Tom’s daughter, Meg, was upset that her mother made her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so she wrote this note to inform her mom of her “punishment.”

Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, six-year-old Elizabeth tried a similar approach. Her parents were so amused they’ve held on the note for decades since then.

When I have kids, I really hope I can manipulate them into this sort of thinking…

related: Buckets of my Tears

Four roommates, a half-gallon of stolen ice cream, and 9 months worth of unflushed toilets went into the making of these two flowcharts.

related: Hover & Flow(chart)

Amy in Ohio found this delightful diatribe while browsing through area garage sale listings on Craigslist. “Fortunately I snapped a screenshot, because this gem was soon flagged for removal,” she says. “My favorite part: ‘…nothing but ignorance!’”

related: Some advice on holding a garage sale

Fun fact: according to a Pew Research report, 30% of young adults have pretended to be using their phone in order to avoid interacting with the people around them.

If you’re one of them, here’s a head’s up: Your awkward penguin moves aren’t gonna help you at Gestalt Haus in San Francisco.

Adds our submitter, Carly: “Even though I bought plenty of beer while I was there, I still felt like I needed to make eye contact with the bartender when coming out of the pisser. And that gets a little awkward after a while.”

related: Drip-dry only, ladies

Eerac and I met up in Barcelona last week, where we climbed lots and lots of stairs. The one time we didn’t, of course, the Metro station totally called us out.

Eric and I are still climbing stairs (now in Poland and Portugal, respectively), where we haven’t yet seen any similar signs. Back in the States, however, Christine in L.A. spotted this rather harsh version in the elevator of a 7-story university residence hall.

related: Buffalo, please use the elevator

Nicola in Edinburgh woke up and opened the shades one morning to discover this message from the flat directly across the street. “After all my flatmates were questioned about what they have been up to last night, we decided it must be the flat next to ours,” she says.

related: The Devil’s Orchestra

Well, this is a new one.

“Just…wow,” says our submitter in Springfield, Illinois. “I’ve never been told that I have to assess my the consistency of my fecal matter prior to it leaving my body.”

related: How you say diarrhea politely?

Ashley in Sheffield received this lovely belated birthday card from a neighbo(u)r.

(Nicely done, Laura.)

related: If you were the one who was so drunk or so stupid…