Entries Tagged as 'Most Popular Notes'

Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?

February 5th, 2012 · 349 Comments

You might recall this epic note — the obnoxious vegan roommate who “forbade” her roommate from bringing animal products into the apartment. Our original submitter writes in to say that since that showdown, she decided to move out (in favor of a more omnivore-friendly living environment).

“After almost five months of zero communication,” she reports, “my ex-roomie started texting me out of nowhere. It appears her vegan fanaticism is still putting her at odds with others.”

Hi. I adopted a cat in November. Tried to maintain it on a vegan diet, but all the vets I saw say this is bad. I've decided I want to give it up and get a bunny. I posted a status on FB advertising it for adoption and no one responded. Really don't want it around me anymore. Since you have a primitive diet, would you mind adopting it?

 Sorry I don't like cats. Take it to a shelter.  Yeah, no. See, that's exactly what I'm trying to AVOID. Do any of your little meat-eating friends want a cat?  They either already have pets or don't want any. Sorry.  Okay. Thanks for being super useful as always!

related: My self-righteous vegan roommate

Tags: cats · frenemies · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2012 · self-righteous vegans · text message · Would you mind?

…and then there’s the glass half-full approach.

February 1st, 2012 · 47 Comments

There’s the typical New York City note…

"Please do not unplug the coffeemaker" "PLEASE DO NOT USE WHIMSICAL FONTS"

And then there’s the Willamette Valley way…

Well, at least it's not Papyrus.

related: Completely valid rebuttals

Tags: Comic Sans Alert · most popular notes of 2012 · New York · Oregon · smartass

Tangled

January 4th, 2012 · 242 Comments

Julie in Milwaukee has been trying to drag her nine-year-old daughter to get a haircut for ages. The day of the planned trim, Mom found this prize bit of melodrama waiting on her bed.

Mom, Dad I love you but you can't cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and guess you don't love me enough to do what I want for a change [drawings:

related: A Mother’s Day Report Card

 

 

Tags: guilt trip · hair · kids · Milwaukee · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · visual aids

A look back: The Most Popular Notes of 2011

January 1st, 2012 · 37 Comments

They stole your food, disrupted your sleep, acted like slobs…and usually somehow managed to blame you. 2011: the year of assholes (and the snarky smartasses who goad them.)

Chief among them, and the landslide winner of the 2011 “douchecanoe of the year” award: the insufferably self-righteous vegan. Not that there wasn’t some stiff competition, of course. Cast your votes in the comments!

Dear whoever stole my Amazon package: I can understand your need for 30 rolls of toilet paper considering you're a huge asshole. Enjoy, Your Friendly Neighbor

Dear Neighbors, I apologize for any loud

Next time, I'll burn the mail.

TO THE INDIVIDUAL OBSESSED WITH DRAWING PENISES: Rest assured that you are the only personal who finds humor in this. While I am glad you are so open in expressing yourself, it is rather distasteful to be depicting to your desires in such great detail on everybody's doors. If you care to enjoy your phallic artwork alone in your own place of residence, that is perfectly fine by me. However, there are a number of students who fail to appreciate your unique style of expression on their property. The next time time you feel the urge to create penises, do it on canvas and take it to an art show. Maybe you'll make some money out of the deal.

Who says Canadians are nice?

DO NOT REMOVE. This is the property of unit 1. We pay rent for this carspace and shall therefore use it for whatever vehicle we want to. [crossed out scribbles]

[Read more →]

Tags: most popular notes of 2011

Who says Canadians are nice?

December 21st, 2011 · 86 Comments

And here you thought your neighbors were assholes for dumping your dry laundry on a table.

To: The person who stopped the washer in the middle of my wash cycle and took my clothes out just to wash yours... Yeah, You're an asshole. Unfortunately for you, so am I. You can find your wet clothes frozen outside in the snow. Any problems? Come see me in 301.

Kita in Alberta particularly enjoyed the fact that this note — written on the back of a piece of wrapping paper — was stuck to the wall with a smiley-face Band-Aid.

related: Dear nice person who stole my laundry…

extra credit: “How nice are we?” [cbcnews.ca]

Tags: Canada · laundry · most popular notes of 2011 · oh snap

Christmas lights manufactured by a particularly hardcore Elf on the Shelf

December 13th, 2011 · 48 Comments

Angela and her father were poking around the local dollar store in Metuchen, New Jersey when we they came across these boxes of Christmas lights.

“We originally thought these vaguely ominous messages were meant to harken back to the ‘true spirit of Christmas’ but these threats don’t exactly engender goodwill toward men,” Angela says. “I don’t know for whom these vaguely ominous messages are really intended, but s/he must have seriously pissed off the manufacturer.”

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

PEOPLE ARE WRONG TO FOCUS NARROWLY ON THEMSELVES

IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

 IF YOU SACRIFICE OTHERS FOR YOURSELF, YOU WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES.

related: Subliminal self-esteem killers

extra credit: Evil Elf on the Shelf

Tags: Christmas · most popular notes of 2011 · New Jersey · WTF?

Merry Christmas…with an emphasis on the “meh”

December 11th, 2011 · 43 Comments

In Joe’s Tuscaloosa neighborhood, a lot of folks go all-out with their Christmas decorations. While driving around the other night admiring the various Griswold-style scenes, Joe was especially amused to stumble upon this outlier.

MEH

Perhaps they took inspiration from the house below on the right?

<---- DITTO

related: Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

Tags: Alabama · Christmas · most popular notes of 2011 · smartass

DON’T STOP (being old and cranky)

December 7th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Kids today!!!

[STOP] That means YOU young man in the blue Subaru and turn the music down

(Thanks to Robyn from Durango, Colorado for the submission.)

related: Roommate wanted…NO OLDS!!!

Tags: Colorado · driving · kids today · most popular notes of 2011 · old folks

Urban Warfare

November 27th, 2011 · 82 Comments

Perhaps the neighbors are Skyrim fans?

Dear Neighbors, I apologize for any loud

related: Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got Call of Duty on pause

extra credit: ‘Modern Warfare’ removes one team’s call of duty [wtop.com]

Tags: gaming · Illinois · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · p.s. · the po-po

Your Ultra Charmin Neighbor

November 21st, 2011 · 61 Comments

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “In our apartment building, packages are left by the block of mailboxes, relatively near where your individual mailbox is. I’ve never had a problem, but apparently not everyone was so lucky…this sign was on every floor of the building.”

Dear whoever stole my Amazon package: I can understand your need for 30 rolls of toilet paper considering you're a huge asshole. Enjoy, Your Friendly Neighbor

related: I hope your cat chokes.

Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · Philadelphia · stealing · toilet paper