Entries Tagged as 'most popular notes of 2009'
As previously discussed, this hamfisted attempt at wit remains the scourge of retail establishments the world over.
As it turns out, the umpteen-million variations are even more hilariously clever!
For example, while the original version merely confuses a lot of people, this one just seems like a bizarre incentive for child abandonment.
Quickly, however, things start to get very un-p.c. (And also…very creepy.)
This version, in fact, is almost as popular as the original. (Other examples here and here and here and here and here and…is that a machete?)
Child slavery? Now that’s comedy gold. But really, why stop there? Why not “unattended children will be trafficked into child prostitution”? “Unattended children will be sold to pedophiles”? Or anally probed? or…
related: the “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry
Tags: kids · kinda creepy · most popular notes of 2009 · oh no you didn't · retail hell
Another sign of the times: Nick in Tampa, Florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. And yet, Nick says, “when they’re left out unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them.”
Eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good theft-deterrent…which inspired another coworker to quote scripture in protest of the new drink policy.
related: no, He uses vaseline
Tags: Diet Coke · Jesus · most popular notes of 2009 · office · oh snap · stealing · Tampa
Seriously, how much do you want to _____ this guy in the _____ right now? (you fill in the blank)
Next year, I think this guy and this girl should collaborate on a gigantic fucking birthday pity party.
related: you know, I’m getting input here that is relatively hostile
extra credit: Facebook is for narcissists
Tags: birthday · Facebook · guilt trip · just not that into you · most popular notes of 2009
Who knew? Apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.
From a hospital (!) in Washington, D.C.
[Read more →]
Tags: bathroom · grow up · hygiene · most popular notes of 2009 · nose-picking · office · that's disgusting
Even more dangerous than friending your parents on Facebook? Friending a) your boss and b) the cubicle-mate you kinda can’t stand.
And Exhibit d) (via “the Internet”)
related: Busted by facebook
extra credit: Study says Facebook is like, totally ruining your life …and gonna get you fired [mashable]
Tags: Facebook · most popular notes of 2009 · office · oh snap
As always, Facebook users are keepin’ it classy.
related: Tant pis, mon amie
extra credit: STFU, Marrieds
Tags: California · Facebook · frenemies · mean girls · most popular notes of 2009 · sad face · smiley · weddings and bridezillas
Our anonymous submitter lives in a university flat in the U.K. with four other guys. “Three of us (myself, an American, and a Brit) always take out the garbage and recycling when it’s our turn, but the two other international students seem to think it’s somehow beneath them. There must have been some unpleasantness while i was away for Easter break, because I came home to find this note stuck to the kitchen door, courtesy of my American flatmate.”
Adds our submitter: “I particularly like his choice of symbols to emphasize America as a ruling power: the stars and stripes, a cheeseburger, and Superman.” (And then, of course, there’s the note’s tone — remarkably in line with American foreign policy!)
Happy 4th of July, everyone!
related: just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad
Tags: Americans abroad · college life · misplaced patriotism · most popular notes of 2009 · recycling · roommates · U.K.
Presenting the winner of the creative spelling (and spacing) of the year award, spotted by Rob in the recently-painted elevator of his Brooklyn apartment building. It has a lovely lyric quality to it, no?
related: Your are welcome to our home
Tags: bizarro spacing · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · elevator · graffiti · landlords and property managers · most popular notes of 2009 · now that's management · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · the po-po · your/you're
Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).
related: P.S. bacon is life
extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McSweeneys]
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Tags: clip art catastrophe · Columbus · food · most popular notes of 2009 · office · smartass
If you’re looking for a few “free tips” about online dating, our anonymous submitter could give you a few.
related: Really though — carnations?
Tags: just not that into you · most popular notes of 2009 · online dating