Entries Tagged as 'moving/not moving'

The coward’s way out of a roommate break-up

October 20th, 2013 · 77 Comments

Writes Megan in Canada: “Found this in my room one night. No warning, no talk. Classy and cowardly.”

Megan, I don't think it is working out between the two of us. I think its time you find a new place. I don't want to have any hard feelings. Carole

related: Trading up

Tags: Canada · moving/not moving · roommates

Oh, gaufre…yourself

July 29th, 2013 · 49 Comments

Maureen is the first to admit that when she studied abroad in Belgium, she was not the best of roommates (coming home intoxicated at 4 a.m. several times a week, an awkward run-in with a boyfriend, that kind of thing.) And yet, over the course of many months, her Belgian roommate never once complained.

One night, Maureen came home to find her roommate’s possessions neatly packed up in boxes. Before she had a chance to talk to her, everything — save this note — was gone, which Maureen interprets as “a not so subtle way of telling me she never wants to see me again.” (I’d say that’s a pretty safe bet.)

Dear Maureen, As you probably have noticed, I'm leaving. I wish you a happy and joyful life. Good bye, Andrea

related: Would you mind moving out?

Tags: Belgium · moving/not moving · painfully polite · roommates

With some fava beans and a nice Chianti

June 9th, 2013 · 24 Comments

“It would appear my co-worker is sensitive to her plant being moved,” writes Claire in the U.K.

Move this plant and i will eat your liver. Love Jess xx

Meanwhile, in New York…

To the person that leaves a disgusting mess on the seat. If you don't stop, this person will find you and eat your liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti. So cut it out!

And in Baltimore…

PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH This is BBQ HUMAN meat and by eating this you are admitting to the office that you are a cannibal

related: Pigs do not eat bacon

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · moving/not moving · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · toilet

Trading up

May 8th, 2013 · 62 Comments

This seems like a conversation you should probably have in person, no? I mean…ouch.

Justin, Would you be willing to move out? My friend Mark is looking to move to Berkeley & it would be awesome if he could live here. He's planning on coming June 20th ish. -Lenny

related: Dear Alex, GET OUT.

Tags: Berkeley · moving/not moving · roommates

A message for our former housemate

December 18th, 2012 · 19 Comments

This could be a hint that your former housemates have grown weary of you treating their home as a rent-free walk-in closet. (Admits our submitter: “If I’d had my way, it’d be on the sidewalk with a ‘free stuff’ sign.)

St. Vincent DePauls 'MOVE THIS SHIT' Sale

Tags: Australia · money · moving/not moving · roommates

How to deal with a chronically messy roommate once and for all

April 1st, 2012 · 19 Comments

The strategic box placement — in what appears to be a minefield of dog turds — is bad enough. But the really passive-aggressive part? Apparently, the box wasn’t taped shut on the bottom.

Since you were too busy to clean anything before you moved out, I thought I'd save you a few trips up the stairs for the rest of your stuff. You're welcome!

related: “I don’t miss them.” 

Tags: cleaning · Idaho · moving/not moving · roommates

Dear couchsurfer: here’s a clue you might have overstayed your welcome

August 3rd, 2011 · 22 Comments

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

Be out by Friday or I will remove you & change the locks (Hug Me)

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed

Tags: Austin · frenemies · heart · moving/not moving · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats

Deny a man his web comics? How dare you.

December 3rd, 2009 · 218 Comments

Heather in Indianapolis is the kind of gal who helps out a pal who’s down on his luck. So when her marginally employed friend needed a place to crash while he got back on his feet, she let Greg live in her house and help himself to her food and other belongings, like her laptop, “pretty much rent-free,” for three months.

One day, after several hours spent trying to get rid of all the spyware on her computer  — thanks to all the porn sites she found in the browser history — she turned on parental controls. (A lil’ passive-aggressive? Maybe.) Then, when she forgot to log off one day, Greg removed them.

When Heather figured this out (after being bombarded by spyware once again) she added the parental controls back. And Greg — instead of saying something like, “Hey, did you realize those settings block stuff like Google and Careerbuilder?” — left her this charming note.

“According to this note,” Heather says, “in addition to all the horrible things I’ve done such as give him a place to live, let him eat my food, give him breaks on rent for months at a time and put up with his laziness, carelessness and filth, I have also DENIED HIM A SOCIAL LIFE! OMG!”

Deny a man his web comics? How dare you.

UPDATE: The back of the note!

In other words, you suck, and i should probably move out anyway!

Shoshana, it looks like you have some competition.

related: WoW, indeed.

Tags: frenemies · guilt trip · Indianapolis · martyr complex · moving/not moving · not cool · p.s. · roommates

Notes white people leave

April 3rd, 2008 · 198 Comments

OMG, ramekin drama! (from San Francisco, natch…)

(click to enlarge!)

related: #54 kitchen gadgets [stuffwhitepeoplelike.com]

Tags: excessive underlining · meta · moving/not moving · San Francisco

More from the frontlines of post-post-feminism

August 17th, 2007 · 131 Comments

Writes Kristi in Chicago: “This was sent from our receptionist to the ENTIRE office (except, for some reason, me, until a coworker forwarded it so I wouldn’t miss out on the fun. It’s the receptionist’s job to order supplies and put away deliveries, but apparently she doesn’t like to do any heavy lifting. The last line really sent the office into a tizzy!”

(click to enlarge)

"...we are an office full of women and cannot lift the heavy boxes of copy paper"

It’s the second-to-last line that sends me into a bit of a tizzy…

Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · comma diarrhea · e-mail · moving/not moving · office · spelling and grammar police