Entries Tagged as 'Most Popular Notes'

An open letter to the person who ate my yogurt

March 19th, 2012 · 128 Comments

Well done, Andy.

To the person that ate my Strawberry Chobani yogurt: MMMM, nom nom nom, it was probably pretty good, right? I specifically knew you'd like that flavor. I put it in the Ziploc bag for you on purpose so if it leaked in your backpack it wouldn't make a mess. I put it in the crisper drawer for you so it wouldn't get crushed, or, god forbid, somebody else see it and then snag it for a snag. You'd be so hungry if that happened. Greek yogurt is just delish, isn't it?

related: Yogurt thieves!

Tags: fridge · most popular notes of 2012 · sarcasm · TL;DR · yogurt

Your “constructive” criticism is a little off-putting

March 12th, 2012 · 67 Comments

This was the “constructive criticism” Peter received from a classmate on his latest creative writing assignment. (Doesn’t it make you really want to read the whole paper?)

This paper is very choppy and unclear. It is written more like a long winded rant in you exact manner of speaking than an essay. You tend to make run-on sentences and overuse commas, on top of including minute details which make the paper boring & dry, which is a bummer since the topic is interesting. You also tell it in a very arrogant manner, it seems like you think you're really cool for this. Try not to sound like you're such a special snowflake, it's very off-putting.

related: So you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement?”

 

Tags: college life · Iowa · most popular notes of 2012 · way harsh

Grow an orange tree and grow up.

March 8th, 2012 · 38 Comments

Oh goody, this argument again!

TOO MUCH NASTY COCA-COLA NOT ENOUGH OJ! O.J has been set free! Take a stab at it :) What? This is a Coke machine! Grow an orange tree and grow up. While we're all voicing our idiotic opinions, may I suggest that this machine carry booze? Think on it. 4LOCO mofo!

related: Enough with the fruit juices and diet sodas!

Tags: beverages · Coke · most popular notes of 2012 · note wars · vending machine drama

Debbie downed ’er

March 4th, 2012 · 53 Comments

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie…what are we going to do with you? Your coworkers seem a bit incensed.

Not Debbie's

Don’t worry, Deb — this one’s all yours

 

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · food · Hawaii · most popular notes of 2012 · office fridge

Sincerely, Commando

March 1st, 2012 · 51 Comments

“I love my neighbor’s passion,” says Del in Chicago. “This is totally something I would do.”

Hmm, Del. To which of  your two neighbors are you referring?

To the Fucking Asshole that stole all of my underwear: This is the 2nd time that this has happened. Yes, they are nice underwear, yes, they are expensive, but why can't you just go to Cram on Broadway and buy your own?  I am going to do everything in my power to find you, and I'm going to fuck your world up.  I am going to sand paper fist fuck your asshole.  Get ready for a world of pain mother fucker.  Sincerely, Commando

related: Panty raid!

Tags: Chicago · laundry · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · stealing

Rage Against the (Coffee) Machine

February 16th, 2012 · 77 Comments

Putting decaf in the regular coffee pot? Now that’s just evil taken a step too far.

To the person putting decaf coffee into the 'regular' coffee pot: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop putting decaf into the regular coffee pot now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, and I will find you. - Edin Good Luck!

The decaf’s response:

recent: The British version of the above note

Tags: coffee · Michigan · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · office

Meet the World’s Crankiest Roommate

February 9th, 2012 · 231 Comments

If the 21 notes you’ve already posted around the house haven’t made a difference…do you really think the 22nd is going to be the one that finally clicks? Just a thought!

The party stops as soon as you walk in

No one wants to walk in a pool when we're not in a pool

We're not trying to create a big foot

This isn't a closet

We don't want trash in our house

We don't house people who come from the bar

related: The Post-It Wars

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · dishes · money · most popular notes of 2012 · noise · Ontario · roommates · smoking

The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

February 8th, 2012 · 28 Comments

If only there were a simple solution to this problem…

PRINTER OUT OF TONER Please use another Printer that has Toner. Because this one doesn't. Don't bother complaining. There are other Printers with Toner.  The Splash one is rarely used nowadays. It's lonely. It has excess toner. This message is a waste of toner. PROCRASTINATION.

related: PC Load Letter?!

Tags: Houston · most popular notes of 2012 · office · the printer

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

February 5th, 2012 · 349 Comments

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Hi. I adopted a cat in November. Tried to maintain it on a vegan diet, but all the vets I saw say this is bad. I've decided I want to give it up and get a bunny. I posted a status on FB advertising it for adoption and no one responded. Really don't want it around me anymore. Since you have a primitive diet, would you mind adopting it?

 Sorry I don't like cats. Take it to a shelter.  Yeah, no. See, that's exactly what I'm trying to AVOID. Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?  They either already have pets or don't want any. Sorry.  Okay. Thanks for being super useful as always!

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

Tags: cats · frenemies · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2012 · self-righteous vegans · text message · Would you mind?

…and then there’s the glass half-full approach.

February 1st, 2012 · 47 Comments

There’s the typical New York City note…

"Please do not unplug the coffeemaker" "PLEASE DO NOT USE WHIMSICAL FONTS"

And then there’s the Willamette Valley way…

Well, at least it's not Papyrus.

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Tags: Comic Sans Alert · most popular notes of 2012 · New York · Oregon · smartass