight and the ‘AC’ is a window fan.”

related: Some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking

Lindsey in Scottsdale, Arizona was less than pleased to find this post-it from her roommate when she stepped into the shower one morning. “There’s only three of us in the apartment, so it’s not hard to ask either of us,” she says. “And for the record, I’ve never used her stuff!”

related: Clarifying motion #2
extra credit: When in doubt, pout: 7 passive-aggressive roommate movies [flixster.com]