Entries Tagged as 'Most Popular Notes'

Is it really Baby Jesus stealing season again already?

November 18th, 2013 · 99 Comments

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but as Rachel in Victoria, B.C. noticed, nativity scenes are already becoming crime scenes.

I hate to say that and most of you may not even believe it, but there are people they steal

related: Baby Jesus is AWOL

Tags: British Columbia · Christmas · Jesus · most popular notes of 2013 · stealing · warning

This is why people hate the Millennials

November 11th, 2013 · 285 Comments

Writes our submitter, a college student in Colorado who I would really like to smack some sense into: “We had a change in professors midway through the semester in my fiction workshop. The new professor does not understand that his class is not the absolute most important thing in the universe.”

(just click the image below to enlarge)

Rather than write a lengthy explanation of why it is a bad idea to come to my class without reading the material, or why typing away on your laptop or checking FB while I am speaking (or worse, while yours peers are leading discussion) is rude, I decided instead just to thank those of you who consistently come into class prepared and enthusiastic.

related: So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · college life · Colorado · kids today · most popular notes of 2013

Not cool, dudebro

November 7th, 2013 · 104 Comments

The only think Derek — I’m sorry, “Dman” — had to say about this note was, “i live with some girls, and one is pretty funny.” Something tells that “funny ha ha” isn’t what comes to his roommates’ minds when mopping up Derek’s puddles of urine.

Derek, Peeing IN the toilet bowl is a non-negotiable part of having indoor plumbing; if you don't like aiming, go outside.

related: The Piddler on the Roof

Tags: actually totally reasonable · most popular notes of 2013 · New York · piss · roommates

I EARNED THIS.

November 4th, 2013 · 75 Comments

Explains David in California: “Because of an ant problem, Julia can’t keep her candy in her room.” Thus…

If anyone eats my candy I will kill them. Seriously, stop. I didn't get very much candy and I had a terrible Halloween filled with sickness. Eat your own candy. I earned this. FIND YOUR HUMANITY.

related: There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

Tags: candy · Halloween · most popular notes of 2013

Drivers of Walmart

November 1st, 2013 · 61 Comments

Sarah spotted this lovely handpainted sign just down the street from Walmart in a small town in Washington state.

Slow down dumbass. WalMart is open 24 hours!

Meanwhile, in another small town across the country, Megan in Virginia spotted this car in her local Walmart parking lot.

A 'man' driver did this!

related: That means you young man in the blue Subaru!!

Tags: car · driving · most popular notes of 2013 · small town living

Happy Hallow— oh.

October 30th, 2013 · 78 Comments

Well then.

Happy Hallow— oh.

related: NO CANDY GO AWAY!

Tags: Halloween · most popular notes of 2013

WiBuy Local?

October 24th, 2013 · 69 Comments

“Foster’s Market in Chapel Hill, North Carolina is a pretty popular place right off a college campus,” says our submitter, Hope. “Lots of students come in, maybe get a coffee and sit for hours using the free wireless without buying anything else.” In response, the owners recently changed the name of the WiFi network. Gets the point across, no?

Our wireless network is called 'BUY A SANDWICH' and does not require a password

related: Passive-Aggressive WiFi

Tags: "customer service" · most popular notes of 2013 · North Carolina · restaurant

(Cat) Lady of the Night

October 22nd, 2013 · 95 Comments

Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.

A MESSAGE TO THE LATE NIGHT CAT LADY  1. DO YOU REALLY THINK STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AT 1 AM AND CALLING IN A HIGH, LOUD VOICE IS THE BEST WAY TO BRING HOME YOUR CAT?  2. DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR CAT CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE AND NOT YOUR NEIGHBORS?  3. DO YOU IMAGINE YOUR NEIGHBORS ENJOY YOU WAKING THEM FROM SLEEP AT 12, 1, OR 2 AM ON A NEARLY DAILY BASIS?  SUGGESTIONS: 1. BRING YOUR CAT IN BEFORE 10 PM.  2. REALIZE THAT YOUR VOICE CARRIES AND THE HOUSES ON THIS STREET ARE CLOSE TOGETHER.  3. CONSIDER GETTING A DIFFERENT PET - MAYBE A GOLDFISH.

related: Please walk your elephant quietly!

Tags: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · noise · Oakland

I’m detecting a foul odor coming from your general direction.

October 10th, 2013 · 204 Comments

Basic hygiene: Sadly, one of those things that some people make it to college without learning…until they end up with a bio major for a roommate.

I'm detecting foul body odor coming from your bed sheets and closet. Due to the humidity, age, and overall neglect of the Howell building, there are a lot of bacteria and they function at a significantly higher rate than in most other structures. The bacteria feed on human excretions and other easy food sources. These are but are not limited to sebaceous and apocrine gland secretions, actual food, fecal residues from farting, etc. As you may or may not be aware of, the bacteria that metabolizing these substances are odor causing. Since we are paying in excess of $2000.00 for these rooms per semester, cooperation to ensure a livable room and satisfactory cohabitation is a very high priority. I pay out-of-pocket by myself, so I'm resentful that the room almost always falls short in cleanliness in appearance or odor. This smell is not from room humidity, end of story. To remedy this problem, take the following steps...

related: This room is protected by the Constitution!

Tags: college life · hygiene · It's science! · most popular notes of 2013 · odor · roommates · TL;DR

In other words: Blame Boehner

October 1st, 2013 · 63 Comments

So, this is what you’ll see if you visit Whitehouse.gov right now. Sigh.

Due to Congress’s failure to pass legislation to fund the government, the information on this web site may not be up to date. Some submissions may not be processed, and we may not be able to respond to your inquiries.  Information about government operating status and resumption of normal operations is available at USA.GOV .

related: Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

extra credit: John Boehner’s Shutdown [nytimes.com]

 

Tags: don't blame us · most popular notes of 2013 · politics · posted online