Entries Tagged as 'most popular notes of 2010'
Frustrated by fridge thieves who continually ignore your polite (or not-so-polite) requests to keep their paws to themselves? Don’t get mad — get creative! You could end up with something so crazy it might actually work…that is, if it doesn’t totally backfire.
You could go for the classic bluff, with the hopes that you’ll inspire just enough self-doubt to encourage the thief to go for the next lunch bag over.
Or you could hold out hope that the thief in question is either very lazy, very stupid…
…or that he or she appreciates your twisted sense of humor enough to take mercy on your pathetic self.
Or you could just bring this for lunch. (Somehow, I think this would have been safe, even without the note.)
Thanks to Theresa in Birmingham, Alabama; Stacey in Manchester, New Hampshire; Alissa in Memphis, Tennessee; and Marianne in Dublin, Ireland for submitting!
related: That’s breastmilk!
Tags: beverages · cheese · fish · food · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing · tea · water
If you’d like to join a vigilante punctuation posse or a grassroots typography militia, Washington State might be the place for you.
In one Seattle suburb, for example, an underground group has targeted a certain “JS,” who sources say “has some serious control/micromanagement issues, and enjoys flaunting his power to tell people what to do a liiiittle too much. He also tends to find nasty ways to get revenge on people who contradict him.”
Elsewhere in Seattle, “office professionalism” seems to have no bearing on freedom of speech…as long as you use the right typeface, of course.
related: Completely valid rebuttals
Tags: "too inside fucking baseball" · apostrophe catastrophe · awk abbrev · Comic Sans Alert · Helsinki · most popular notes of 2010 · music · not-so-veiled threats
You’re a zookeeper. You’re sick of answering the same damn question all day long. How do you handle it?
Well, there’s the PC approach…
The pedantic approach…
And then there’s my personal favorite, the German approach.
(Thanks to Gina in Cincinnati, Sarah in Los Angeles, and Andrea in Berlin for their submissions!)
related: Don’t die; it’s expensive
Tags: animal welfare · Berlin · Deutsche · Kentucky · most popular notes of 2010 · New Jersey
Jane in Boston says this note appeared on Tomio’s bedroom door, at cat’s-eye level. “Given that I’m pretty sure cats can’t read, it’s the ultimate passive-aggressive sentiment,” Jane says, “but a cat shitting on your bed is pretty passive aggressive, too. What a tangled web we weave.”
Meanwhile, a submitter in Cornwall, England spotted this note (again, at pet’s-eye level) on the front door of a house. “It was unclear what the dog had done, how the notewriter expected the dog to read this, or how ‘Diane’ was filming the dog,” our submitter says. “There was no sign of a camera.”
And yet, it’s this commandment —posted by a neighbor of Marissa in San Francisco — that tickles me the most.
UPDATE: A bonus note (via Anthonio in Seattle), from…Dirt.
related: Excuse me, sir? I think you’ve dropped something.
Tags: Boston · cats · dogs · most popular notes of 2010 · San Francisco · Seattle · shit · signed with love · U.K. · you know who you are
No, not the World Cup — we’re talkin’ good ol’ American college football. After all, as the homepage of the The Huntsville (Alabama) Times will tell you, kickoff is only a short 68 days away!
If you live in a town like Huntsville, Alabama, it’s beyond the scope of most folks’ imaginations that one simply wouldn’t care about something as earth-shatteringly important as football. As our submitter, a reporter at The Huntsville Times, explains, “We’re one hell of a football nation here — you either root for the University of Alabama Crimson Tide or Auburn University.”
So, our submitter concludes, “I’m guessing this letter comes from an Auburn fan.”
UPDATE: Another postcard-to-the-editor from the Huntsville Times’ number #1 reader!
related: A day in the life of a crank
extra credit: “The Death of Print Journalism”
Tags: Alabama · CAPS LOCK · football · most popular notes of 2010 · newspaper
Juliet from Los Angeles came upon this sign near the summit of a 12-km hike up Turrialba Volcano, in Costa Rica. “As I stared down into giant crater of the active volcano, dotted with sulfur pools, I realized the sign was right. Swimming in those pools probably wasn’t worth the expense.”
The dryly practical approach seems to be a popular one at tourist locations around the world — especially zoos, such as this one on Langkawi Island:
Meanwhile, this resort in the Bahamas adds its own whimsical twist:
related: You don’t need a cell phone to talk to God
Tags: Americans abroad · animal welfare · Bahamas · Costa Rica · Espanol · Malaysia · most popular notes of 2010 · smoking · that's irresponsible · tourists
So, which of these warnings would most readily scare you into compliance?
Exhibit a) from an alley in York, U.K.
Exhibit b) from a sharehouse in Australia
or Exhibit c) spotted by Robert on a film shoot in Los Angeles?
related: Wishin’ and hopin’
Tags: Australia · CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · God · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police
Emily says her parents in Massachusetts recently dug out this note from the family archives, written when Emily was six. (She’s now a high school English teacher.)
“None of us have any recollection of the circumstances surrounding it,” Emily says, “but my mother must have done something pretty awful to warrant such a melodramatic note, my six-year-old rage boiling just below the surface.”
Adds Emily: “Given my use of the word ‘steepping,’ I also apparently confused my parents with bags of tea.”
related: My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Parents
Tags: kids · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · Mother-daughter notes · p.s.
Our Bay-Area submitter returned from lunch one day to find this note from an anonymous concerned coworker.
“I’ll admit that I’ve gained about 15 pounds recently,” she says. However, “At 4’11 and normally around 95 pounds, even with the extra 15 I’m still within an acceptable weight range for my height.” But the real kicker, says our submitter?
“I’m also 5 months pregnant. I just haven’t made a big deal about it by talking incessantly about it or demanding special treatment like I’m God’s gift to the world just because I got myself knocked up.”
(So, uh, I think that’s a no, she won’t be seeing you there.)
related: I am beautiful, not matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)
Tags: "helpful" advice · Bay Area · hey fatty · most popular notes of 2010 · office · oh no you didn't · preggers · smiley · the best of intentions
…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.
Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.
…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).
Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)
And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.
So really, why bother with an explanation at all?
related: Closed for good! Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it.
Tags: "customer service" · bar · don't blame us · drugs · most popular notes of 2010 · Norway · Ohio · raging against the machine · restaurant · retail hell · spelling and grammar police · Texas · Toronto