Belinda in Tennessee says her six-year-old daughter wrote this note “after I refused to let her try to glue a bouncy ball back onto the elastic of the paddle toy it had broken off of.”

Translation (for those who don’t speak six-year-old):
Mom (sigh) I really love you but why do you ruin each day of my life. I’ll be on the front porch if you want to talk with me.

Meanwhile, redditor thinkboxutah’s 7-year-old son put this together after getting grounded.

related: Just…poop.

Erin in Los Angeles says it all started with a simple “No staples, please.” Then the whole office got involved.

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

Our submitter in Vancouver, Washington says this note was slipped under her door after her daughter was sent to her room following a disagreement about doing the dishes. Adds Mom: “I like that the poop is just there — not telling me I smell like poop, or to eat poop. Just…poop.”

related: Buckets of my tears

Kay spotted these signs while shopping for CDs at a store named JB Hi-Fi in Melbourne. “I personally agree with everything said on there,” Kay says, “but the two 17-year-olds who brought the note to my attention clearly didn’t. (One of them actually said ‘Who the fuck is Johnny Rotten?’) I thought it was priceless.”

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

Spotted in the reception area of a doctors’ office:

related: Hard Candy

Here it is: a look back at your favorite notes of 2012, from heartbroken kids to self-righteous vegans and everywhere in between. (Just click on any of the notes to see the original post, with context.)

But first — drumroll please — our two leading candidates vying for the title of 2012 douchecanoe of the year!

Of course, you could also vote for a third party candidate. Which write-ins are missing from the race? Cast your votes in the comments!

[Read more →]

I’ve spent most of the day curled up reading John Irving’s latest, In One Person (“a compelling novel of desire, secrecy, and sexual identity.”) And yet, since stumbling across this novella — from an office fridge in Maryland — I’ve had but one phrase echoing in my head: “We are not so unalike, [you and I]. I, too, have a deep love of salad.”

related: “Someday when you’re wondering why you’re alone…”

Our submitter in Texas — where we are currently experiencing out annual three days of winter — spotted this note posted yesterday on the office fridge. “I know who ate the ‘chili,’” our submitter claims, “because I heard her comment on how she knew it must be organic because the true owner was a hippie.”

related: Don’t get mad, get creative!

extra credit: The Original Fridge Locker

A certain supervisor thought his assistant, Sandra, was attracting too much idle chatter from other people in the office, so he made this framed notice for her desk. (Because that’s not creepy at all.)

“No word yet on how many contributions he’s received,” our submitter says.

related: The Man is always watching

Thx Sandra!!!

Writes our submitter, Iris: “East London’s Brick Lane is the city’s hipster epicenter. A nearby pub had clearly had enough of being flooded by ironic facial hair and cardigans.”

related: Unattended children will be shot.

extra credit: It’s Movember!