Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

911? I’m calling to report a serious disturbance of my beauty sleep.

June 24th, 2010 · 159 Comments

“I mean, it sucks about your black eye and all, but HELLO — do you see these dark circles under MY eyes?”

This site has seen its share of tasteless notes, but…really? The mind boggles.

Domestic Violence isn't cool but neither is keeping us all awake at 2 A.M.! Please consider others! We hear you.

related: Don’t die; it’s expensive.

extra credit: When domestic violence erupts, what should a neighbor do? [AP]

Tags: a little insensitive · Calgary · neighbors · noise · WTF?

No snitchin’

June 21st, 2010 · 91 Comments

“So, this note was left in my mailbox (along with those of our other neighbors, I assume) back in March,” says our submitter in Connecticut. Although this one starts with out with seems like run-of-the-mill suburban blahblahblah, the second paragraph throws out a hell of a curveball.

Dear Neighbor: A member of the Health Department knocked on my door today to report a complaint of stagnant water in the swimming pool in my backyard. It was reported to them that the pool has been idle for two years and has standing stagnant water in it. Let me assure you that when we decided not to open the pool (to swim in) last summer, we contacted the Health Department and had to go down there and sign for (there is a public record of this) mosquito larvae killer tablets. The pool was treated all spring, summer, and fall last year (2009). Sometime after we closed the pool last fall, we noticed this winter that all of the water had drained out of it. The recent rains have left water in there for now and the pool is being treated once again with the mosquito larvae killer tablets. We hope to have the leak in the pool repaired this summer and have it operational, but until that time it will be treated appropriately. In 30 days, I will request via the Freedom of Information Act who reported this Health Violation to the city without having the courtesy to even inquire of me what the status of the pool is. At that time, I will publish that person's name as it will be a matter of public record. Thank you for your time and concern. Your Neighbor

“To be honest, I’m surprised the notewriter hasn’t taken to the street with a megaphone, demanding that the cowards who called the Health Department show themselves,” our submitter says. No such luck, however. ”My wife and I are dying to know who the snitch was,” he says, “but we’ve been left hanging!”

He adds: “I’ve considered mailing the writer an anonymous note stating that, strictly speaking, leaving notes in our mailboxes without paying postage is a violation of federal law. You know,  just to throw some fuel on the fire.” (I’d say submitting the note to this note is probably good enough.)

related: Thanks for your concern, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Tags: Connecticut · MYOB · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops?

We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you started posting notes)

June 16th, 2010 · 135 Comments

Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)

If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?

To the INDIGENT who stole MY dryer sheet and MY quarter that I left on MY washer while MY clothes were washing..and yes, I know who you are... Are you THAT fuckin poor that you have to steal a quarter??  Grow the fuck up.  We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you moved here). I've left quarters and dryer sheets on my washer many times, and they've never been taken til now. You can tape a dollar to this note if you have any kind of a conscience...otherwise, expect some bad karma comin back at ya...

related: I know where you live, laundry thief

Tags: ellipses-crazed · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · grow up · I know who you are · karma's a bitch · laundry · message to all intended for one · money · neighbors · stealing · Tucson

My bite is worse than your bark

June 14th, 2010 · 107 Comments

Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.

In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”

Dear Sir or Madam, This must come to an end! Last year, every night for almost an entire summer, your dogs would bark late into the night disturbing my peace and thus threatening my sanity as I was allowed only a few precious hours of sleep per night. For some reason, this has not occurred often recently, and for that I am grateful. However, tonight, that peace was once again broken. I am certain that I am not the only neighbor in the area who has been kept awake because of your pets.I am a fourteen year old student, trying my hardest to complete my sophomore year of high school maintaining good grades. However, to do this, I need to be paying attention in my classes. To do this, I need to be awake, and in order to stay awake, I need to be able to sleep at night. This evening, I was very glad because I finished all the things that I needed to do earlier than usual (despite my inability to concentrate on a book for English due to the incessant barking) and was ready to go to bed at 10:30 p.m. However, once I was in bed, the dogs started to get noisy again. I tried to ignore it, but after half-an hour of restlessness, I finally got up, got dressed and came over to your house and rang your door-bell. I was not surprised that you were not at home, because I assume that if you were, you would not have tolerated the animals' behavior. I do not know if you even realize that whenever you are away, your dogs bark on and off all through the night, so now I am telling you. Please take whatever actions necessary to ensure that this bad habit ends here, whether that means just locking them inside while you are away, or possibly leaving them with friends or if it comes down to it, in a kennel. I know that I would appreciate it, as well as my family and assuming the surrounding neighbors would as well. Please, do not allow your animals behavior to deprive us of the sleep that we need to function reasonably and sanely. Thank You, Kristi

Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”

related: Your to lazy

Tags: dogs · kids · neighbors · nice stationery · noise · Portland

Wake me up, Scotty!

June 10th, 2010 · 105 Comments

Too busy to microwave your morning serving of saturated fat? No worries! If you’re a New Yorker, you can get your “special diet food” delivered right to your door. Or, um, your neighbors’ doors.

An open letter to “Scotty,” who presumably lives in this building.  Hey Scotty, here’s a wacky idea for you – next time you order food delivery maybe you should remember to tell them which apartment you live in.   Now, god bless you for ordering McDonald’s at 7:15am - you must have been in pretty rough shape if you couldn’t walk your ass 3 minutes down the block to pick up an egg McMuffin yourself.  But to be honest, it’s pretty annoying to be woken up three times by the delivery guy knocking on my door (I told him I wasn’t Scotty and didn’t order McDonalds, but I guess he didn’t believe me the first two times). And it was especially awesome when he just started yelling your name in the hallway in hopes that you’d hear him. Thanks for that, really appreciate it.

Our anonymous submitter can vouch for the note’s veracity. First of all, she says, the McDonalds is literally one block away from the apartment building. “But what’s worse,” she says, “is that the dude didn’t give his apartment number, so the delivery guy just started banging on random people’s doors and yelling ‘Scotty!’  in the hallway. At 7 AM!”

related: The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet

Tags: food · knocking · McDonalds · neighbors · New York · noise · thanks (but not really)

Feel free to apologize

May 16th, 2010 · 39 Comments

“I found this posted on every vertical object within a block radius around Adam’s Point in Oakland,” says submitter JasonP. (I particularly enjoy point #4 of the response.)

Just a point of advice - If you're going to vandalize someone's building, don't be stupid enough to put the same logo on your vehicle and park it 4 blocks away 4 days later. Now I have your license plate number. Enjoy speaking with the cops.   1. I DID NOT

Meanwhile, a set of neighbors in Vancouver, B.C. were tussling over a similar case of mistaken identity.

Feel free to apologise

related: I’m not creepy, in fact…I’m quite gay.

extra credit: “But he was dressed like a ‘gang person,’ you guys!”

Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · graffiti · mistaken identity · neighbors · noise · Oakland · Oops? · rebuttals · Vancouver · vandalism

Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

May 12th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

Do you see a fucking sign outside that says free parking?!!!! Get your freaking girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, crack dealer, etc. to go park somewhere else!!!! Just because you copulate on a regular basis doesn't mean they are entitled to make this their own personal free parking lot. I dish out over $500 fucking dollars a month to live here and so it is total and utter bullshit when I come back from campus at 3:15 in the fucking morning after a long ass day of work and I have to go find someplace else to park my car so I don't have to get a fucking ticket. If you are not paying rent here, go find some other fucking place to park your fucking car!

related: When parking gets political

Tags: bold underlined italics · car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · jealous much? · Massachusetts · neighbors · parking · rebuttals

Killing it with kindness

April 16th, 2010 · 82 Comments

So, Brandon in San Diego had a party, and apparently people stayed out pretty late playing beer pong in the yard — a yard which happens to be just outside the bedroom window of the neighbors, an older couple in their 70s. The morning after, our submitter Mallory says, Brandon woke up to find this taped to his front door.

Final score: Brandon, o. Sweet little old lady, EPIC WIN!

Dear Brandon,  I'm so glad you're my friend...

The world is a much better place with you in it! But 3 a.m. is not a good time to play in the yard.

related: My condolences on your birthday

Tags: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · noise · old folks · San Diego

Scottish blinking balls

April 1st, 2010 · 92 Comments

I don’t know what this note is really about — Shane in Dallas just said he found it on the bulletin board in his apartment building — but I know I definitely won’t be stopping by #2913 to “talk” it over.

(It just, uh, doesn’t sound like my scene.)

To the Person who has two of our blinking garden balls, taken from #2913... Don't forget, we still have 5 more ...wouldn't want you to not to have a complete set! These came from Scotland. Why don't you stop by, and we'll "talk" it over....? :)

related: you can have the inflatable bananas

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · kinda creepy · neighbors · smiley · WTF?

I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!

March 25th, 2010 · 77 Comments

Our submitter and his wife in Loveland, Colorado used to work the night shift together, and they’d generally get home around 3 or 4 in the morning. “We did try our best to keep quiet,” our submitter says…but apparently their best wasn’t good enough for one of their neighbors. They never actually met this particular neighbor, but they did find this note on their door one night.

This note appears to be the work of the a non-native English speaker, so it’s not the grammar here that I’d like to draw attention to. Actually, what impressed me is what a perfectly clear picture this note paints of the writer’s mental state. ”I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!” — complete with the six trailing exclamation points — does that not just say it all?

Be quiet!!!! You make to [sic] loud at nite!! Please not make loud!! I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!

related: euphemisms of disturb

Tags: Colorado · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · noise · spelling and grammar police · to/too