Entries Tagged as 'Most Popular Notes'

Please don’t treat the stapler like you treat your farm animals

November 1st, 2011 · 51 Comments

This brilliantly understated little note comes to us from a campus library at the University of Auckland, where submitter Louise says the staplers do seem to get jammed into disrepair on a fairly regular basis.

This stapler is now in perfect mechanical condition. It works just fine. Please do not abuse the stapler. Remember: This is just an ordinary stapler, not a rocket powered attaching device. It will NOT staple together half a ream of paper. Unlike a plowing mule, hitting it really hard will not make the stapler work harder to accomplish your goal.

(I have to admit that I kinda love this one. Hat tip to you, librarian!)

related: (Insert Office Space reference here)

extra credit: A rocket-powered detaching device

Tags: fed-up librarian · most popular notes of 2011 · New Zealand · office supplies

While My Magnadoodle Gently Weeps

October 25th, 2011 · 64 Comments

Dave‘s eight-year-old daughter is a huge of the Beatles…and at this moment, a not-so-huge fan of her father.

I wish cute George Harrison was my Daddy instead of you!

Dave, perhaps in a few years she’ll appreciate that, if nothing else, at least you spared her the unibrow gene?

related: Abbey Road idiots

extra credit:
passive aggressive notes to your toddler via magnadoodle

Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · most popular notes of 2011 · New York

Notice: This is a ‘candy optional’ office

October 14th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Spotted next to a festive bowl of Halloween candy in a university administrative office: a preemptive strike at the Jeffs of the world.

(I love it.)

OPTIONAL CANDY 1) Yes, you may have some. 2) No rationalization or diet talk necessary or welcome. .

related: Cupcakes make people…

Tags: candy · let me stop you right there · most popular notes of 2011 · office

Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

October 2nd, 2011 · 43 Comments

Well played, Jerry Brown.

To the Members of the California State Senate: I am signing SB 769 which allows for a dead mountain lion to be stuffed and displayed.  This presumably important bill earned overwhelming support by both Republicans and Democrats. If only that same energetic bipartisan spirit could be applied to creating clean energy jobs and ending tax laws that send jobs out of state. Sincerely, Edmund G. Brown Jr.

related: We hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!

extra credit: “Look at that antelope driving a car!” [via thinkprogress.com]

Tags: California · most popular notes of 2011 · politics · sarcasm

“Write what you know,” as the saying goes

September 16th, 2011 · 41 Comments

When Shelby‘s third-grade son was having trouble with his homework assignment (two paragraphs of creative writing a day), her suggestion was to just write about what came to mind first. As she realized later when she found the page in a stack of old school work: “He did not hold back.”

My evil mom forced me write these horrible words. Five times each. And she tortured me by making me write 200 words. Now my arm hurts really bad. Now she's torturing me some more by making me write this stupid two paragraphs. I wish that she will stop torturing me!

related: “Drunk Mommy

extra credit: “Don’t Write What You Know” [theAtlantic.com]

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · San Diego

THIS LOCKER ROOM IS A NUDITY-FREE ZONE

September 15th, 2011 · 183 Comments

“My kids take swim lessons at Tyler Junior College, and we have to go through the women’s locker room to access the pool,” writes Jennifer in Texas. “Something tells me that some of the ladies here in the Bible Belt don’t appreciate seeing their fellow females displaying the full glory of God’s creation, if you get my drift.”

Just because your nakedness is not uncomfortable for you does not mean that others have the same viewpoint. Let Us ALL RESPECT Each Other.

PLEASE DO NOT AIR DRY Some people (especially students & children) are more modest than others and we should all RESPECT each other.

USE a TOWEL to COVER they are FREE at the Front Desk..........Just Ask

And a shot of the whole scene…

To the Elderly Woman Standing Naked In the Locker Room In A Small Town

related: “Do Not Leave Bathing Suit in the House” (and other pool rules)

extra credit: The horrors of locker-room nudity [Salon.com]

Tags: "polite notice" · a matter of taste · blitzkrieg approach · most popular notes of 2011 · swimming pool · Texas · that's disrespectful · Won't somebody think of the children?

An artistic phallacy

September 9th, 2011 · 51 Comments

Says Michael, of this note from the bulletin board of his college dorm: “It pretty much speaks for itself.”

TO THE INDIVIDUAL OBSESSED WITH DRAWING PENISES: Rest assured that you are the only personal who finds humor in this. While I am glad you are so open in expressing yourself, it is rather distasteful to be depicting to your desires in such great detail on everybody's doors. If you care to enjoy your phallic artwork alone in your own place of residence, that is perfectly fine by me. However, there are a number of students who fail to appreciate your unique style of expression on their property. The next time time you feel the urge to create penises, do it on canvas and take it to an art show. Maybe you'll make some money out of the deal.

related: Body hair is unsanitary!

extra credit: A brief survey of blatantly phallic art [flavorwire.com]

Tags: art · college life · graffiti · most popular notes of 2011 · RA

A little bump and slide

August 30th, 2011 · 67 Comments

According to our submitter, this car hasn’t been spotted in the path since.

THANKS FOR ALWAYS PARKING ACROSS THE PATH. IT GIVES ME THE CHANCE TO BE A MOVIE STAR & SLIDE ACROSS YOUR HOOD NOW & THEN. TRY IT, IT'S AWESOME!

related: BAD PARK YOU!

Tags: car · most popular notes of 2011 · parking · reverse psychology · smartass

Now, if we could all just take our own advice…

August 27th, 2011 · 69 Comments

Really, some people are just better off living alone.

Presented in order of appearance:

If you used the last piece, throw this away and put a new roll on.

 If you see the roll done, don't write a note. Just fuckin replace it bitch.

[Roommate 1:] If you see the roll done, don't write a note. Just fuckin replace it bitch. [Roommate 2:] You just did the exact opposite of what you wrote.

related: What’s harder than changing the toilet paper roll?

Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · note wars · roommates · toilet paper

Wrath of the Ancients™ 2.0

August 22nd, 2011 · 47 Comments

At Summer’s office in Austin, there are a few known “soakers” who constantly leave their dirty dishes in their sink. Apparently, the office soothsayer has had about enough of this practice.

(click the image below to enlarge)

Do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. The wrath of the ancients will fall upon your head. You will be cursed and misery will accompany you for your remaining days. You will constantly trip over things that are not there. The IRS will audit you. Your dog will run away at the sight of you. Your shoelaces will not stay tied. Mysterious clowns will seem to always be watching you. Rabid squirrels will invade your home. Your food in the work refrigerator will mysteriously spoil (and only yours. No one else's.) Your car  will start making the expensive knocking/tapping sound and NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU AT PARTIES EVER AGAIN.

P.S. I kinda have a crush on this sign.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Tags: Austin · dishes · most popular notes of 2011 · not-so-veiled threats · office · smartass