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Entries Tagged as 'money'

P.S. Bacon is life

September 1st, 2007 · 200 Comments

The Coast newspaper in Halifax recently invited its readers to share their “passive-aggressive roommate tales.” (Gee, what a novel idea!)

My favorite part:


Excerpts from a 34-point note sent to a former roommate:

2. Your rent was always late and it was not paid in full.

4. You used the dishes and baking ware that we provided to you and often did not clean them, left them to ruin, or left them for someone else to clean because you were too busy rushing out the door to go party when you had all day off. If you have all day off, do something more than try to find someone, anyone to hang out with that night that just so happens to have a car and is willing to pick your lazy ass up.

22. Your friends have no right to use and mess up our bathroom. You have your own, it’s part of your room. Also, if they are going to be putting fruit remains in our garbage can, have them removed before they rot. While we’re on the subject…

23. Fruit flies. Need I say more?

25. We were quite upset that you didn’t buy us anything for Christmas worth more than $3. It’s not the money really, but $1.50 each, that’s just insulting. We noticed that week you borrowed money from your current fling to go out and party. I hope you did buy a self-help book at Chapters like you said you were planning.

29. When people have to work very early in the morning, like at 5am, it’s not very nice to have your loud-mouthed boyfriend chatting with you all night, take it somewhere else. Like his mom’s house where he still lives…

30. The clogged toilet thing, you got off easy on that one. Plumbing and property damage is a lot more important than rushing out the door to hang out with your friends. Prioritize.

33. The comment you made about being the type of person who can’t live with someone is something you should take serious consideration of. How are you going to continue living your faux Sex and the City lifestyle if your goal in life is to find a man you can live with, and if you are not the type of person that can actually live with someone?” B.M.

Full story here; another choice excerpt after the jump.

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Tags: bullet points · Canada · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · food · Halifax · money · revenge · roommates

if you can afford $10 worth of flair…

August 28th, 2007 · 197 Comments

Says “anony-scrooge”:

My office is ridiculous about cards and donations. The smallest of occasions warrants cards, money, balloons, flowers, a singing telegram, etc. Last Christmas was no exception. By mid-December, we had been asked for no less than $150 each in contributions for this and that.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was the sudden appearance of a Christmas ‘adopt a family’ program, and the family selected was one of our employees who had very recently fell asleep at the wheel and crashed his car. It was all very tragic (sarcasm), but many people drew the line at putting more money in the hat to replace his giant mystery machine van. So almost nobody gave. Well, somebody was pissed…

if you can afford $10 worth of flair...

Tags: e-mail · money · office · party planning committee

Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)

August 14th, 2007 · 202 Comments

Mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in Long Island City, Queens last spring.

movin' out (anthony's song)

Anthony left a note on the door…

left a note on the door

Saving his pennies for someday…

savin' his pennies for someday

You oughta know by now

You oughta know by now

Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

working too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

And it seems such a waste of time

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

And it seems such a waste of time

But she’s not movin’ out.

You can pay Uncle Sam with the overtime

Tags: landlords and property managers · money · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · most popular notes of 2007 · moving/not moving · Queens · questionable logic · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police

Some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking

August 8th, 2007 · 108 Comments

Jenn in San Francisco received this little from a then-roommate who she lived with for a year but barely ever saw or spoke to. Says Jenn, “She was rarely seen outside the confines of her own room and seemed to prefer communicating electronically and then, only when absolutely necessary. So you can imagine, she probably stewed on the issue for a very long time. ” (Click the image to enlarge.)

some creative brainstorming and flexible thinking

Adds Jenn: Guess how this flexible-thinking roommate paid her bills? “By conducting CULTURAL SENSITIVITY TRAINING COURSES TO CORPORATE EMPLOYEES.”

Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · energy usage · lighting · money · roommates · San Francisco · smiley · temperature

Tantamount to storage

August 3rd, 2007 · 123 Comments

I’m just gonna let Ben from D.C. set this one up:

Last October, I moved from one apartment to another on fairly short notice. The kid I found on Craigslist to take my spot really wanted to move in a few days early, which was incredibly inconvenient for me. However, I agreed, so I spent most of Halloween weekend moving my stuff out. The one thing I couldn’t move was my futon, because it wouldn’t fit on top of my car. I figured he’d give me a little leeway though, since I’d done him a favor, and I came back to pick it up November 10. A week later I came home to find this amazing passive-aggressive e-mail from him:

I have a concern about the removal of your futon.

Tags: a little uptight · Craigslist · D.C. · e-mail · money · moving/not moving · spelling and grammar police

Martyr complex much?

July 19th, 2007 · 79 Comments

Sometimes, a little complaining is necessary.

I don't complain

(Submitted by Jeremiah in Little Rock, Arkansas.)


Tags: Arkansas · cleaning · dishes · dogs · martyr complex · money · roommates · shit

No money, no trophy

July 12th, 2007 · 69 Comments

This exercise in mass shaming is brought to us by Rocky in San Diego, who notes: “These are 5-year-olds playing T-ball.”

The players listed below still owe

related: A new tactic for Pre-K school fundraising…public shaming?

Tags: bold underlined italics · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · Moms & Dads · money · public shaming · San Diego · unnecessary "quotation marks"

We ALL live here

June 26th, 2007 · 91 Comments

Explains James, “My cool roommate tries to do something nice for the house, and then jerk roommate writes this.”

In the future, please consult with us before making house purchases. We ALL live here. Thx.

Seriously, Team Cormac all the way.

Tags: CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · just an asshole · lighting · money · roommates · thx · whiteboard

The thoughts that count

June 25th, 2007 · 87 Comments

An anonymous Brooklyn mom sends in this choice — dare we say priceless — example of Park Slope’s well-documented mama drama.

We really do appreciate you handling the end of year gift collection and we know it can be a thankless task. I must say, however, that  I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the emphasis on how much money was collected and from whom. I thought the whole idea of giving a gift was that we gave from the heart, no matter the amount. Isn't that what we teach our children? Suddenly it feels like you are trying to shame those of us who may not have given the most for whatever out personal reasons not the less of which could be financial. Please let's not continue this embarrassment any longer. We should rethink the process for future gift-giving.

related: No money, no trophy

Tags: "helpful" advice · Brooklyn · e-mail · Moms & Dads · money · Park Slope · public shaming · rebuttals

Letter from a narcotic

June 12th, 2007 · 52 Comments

This ranks right up there with the notice from an aspiring personal-injury lawyer as one of my favorite roommate notes of all time.

Gillian in Albany, New York points out that the malapropism here (“I am the narcotic one”) was actually deliciously appropriate, because “she cleaned exactly like cocaine.”

Obviously things have been weird with us lately and I have a hard time talking to us and I don't know the right way to approach you or how to say what I want to say to you without hopefully not hurting your feelings. But we're both mature individuals, so I figured the best way for me to communicate what I have to say to you would be through a letter.

related: This room is protected by the Constitution

Tags: cleaning · college life · fun with malapropisms · garbage · money · New York · roommates · runaway run-on sentences