Michael in California stumbled across this bit of passive-aggressive pedantry on Food.com.

P.S. The reviews = 5 stars.

related: Four approaches to ice cube maintenance

extra credit: Jim Gaffigan on Bottled Water

Andy in Alexandria, Virginia passes this sign every day on his way to work, and says he’s always found the quotations around the word “baptized” to be a bit ominous. (“I have no idea what they are getting at,” he says.)

Of course, if this sign seems familiar to you, that’s because this ol’ knee-slapper just might be the “unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy” of church parking signs. To wit:

And back in Vienna, Virginia, it’s the cars that get baptized.

Related: What Would Jesus Text?

“My best friend works at a hospital as a RN,” Jesse writes, “and one day, after a ridiculously long shift, she reached into the breakroom candy dish expecting, well, candy, and got a handful of pushpins instead. She wrote this note because a) she’s a smartass and b) to warn others.”

Jesse continues: “Minutes later, a doctor came in, reached into the candy dish, and popped one into his mouth. Then he spit it out, exclaiming, ‘This isn’t candy!’ My friend looked at him, and with a straight face said, ‘That’s why the note is there, Doctor.’ He looked down, read the note, and promptly left the room.”

Adds Jesse: “But seriously, what kind of troll puts push pins in a candy dish?”

related: THIS IS A CANDY-OPTIONAL OFFICE

Well, Dad? What have you got to say for yourself?

(Thanks to Katie in Kansas City for submitting!)

related: Why didn’t you tell me the tooth fairy wasn’t real?

Okay, I think everyone’s had enough of the Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012. Perhaps a little double entendre to lighten the mood? Alrighty then!

This piece by Jamie’s daughter was hanging on the wall outside her classroom during Parent’s Day at the school. “She had no idea why it was funny to us,” Jamie says. (Her daughter’s teacher, meanwhile…)

related: “Drunk Mommy”

P.S. The passive-aggressive part of this note is the crappy watermark. I hate watermarks. Screw you, karma/pageview whores!

Megan in Atlanta found this note on her front door one day after returning home from work. Explains Megan: “My front rooms are living and dining, not bedrooms. I had put one of my front blinds up because the cat was getting to it and they’re expensive cellular shades.” Her “high road” response? Raising all the blinds in the house. (Adds Megan: “Enjoy the view, busybody!”)

Meanwhile, Tim and his wife Rebecca spotted this smiley-faced bit of sarcasm on a street near their home in Colorado Springs. Adds Tim: “The neighborhood isn’t even very nice, so an ugly fence is hardly the worst thing around.”

related: The Future HOA Presidents of America

Explains a mom in Oregon: “This note was left outside the kids’ bedroom door after I sent them to a time out for pouring all of the shampoo and facewash in the entire bathroom into the bathtub. I told them I couldn’t trust them not to do that so they would have to stick to showers instead of baths for the time being.”

Man, I just love it when kids threaten their parents with the silent treatment.

related: An official declaration of the silent treatment

“Apparently chicken legs can cause quite the hullabaloo in a small town,” notes our submitter in Iowa.

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