Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

Can you dig it?

February 21st, 2010 · 364 Comments

“When I first moved to Chicago,” says Mike, “my grandfather told me about parking in the winter. One would dig out a spot and insert a chair, reserving the spot for your trouble.” One of his neighbors, it seems, didn’t get the benefit of such grandfatherly wisdom.

Dear Transplant, You obviously haven't lived in Chicago long.

Neither, apparently, did Chris…who made the mistake of parking in an empty space outside his friend’s house in Chicago for few hours. When he got home, he found this note affixed to his mirror with glue.

Thanks for being so rude by parking in the space that I shoveled out for my family.

And of course, Chicago isn’t the only city that takes its snow-shoveling etiquette seriously.

Just ask Anna in New Jersey…

This table is not trash, it is mine. I am using it to mark my parking spot that I so diligently shoveled out twice yesterday.

Or Brooke in Indianapolis…

I spent 3.5 hours over 2 days to shovel this parking space out so i could get to work and earn a paycheck. Since parking on the street is my only option at the moment, I would ask that you respect my hard work in shoveling myself out and NOT take my spot to park.  Have your business spend money to plow your spots in front of your business if you would like a clean spot to park.  Regards, A homeowner with a sore back from shoveling so much snow!!!

Or Amy in Washington, D.C…

Dear "Neighbor": I'm sure you thought the Recycling Bin and Trash Bags were just there for decoration. When a person spends hours digging out a parking spot through two separate snowstorms, she has a right to park there upon her return.

Or Larry in Silver Spring, Maryland…

NOT COOL!!  You didn't take 3 hours to shovel this spot OUT!!  This is MY parking spot!!

Or Kristin in Pittsburgh…

PLEASE DON'T PARK HERE (or I will totally lose my shit!!)

Olivia in Albany…

Don't think about parking here   Shovel your own space  Thank you   Have a nice day

Or Chris in Boston…where they’re always keepin’ it classy.

Hey fucking asshole the barrel was there for a reason. I didn't shovel out the spot that you could park your shitbox in it you fucking dickhead.

related: Boston, a place for friends

Tags: Chicago · etiquette · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · parking · snow

A review of last night’s performance

February 17th, 2010 · 194 Comments

Aleister in London found this critique slipped under his door after an impromptu Thursday night sing-along.  “I am a big fan of my neighbours’ critical opinion,” Alastair says. “I won’t offer much defense other than that our music selection was exceptional and I was on my way to work when I found it.”

Well done, Flat 3. Dry wit, a soft touch, and lovely handwriting? This is one note that definitely deserves a place of honor on the fridge.

Dear Flat 1, We are sorry to bother you but we couldn't help hearing what a fantastic time you had last night/this morning.

If you absolutely must write a note, I’d say this is how to do it.

related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · London · neighbors · noise

Snowed in? Come meet your neighbors! (Unless you’re like, old.)

February 11th, 2010 · 84 Comments

Erin in Arlington, Virginia says this sign appeared in every elevator in her building during the D.C. area’s Snowmaggedon of 2010. “Apparently cabin fever requires drinks…and only people in their 20s and early 30s.”

Snowed In? Come Meet Your Neighbors! Let's mingle :) Bring Your Own Drinks. Please be in your 20s or early 30s

related: no girls allowed

Tags: neighbors · Northern Virginia · old folks

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

WiFi for passive-aggressives

December 30th, 2009 · 168 Comments

When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors.

YourDogShitsInMyYard

3rdFloorAssholeSTFUOnYourBalcony

Icanhereyouhavingsex [sic]

Caitlin stop using our Internet!

please no more grindcore at 3am

Stop being so fucking loud.

plzstopfuckingsoloudly

We can hear you having sex.

(Thanks to submitters Paul in St. Paul, Stirling in Salt Lake City, Arcadiy in Seattle, Denise in Rochester, Sara in Berkeley, Liz in Austin, Breanne in Oklahoma City, and Payal in Pleasanton, California…all of whom, no doubt, have secured wi-fi networks. Right, guys?)

related: Why-fi

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Tags: dogs · most popular notes of 2009 · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex

Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

December 29th, 2009 · 86 Comments

Hey, so do you remember hearing about how crazy cat ladies might be explained by the Toxoplasma parasite? (No? Then listen to this episode of Radiolab. It’s pretty awesome.) Well, Toxo may or may not explain these notes.

Exhibit a) Spotted by Shane at an office in Upland, California…

"Regarding my cat": His name is Taboo not some silly name that some of you call him. I want all of you to mind your own business and leave my cat alone. I don't want you even talking to him. If I catch anyone feeding Taboo, I want you on notice NOW!!!!!!! I will terminate your employment. IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Exhibit b) From an apartment building in Austin, Texas…

Please do not feed or have the grey tabby in your home.

related: Cat fight!

extra credit: Radiolab: Parasites

Tags: Austin · California · CAPS LOCK · cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Escape poodle

December 7th, 2009 · 219 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Canada says his apartment building has been having some crime issues lately that has the residents all aflutter — resulting (according to the following note) in a modern-day witch hunt…Canadian-style!

Just because I have a lot of tattoos doesn't mean I'm a drug dealer!

Jay darling, I think everybody in your building owes you a big fat hug.

related: On jamming

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Canada · CAPS LOCK · drugs · malapropisms · neighbors

Euphemisms of disturb

December 2nd, 2009 · 335 Comments

Our submitter in Dublin, California was leaving her apartment for work one morning when she found this syntactically-challenged note stuck to the door. “I assume my anonymous complaining neighbor has the wrong apartment number because A) My husband and I do not have children and B) For all but one of the dates listed no one was home to make any noise.”

She adds: ” We do, however, have other neighbors next door who are quite loud, and I’ve often been woken up to the sounds of moans, grunts and something heavy slamming into an adjoining wall.” (You know, just like that part in Big where they play pinball and jump on the trampoline!)

“When my husband saw this he laughed pretty hard and wondered aloud weather ‘kids jumping on the bed‘ was a euphemism for loud sex.”

euphemisms of disturb

related: Down and dirty down under (dear)

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Kiss your mother with that mouth?

November 12th, 2009 · 103 Comments

As Lachlan in Melbourne points out, for 4 and 6 years old these kids have pretty good writing skills (with the exception of that little “hyph:-colon”). But lawdy, kids today and their language!

Kiss your mother with that mouth?

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…

If you know this plant over and kill it, I will fucking kill you & your fucking family! xoxo

And in Philadelphia (as spotted by Tash, who is not a yuppie)…

WARNING: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you! Sincerely, the miserable overprivileged yuppie cunts in the condo monstrosity across the street

related: The right to bear fruit

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · xoxo