Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

Who declared Opposite Day?

July 12th, 2011 · 59 Comments

We’ve already seen people throwing urine in bottles out of their window…and now, shit in bags? Who does that?!

(Apparently, at least one dog owner in Bailey’s NYC apartment building.)

Someone is dropping bags of Dog Shit from their apartment into the building courtyard. To make matters worse, it does not always make it to the ground. Last nights bag was outside my window. Again. This must stop before management is involved. (Eww, gross!)

related: Throwing cat hair out the window = almost as bad

Tags: dogs · neighbors · New York · shit · that's disgusting · WTF?

July 4th Parade CANCELLED. Do you hate America?

June 30th, 2011 · 92 Comments

Since moving to Austin, I’ve learned that local neighborhood newsletters and listservs are some of the best sources for homegrown passive-aggressive fireworks. Though this particular example might seem relatively mild, our anonymous submitter claims the president of her neighborhood association typically does not disappoint in that department.

In the latest newsletter, “She passive-aggressively scolds the neighborhood for not volunteering (‘numerous requests have been sent out’) and then lists all the (supposedly) awesome things we will be missing out on because no one would volunteer. The last paragraph is the written equivalent of giving the middle finger with a polite smile on your face.”

Dear residents: For numerous years past, the same small group of volunteers has rallied the troops to make SRCC's very popular parade and picnic happen. Their children who enjoyed the event while growing up are now grown, and these volunteers are tired. Numerous requests have been sent out for the past three years for new blood, but none has materialized. So, this year, SRCC will not in any way be associated with a July 4th celebration.  What this means to you is that there will be no official parade, no parade permit, no police escort, no event insurance in case someone is hurt, no park reservations, and no food, drink, vendors, shade structures, politicians or entertainment at the park.  I sincerely hope that all of you enjoy your July 4th, wherever you may be, and that the SRCC event is revived in the future. Even if it isn't though, so many enjoyed the event for so many years that the memory will live on for a long time. Thank all of you volunteers so very much for keeping the event going as long as you did. You deserve a big round of applause.

related: Do you hate America?

Tags: Austin · neighbors

Next time, I’ll burn the mail.

June 23rd, 2011 · 110 Comments

Jillian and her roommates in Massachusetts recently found this note — which goes from 0 to 60 in half a page — outside their apartment door. At the time it was left, says Jillian: “None of us were home except the dog, who apparently needs to lose weight.”

But hey, neighbor? Even if they had been home, ignoring a knock hardly seems grounds for jumping straight to burning the mail. Apparently it is not a good month for chilling the fuck out.

Out of the kindness of my heart, I chose to bring the mail to your door in person, after it was wrongfully delivered to me. You ignored my knocks, while your obese feet tromp along our ceiling, unable to hide. Next time, I'll burn the mail. All actions feed more action. Spite and arrogance breed the same in others. YES. It is a good month to be a bitch.

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: martyr complex · Massachusetts · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · WTF?

I’m not exactly sure what a “pre-warning” is, but it sure sounds serious.

June 22nd, 2011 · 54 Comments

Roslyn in Houston found this note under her roommate’s windshield wiper just over a month after they both moved in. Puzzlingly, she says, “We do not own a rooster, nor have we ever seen or even heard one.”

(In that case, Roslyn, I’d tell your roommate’s boyfriend to pre-watch-out.)

This rooster is a serious problem!!! He is going to get hunted if someone doesn't get rid of him!! Pre-Warning!

related: Cock fight!

Tags: animal welfare · horses, cows, & chickens · Houston · neighbors · Oops? · warning

Lord of the Laundry Room

June 21st, 2011 · 298 Comments

I’m probably more than a little biased when it comes to determining whether or not Alan in Seattle — the writer of the note below and self-appointed Lord of the Laundry Room — is, in fact, an ass.

For one, even though I know the scent of fresh laundry is actually thanks to evil chemical compounds and not “mountain breeze” or “spring rain,” I still kinda love it. Of course, I don’t live in an apartment directly above a laundry room. Instead, I live in an apartment surrounded by chain smokers. And while I hardly enjoy the smell of cigarettes, I’ve managed to deal without threatening to confiscate my neighbors’ Marlboros and replace them with bottles of bubble solution. (I also keep my windows shut.)

What say you, troublemakers? Is Alan wrong? Or is he just an asshole?

Hello all...I am again asking for everyone to discontinue using any scented products in the laundry room. I live right above and the laundry room and the synthetic cheap

related: You’re not wrong, Walter

Tags: ellipses-crazed · laundry · neighbors · odor · Seattle

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

June 19th, 2011 · 63 Comments

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

Attention Neighbours!!!!!!! There is a discussing [sic] PIG among us. Someone is leaving bags and bags of garbage in our hallway and stairwell. This has been recurring in the last few weeks and must be stopped! These bags were large garbage bags that were fully, smelly, and already had flies coming from them. Whoever you are, I am watching out for you! And now, so too will your neighbours! You should be ashamed of yourself! If you are this dirty, I am sure your apartment is also a reflection of that. I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THIS BUILDING, THAT WE DON'T WANT FLIES, COCROCHES [sic] OR ANY BUGS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER HYGENE [sic]! Or people like you! GROW UP! Signed, A responsible member of society!!!!!!

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · grow up · hygiene · neighbors · odor · public shaming · spelling and grammar police

Bad luck you

June 7th, 2011 · 150 Comments

“My parents have a large front yard,” writes David in Georgia, “and up until a few years ago, it had about 40 trees in it.” Unfortunately, an arborist informed David’s parents that those trees, while they looked normal enough, had become infested and essentially hollowed-out by insects, killing the trees and turning them into a pretty big safety risk in the case of a storm. At the arborist’s recommendation — and I’m sure, at all no small expense — David’s parents had the trees removed.

Fast forward a few months to December, when the family put up their usual holiday decorations — little trees made of Christmas lights — throughout the front yard. Soon after, David says, the family received two items of interest in their mailbox:

1. A certificate of recognition from the Arbor Day Foundation, “thanking us for our efforts to prevent further tree deaths”
2. This handmade holiday card.

Wishing you...

5 years' bad luck for each tree you killed....And if that wasn't bad enough, you have the nerve to make tacky 'trees' out of lights and call it holiday cheer. What's wrong with you? Sadly but sincerely, Your neighbors on Henderson Road

Adds David: “This person obviously put a lot of work into carefully drawing and writing it; the artwork and penmanship are immaculate. If only they’d put as much effort into asking us why we were having the trees removed.”

related: All together now…please don’t climb the tree!

Tags: Christmas · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · holiday spirit · neighbors · Oops?

Caught in the act

May 23rd, 2011 · 89 Comments

This bulletin board display from Louisville, Kentucky comes to us via Annie in Colorado, who adds: “I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor dogs caught popping a squat!” (Don’t worry, Annie. As you can see, I’ve taken steps to protect the identities of the canines pictured.)

Maybe it’s the classic crazypants handwriting, but I when I try to envision the creator of this display, the first image that comes to mind is one of those cop-show scenes where they bust in and find a room obsessively wallpapered with photos and maps and newspaper clippings documenting some big (or in this case, not so big) conspiracy theory.

But who knows? Maybe this guy is starting a new fetish mag and just wants to track down these dogs to pay their modeling fees or…something.

DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??? 8337 GT. HAS NO DOGS YET THESE DOGS ARE POOPING AROUND THIS ADDRESS. [Response:] GET A LIFE!!!

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

Tags: confusion??? · crazypants · dogs · Louisville · neighbors · rebuttals · shit · visual aids

Sure, blame it on the kids

April 24th, 2011 · 175 Comments

“My neighbor taped this note to my door,” says Valerie in Portland. “I don’t know who scratched her car, but I do know she could benefit from spell check.” (Harumph.)

Attn. Val...Please do not park next to our car as we keep Finding Key marks now dents in my doors, as you don't watch your Kids! I will make a claim if this persists if you even have insurence [sic]...Please respect, thank you!

related: Unattended children will be shot.

Tags: car · kids · neighbors · parking · Portland

The Pooper Stooper

April 5th, 2011 · 108 Comments

Need to borrow a cup of sugar? How about five pounds of dog poop? Well heck, that’s what neighbors are for!

Hey Sillies! I noticed you guys keep forgetting to pick up your dogs' poopies so I took it upon myself to bring by some baggies. I assumed you're all out because why else wouldn't you clean up after your dogs? Oh! I also helped out by dropping all the said poop conveniently in front of your dog, for easier clean up. You're welcome!

related: Do you want a doggy bag for those leftovers, sir?

extra credit: The perfect leash for dog haters/sociopaths

Tags: "helpful" advice · dogs · heart · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · shit