Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

WiFi for passive-aggressives

December 30th, 2009 · 168 Comments

When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors.

YourDogShitsInMyYard

3rdFloorAssholeSTFUOnYourBalcony

Icanhereyouhavingsex [sic]

Caitlin stop using our Internet!

please no more grindcore at 3am

Stop being so fucking loud.

plzstopfuckingsoloudly

We can hear you having sex.

(Thanks to submitters Paul in St. Paul, Stirling in Salt Lake City, Arcadiy in Seattle, Denise in Rochester, Sara in Berkeley, Liz in Austin, Breanne in Oklahoma City, and Payal in Pleasanton, California…all of whom, no doubt, have secured wi-fi networks. Right, guys?)

related: Why-fi

P.S. Like this post? See more like this by following @panotes on Twitter, on Facebook, or via RSS!

Tags: dogs · most popular notes of 2009 · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex

Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

December 29th, 2009 · 86 Comments

Hey, so do you remember hearing about how crazy cat ladies might be explained by the Toxoplasma parasite? (No? Then listen to this episode of Radiolab. It’s pretty awesome.) Well, Toxo may or may not explain these notes.

Exhibit a) Spotted by Shane at an office in Upland, California…

"Regarding my cat": His name is Taboo not some silly name that some of you call him. I want all of you to mind your own business and leave my cat alone. I don't want you even talking to him. If I catch anyone feeding Taboo, I want you on notice NOW!!!!!!! I will terminate your employment. IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!

Exhibit b) From an apartment building in Austin, Texas…

Please do not feed or have the grey tabby in your home.

related: Cat fight!

extra credit: Radiolab: Parasites

Tags: Austin · California · CAPS LOCK · cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · MYOB · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · rebuttals · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Escape poodle

December 7th, 2009 · 219 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Canada says his apartment building has been having some crime issues lately that has the residents all aflutter — resulting (according to the following note) in a modern-day witch hunt…Canadian-style!

Just because I have a lot of tattoos doesn't mean I'm a drug dealer!

Jay darling, I think everybody in your building owes you a big fat hug.

related: On jamming

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Canada · CAPS LOCK · drugs · malapropisms · neighbors

Euphemisms of disturb

December 2nd, 2009 · 335 Comments

Our submitter in Dublin, California was leaving her apartment for work one morning when she found this syntactically-challenged note stuck to the door. “I assume my anonymous complaining neighbor has the wrong apartment number because A) My husband and I do not have children and B) For all but one of the dates listed no one was home to make any noise.”

She adds: ” We do, however, have other neighbors next door who are quite loud, and I’ve often been woken up to the sounds of moans, grunts and something heavy slamming into an adjoining wall.” (You know, just like that part in Big where they play pinball and jump on the trampoline!)

“When my husband saw this he laughed pretty hard and wondered aloud weather ‘kids jumping on the bed‘ was a euphemism for loud sex.”

euphemisms of disturb

related: Down and dirty down under (dear)

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Kiss your mother with that mouth?

November 12th, 2009 · 103 Comments

As Lachlan in Melbourne points out, for 4 and 6 years old these kids have pretty good writing skills (with the exception of that little “hyph:-colon”). But lawdy, kids today and their language!

Kiss your mother with that mouth?

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…

If you know this plant over and kill it, I will fucking kill you & your fucking family! xoxo

And in Philadelphia (as spotted by Tash, who is not a yuppie)…

WARNING: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you! Sincerely, the miserable overprivileged yuppie cunts in the condo monstrosity across the street

related: The right to bear fruit

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · xoxo

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts”

November 1st, 2009 · 329 Comments

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: nosy neighbors in provo, utah

related: A substance user and a player!

Tags: "helpful" advice · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Provo · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback · Utah

You’re very welcome!

October 20th, 2009 · 136 Comments

Jonathan, John and Michael  share a roof deck with their next-door neighbors in San Francisco, who Jonathan says “repeatedly, and seemingly sincerely, invited us to use their barbecue grill any old time.”

One weekend, JJ&M decided to take them up on their offer. They organized a small cook-out for friends and (oh-so-thoughtfully) invited the neighbors to join. “They did,” Jonathan says, “and a good time was had by all.”

Then, the next day, this gracious thank-you note was slipped under their door.

passiveaggressivenotes: Thank you note: You're very welcome!

related: blowing smoke

Tags: neighbors · San Francisco · sharing is caring · thanks (but not really)

Buy curtains. Please.

October 5th, 2009 · 162 Comments

Writes Michael in Chicago: “Apparently, some of our neighbors had a problem with us being naked in our apartment.” Without knowing any other details of this situation, I’d have to say:

a) “Be more private with yourself” is a phrase I am going to try to work into future conversations whenever possible.

b) Michael, while I 100% support your right to bare all in your own home…curtains still might be a worthwhile investment.

problems with the nude

Meanwhile, Scott in Seattle found this note taped to the front door of his apartment building. “Needless to say,” Scott adds, the next time he saw the large bald man from the third floor in the building’s laundry room, “it was a touch awkward.”

i know you have shades...so don't masturbate in front of your windows!

related: get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

extra credit: man arrested for being naked in his own home [WTOP news]

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Chicago · neighbors