Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

To whom that wanted my cat bot

February 6th, 2011 · 254 Comments

The proper care of outdoor cats has become one of those issues — like tipping, or whether the toilet paper roll should hang over or under — that will no doubt incite flame wars until the end of time. That said, Lindsay in Oregon was still a bit surprised when this note appeared on her apartment building’s bulletin board, given that “FOUND” posters referencing the same collar-less cat had been posted on said bulletin board for weeks on end.

To whom that wanted to be a superhero and take my cat to the pound, Thank you...Now I can't afford to post bail to get my cat out of kitty jail. Sorry she didn't have her collar on but I have bot [sic] her six of them already. And she hates them and she likes to some how get them off outside. I tried to keep her from the front but she liked all the attention. It's ok tho, My cat was the only thing I trusted and loved. Way to be an outstanding citizen.

After experiencing similar problems with the neighbors (despite the fact that his cat already wears tags with his owner’s phone number on them) Elisa’s friend in Seattle had another tag made in hopes of preventing future trips to “kitty jail” — or at least to piss of the neighbors taking his cat there.

Says Elisa in Seattle:

related: Cat fight!

Tags: cats · money · MYOB · neighbors · Oregon · rebuttals · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Faux (feu) pas

January 17th, 2011 · 42 Comments

To me, this note is like that scene about 17 minutes into an episode of Law & Order, when the detectives run into an overly-talkative building manager and ask him he’s seen anything suspicious lately. Then, inevitably, the guy says something like, “Well, now that you mention it, ’bout two days ago, one of the residents tried to burn some old bloody clothes in that fireplace over dere. I guess the guy wasn’t too smaht, cause he didn’t figure out that fireplace ain’t real. You know, it’s just for show.”

To Whom it May Concern, I regret to inform you that this is, in fact, a fake fireplace, and that your attempt to burn your old clothes has failed. Kindly collect your things and dispose of them properly.  Regretfully yours, Not the maid

related: When sleeping, you will get burned and die immediately.

Tags: Boston · neighbors · Oops? · Too good to be real? · WTF?

Take a moment and look up the word RUDE.

January 6th, 2011 · 76 Comments

Just in case you were still under the impression that leaving an anonymous note will somehow allow you to maintain the moral high ground, take a look at this classic neighborly exchange from Drew‘s apartment building in Atlanta.

I have never been in your apartment and I doubt I ever will be. However, I think I would be correct in saying you have at least one bookcase. Within that selection of books, there is probably a dictionary. Take a moment and look up the word RUDE. If you do or if you already know the meaning of the world, you should know then that this describes YOU! Your radio or television wakes me up practically every morning at 5:30 and there are several nights it played late at night. I don't appreciate it and if it continues, I will take action which will not be favorable - talking to the apartment office. Thus, consider this a one time warning. I never thought anyone would be some thoughtless or rude as you but maybe you have never tried to improve on this undesired behavior. You better start before it becomes too late!

Drop the passive-aggressive posture and simply be an adult and ask next time!

related: I hope your cat chokes

Tags: Atlanta · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · oh snap · rebuttals · TL;DR

Won’t someone think of the children?

December 16th, 2010 · 57 Comments

Part 2 in our “How to be the worst neighbor ever” series comes to us courtesy of Chris in Fort Worth, Texas.

When he first saw the note go up in his apartment complex, says Chris, “I thought it was pretty funny, but it wasn’t until the thief wrote a response that I had to take a picture.”

[Typewritten:} Stop taking my newspapers, you goddamn jerk.

related: All the news that’s fit to steal

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · neighbors · newspaper · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

The passive-aggressive mailbox prankster

December 15th, 2010 · 43 Comments

Stuffing your neighbor’s mailbox with a bag of dog poo/a dead rodent/a hundred boxes of orange tic-tacs? So amateur. If you really want to drive someone crazy, try repeatedly scratching out her name and writing “VACANT” over it instead. Apparently, it works like a charm.

Dear whoever keeps finding it necessary to inform the mail carrier my apartment is vacant, It is not. I do live here and have a need to receive my mail. Please mind your own business and stop fucking around in other people's mail boxes.  Sincerely, Apt. D

related: Stop ordering McDonald’s and then not answering your door!

Tags: going postal · i before e · irregular capitalization · neighbors · New Orleans

Providing a “friendly holiday spirit”

December 13th, 2010 · 42 Comments

Halloween was just a prelude, really —it’s Christmas that brings the real bounty of guilt-trip opportunities, often with a bonus side helping of irony.

To wit: Jaime in Canada says his neighbor (okay, “neighbour”) went totally Clark Griswold with his Christmas decorating this year, creating a sparkling extravaganza that is, Jaime says, “quite the treat for the eyes.”

But the best part of the display might be what stands in front of Santa and his team of reindeer  — an ellipses-and-exclamation-fueled cautionary tale about the true meaning of Christmas…consumerism!!! (Take that, Tiny Tim!)

Dear Potential Rotten Kid!!!!!!!! This display was a Christmas gift from my children. I, plus my neighbours enjoy providing a friendly holiday spirit. Let your conscience be your guide! ...Imagine...Christmas Morning...You!! Mom...Dad...Hey, where's my presents? SORRY...SON!!! Somebody stole everything from our car!!

related: Who stole and vandalized a candy cane? Who stole the baby Jesus??

Tags: Canada · Christmas · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · holiday spirit · neighbors · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children? · you're like so going to hell

Please stop feeding the homeless

December 8th, 2010 · 247 Comments

Now, our submitter Kenny doesn’t want to you to get the wrong idea about his buddy Lamar. Yes, Lamar drives an old church van, but he works at a piercing parlor — he’s not the kind of rabble-rouser who’d go around doing things like, say, “feeding the hungry.”

Apparently, however, one of Lamar’s neighbors in the Little Five Points neighborhood of Atlanta saw the van and concluded otherwise — leaving behind this disapproving note for him to meditate on.

PLEASE STOP FEEDING THE HOMELESS IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. YOU ARE DOING HARM TO Those of us Who live here. Take it to your on backyard. Thank you + Please —

related: Find somewhere else to sleep and piss

extra credit: Donate to the Metro Atlanta Task Force for the Homeless via PayPal

Donate to the National Alliance to End Homelessness via PayPal

Tags: Atlanta · heartwarming compassion · irregular capitalization · mistaken identity · NIMBY · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · the homeless · there goes the neighborhood · WTF?

Civil diso-brattiness

November 28th, 2010 · 124 Comments

“My boyfriend, Alex, lives in a high-rise apartment building occupied by college/university students — people you’d think would have some intelligence,” says Meghan in Hamilton, Ontario.

Of course, a little learning is a dangerous thing. In Alex’s building, this seemingly civil request from one of the building’s residents garnered the following indignant response.

Please smoke on the balcony.  Everyone's apartment smells of cigarettes because someone is chain-smoking all day long. Please be considerate of your neighbours.

No I won't!  What next? Don't cook Currie or fish Don't use smelly cleaners Don't perk coffee Don't bring food into building. I can smell it Don't drink, you stink up elevators Don't take shoes off, smelly feet Don't fart or burp, I can hear it and smell it.  Move to a smoke free hotel room.

But Meghan says her favorite thing about this exchange is the placement — right next that big ol’ city-mandated “no smoking” sign.

NO SMOKING: City of Hamilton By-law 80-258 Maximum Fine $5000

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

Tags: Canada · neighbors · odor · Ontario · questionable logic · rebuttals · smoking

Please clean ALL your feathers.

November 17th, 2010 · 33 Comments

Paul in New York City has no idea what inspired this peculiar sign in his building’s laundry room…

Please clean ALL your feathers. They NOT acceptable & I will bring it up at the meeting if not.

If only he had attended the building meeting, where the offending neighbor offered his response…

Dirty Bird

related: That’s actually a totally reasonable response.

Tags: cleaning · laundry · message to all intended for one · neighbors · New York · WTF?

What happens when you push “Minnesota Nice” one muddy step too far?

November 14th, 2010 · 81 Comments

Shortly after moving in to her new place in Minneapolis, Emily was greeted by this example of that famous “Minnesota Nice“ on a neighbor’s door.

Remove shoes before enter my place or else you will have some promblems with me. That goes for whoever whatever. Or else you won't be comming in here. And if I see any footprint mudd on my rug. I will snapout. believe that am tired of being nice to people

Remove your shoes. Or else you won't be cumming in my house. thats goes for whoever. if you don't remove your shoe's before enter my house or you ill have a promblem with me. and you will be getting my carpet clean. and the next bad as kid or whoever rip my sign off my door i will whoop there ass. I don't care who you is.

related: Your are welcome to our home

Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · irregular capitalization · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shoes · spelling and grammar police