Entries Tagged as 'most popular notes of 2011'

How many times did this have to happen before they put up a sign?

June 8th, 2011 · 70 Comments

From a convenience store in Florida:

WE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT MONEY OUT OF UNDERGARMENTS.

A petting zoo in Virginia:

WARNING: Please do not feed animals from your mouth.

And a U.S. Army post in Washington State:

ATTENTION Do not pass body fluids into drinking fountain. It is a health hazard!

(Thanks to Nicolette, Gaby, and Kharissa for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · bodily fluids · hygiene · money · most popular notes of 2011 · that's unsanitary · WTF?

Teacher Appreciation: Letters from First Graders

June 6th, 2011 · 23 Comments

I happen to have a lot of friends who are teachers, and it kills me when they say things like, “Oh, I confiscated the funniest passive-aggressive note today from a kid in my class. I wish I could give it to you, but I don’t want to lose my job.” (Of course, given the state of education funding in Texas, that’s not mere paranoia talking.)

Luckily, there are enough self-aware parents out there like Carmen (a.k.a. “drunk mommy”) to fill the kids say the dardnest fuckin’ shit category of notes that some of you love and some of you can’t stand.

One of those parents is Sheila in Indiana. Her first grader, Andrew, “has had a rough year,” Sheila says, “and is in trouble for talking too much every single day.” When she gave him a card to sign for Teacher Appreciation Day, this is what he wrote.

I am sorry about the school year! Andrew

Meanwhile, Jessie in Utah says that for teacher appreciation day at her first grader’s school, the kids were all asked to write something they appreciated about their teacher on paper butterflies displayed on the door and wall outside the classroom. The anonymous nature of the project seems to have yielded mixed results.

Thank you for yelling at us. I love you. Your a great teacher. Your the best teacher in the world, Hail to Mrs. [Redacted], Long live the Queen. Blah blah.

To wrap things up, I just had to pull out this first grader’s letter from the archives. (And no, like many notes on this site, it isn’t passive-aggressive — or even mean-spirited — just adorably bizarre.)

Dear Mr. [Redacted],  You were the best teacher a student could ever have!  I love my class too!  I am sad that I'm going to second grade.  If I had a choice between you getting killed and my favorite tree getting chopped down, I would choose my favorite tree getting chopped down.

related: (Not) so nice, (Not) so smart

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2011 · schools & teachers

Need another reason to skip the tanning bed?

June 1st, 2011 · 120 Comments

Well, besides that whole skin cancer thing, there’s the fact that tanning booths — like  thrift-store fitting rooms — seem to bring out the animal in everyone. And that’s probably not the kind of “golden glow” you were aiming for, right?

Exhibit A) From Margo in Indiana:

Health Notice Toilet Issues The Tanning Room is not a Restroom!  It is extremely dangerous for A Total Tan employees to clean up trash cans and under rugs that people have used instead of the public toilet. This will no longer be tolerated!  A Total Tan has a computer record of everyone using each tanning room. In the future, using the tanning room as a toilet will not be tolerated. This will be very embarrassing to you!  It is not embarrassing for us to restart your bed if you need to stop before or during your session. Simply put on your clothes and ask the employee to stop your session.

Exhibit B) From Lisa in Ohio, an ominous threat indeed:

These cans are for trash only. We inspect between each visit. For everything else we have bathrooms. Violators will have their tanning rights terminated.

Exhibit C) From Emily in England:

NOTICE  We have a toilet for your convenience.  Persons found urinating in the bins will barred from these premises.

Exhibit D) From Ann in Arkansas:

Use our bathroom facilities! This is not the wilderness.

And Exhibit E) From an anonymous fake-baker in Louisiana:

The trash can is not a toilet. For those of you who have not 'peed' in it, Thanks! For the one who did; What were you thinking? Tabatha

related: When nature calls

extra credit: GTK is the new GTL

Tags: hygiene · most popular notes of 2011 · piss · that's disgusting · that's trashy · that's unsanitary

Hey, look! A coffee pot!

May 13th, 2011 · 80 Comments

This isn’t the first “coffee-maker etiquette” flowchart I’ve seen, but it is the most aesthetically pleasing.

Says Sarah in St. Louis: “The IT department in our office is notorious for drinking the last of the coffee without making more.” (Note the subtle “I heart C++” mug.) Apparently, one of her co-workers thought breaking things down into engineer-speak might help.

Hey, look! A coffee pot!

Meanwhile, in Toledo, Ohio…a variation tailored to a slightly different audience:

What would Jesus do...if there were only this much coffee left in the pot? *He would brew more!

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

Tags: coffee · etiquette · flow chart · Jesus · most popular notes of 2011 · office · St. Louis · Toledo · visual aids

Warning: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you.

May 10th, 2011 · 108 Comments

I don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict myself.)

The Beverage [sic] you are about to consume doesn't belong to you :( Are we playing finders keepers I think NOT? Don't I look delicious? Too bad...get your own :) OMG! Did...you...buy me?! ... NO. Hi! I'm not yours :) PUT ME DOWN!

Dear Diet Coke Thief, I understand your sentiment. Diet Coke IS the nectar of the gods, and I can see how one might think that taking someone else's cold drink would be fairly innocuous, but in truth, it's not. Frankly it's crushing. Please stop. Sincerely, A fellow Diet Coke enthusiast & seemingly, your Coke supplier :)

Further deficiencies in the Diet Coke supply will be remedied by waterboarding and dismemberment of the Management.

related: Enough with the diet sodas!

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Diet Coke · fridge · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · sad face · smiley · stealing

A Mother’s Day Report Card

May 5th, 2011 · 37 Comments

Jill from Baltimore is in her early 30s now, so she has enough distance from her childhood self to laugh at the passive-aggressiveness of this Mother’s Day card she made when she 11 or 12. “I love that I used Mother’s Day as an opportunity to not only tell my mom how great she is, but also to not-so-subtly point out her shortcomings.”

Report Card For: Mom Helping me with Math homework - Average Playing Tennis - Excellent Cleaning Laundry - Excellent Being a Mom - Excellent!!! Cooking Dinner - N/A Shopping for my clothes - Great Taking me Places - Great

(If you were wondering about the “NA,” Dad did the cooking.)

related: Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!

Tags: Baltimore · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes

So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

May 4th, 2011 · 199 Comments

Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”

But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!

[Prof. redacted],  I showed up to class today and no one was there. Where was class?!?! You need to make announcement when you are changing the location of the class!!! No one likes to have to dig your syllabus out every day or check their e-mail for your last minute changes. I DID show up today and you have to count my paper as ON TIME. Please email me with an explanation.

Seriously, kids today(!!!)

related: The “feeling of failing” debacle

extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]

Tags: college life · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2011 · North Dakota · spelling and grammar police · that's disrespectful

Mean Mr. Mustard

April 22nd, 2011 · 97 Comments

Abbey Road Studios is a must-see on almost any Beatles aficionado’s tour of London. Once there, a curious sort of tourist delirium seems to take hold. People feel absolutely compelled to recreate the iconic album cover, in the same way that visitors to Pisa just have to get a shot of of themselves holding up the leaning tower.

The only hitch? That famous zebra crossing actually goes across a fully functioning road — one with cars and buses holding people who, one would assume, have better things to do than watch you fiddle with your zoom lens.

Rachel in London was therefore more a little amused to see this note from a fellow local amongst the assorted “I <3 Paul” and “I am the Walrus”-type scrawls that cover the walls near the crossing. ”I love the drawing, as it’s so true,” Rachel says. “It’s just a crossing people!!! It’s not like the Beatles are coming back to see you do this!”

Hey! You need to sort out the way you walk across Abbey Road you ridiculous people. (Yeah! have some respect!)

Interestingly, while the Beatles themselves aren’t likely to be watching, thanks to the existence of the (strangely hypnotic) 24-hour Abbey Road webcam, you can actually watch this idiocy as it happens — over and over and over again.

related: Meanwhile, on Portabello Road

extra credit: Photoclichés.com

Tags: etiquette · London · most popular notes of 2011 · that's disrespectful · tourists

All together now: please don’ climb da tree!

April 21st, 2011 · 88 Comments

Our submitter’s friend in Columbia, Missouri found this on the ground beneath a tree yesterday, “and she couldn’t just leave it there. It really was the perfect tree for climbing.”

(And the accompanying note really does have the perfect rhythm for a call-a-response revival stomp, no? I’d love to see what the Gregory Brothers could do with this…)

Please Do Not Climb On The Tree Even if you climbed on it last year Please Do Not Climb On The Tree Even though it is a great tree for climbing Please Do Not Climb On The Tree Even though it is ok with your parents Please Do Not Climb On The Tree Even though you are good at climbing Please Do Not Climb On The Tree Even though no one may be watching Please Do Not Climb On The Tree Thank You for Not Climbing on the Tree!

UPDATE: The Sneaky Mister has made my year!

related: Grow some thicker bark, why donttcha?

Tags: Columbia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · gloriously redundant · Missouri · most popular notes of 2011

Your not narmal, Sneeky

April 17th, 2011 · 115 Comments

Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.

Your not Narmal, Sneeky

So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)

related: If it’s on Jersey Shore, it’s not coming through the door

Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · crazypants · Jacksonville · most popular notes of 2011 · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · WTF? · your/you're