Despite the logo on this breakroom note, Nikki in Fresno doesn’t work at Starbucks. (She just wishes she does.)

related: Be curtius

“A few years back I was living in a halfway house in Canberra where theft from the communal kitchen was a common problem,” writes Alex in Australia. “One morning we woke to discover that the fridge had gone missing.” (The coffee in question was stolen from a cupboard, but apparently the owner thought removing the fridge was the best form of attack.)

The fridge incident went unresolved for many months, Alex says, because none of the residents could be bothered to move it back inside…and nobody had $3 to spare. In fact, he says, no one ever seemed all too concerned about the whole thing, explaining, “because we spent most of our money on vice, we had no food to put in the fridge anyway.”

Eventually (long after aAex moved out) the fridge was declared a traffic hazard, and a charity took it away.

related: Um, Rene Hall?

Writes an anonymous social networker in Gainesville, Florida: “This guy and his (ex) roommate are friends of mine on Facebook, and they’ve been bickering back and forth for months now, airing their grievances for everyone to see.”

The girl eventually moved out, our submitter says, but it seems like maybe — just maybe — she left some unfinished business behind.

related: Thou shalt honor thy Facebook newsfeed, and keep it holy

“This is from my shrink’s office,” explains our anonymous submitter in Wisconsin. “Ironically, I was going to them to help me resolve issues with my spouse’s passive-aggressive tendencies.”

Can’t you just feel the repressed anger in the sudden drop-off in punctuation?  (After all, if you’re not gonna use three exclamation points, why bother?)

related: perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

Ellen in San Francisco says this note is but the latest development in what has become a toilet paper-thin relationship with her passive-aggressive roommate. It started two months ago, she says, when her roommate “decided after six months of sharing that I was no longer allowed to use her toilet paper. I should mention that she never once asked me to chip in for toilet paper, and I never really had an opportunity to buy more because she bought it in bulk and we always had a huge supply.”

Ellen obliged “until this morning, when nature called and I had just run out.” When Ellen got home, this work of art (my favorite line: “now that we’ve settled this”) was waiting for her.

Adds Ellen: “Funnier still is that this roommate freaked out on another roommate for leaving a note. She yelled at her, ‘If you have a problem with me, talk to me, don’t leave me a note. Be an adult about it!’ Nice to see she followed her own advice.”

related: it always comes down to the toilet paper

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work as a payment processor for a local ambulance company. I see lots of notes scribbled on bills, but this one was a first. At least he/she is honest! ”

related: three cents for the saliva

While you were drunk-texting your latest Eugene Mirman sighting to all your pals, more industrious folk like Bryan from Minneapolis,  Betsy from L.A., and Adele from Montreal were documenting the comedic gold being served up by Austin bartenders.

related: Reporting not-exactly-live from SXSW

Before I pass out, I bring you a few of my favorite more-aggressive-than-passive notes from the music clubs of Austin.

First, from Scoot Inn…

More bouncer sass from (I think) Beerland…

And lastly, from Emo’s…

related: I used to be your biggest fan