Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

A new tagline for The Price is Right?

November 25th, 2008 · 288 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in New Jersey found this note taped to every apartment door in his complex. “We do indeed have a problem with feral cats in our neighborhood, but my sense is that they’ve been around for many (cat) generations…not that people are buying new ones.”

Attention Cat "Owners"

Adds our submitter: “Now that I think about it, I’m probably a bad person for finding this funny, but really, the all-bold, all-caps “LET HER DEATH BE ON YOUR HEAD!!!” is just so perfectly over the top. Personally, I would have gone with “A POX ON ALL YOUR HOUSES!!!”

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: cats · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guests · neighbors · New Jersey

And all the pieces matter

October 28th, 2008 · 88 Comments

“If it wasn’t for the handwriting,” says Lauren in California, “I would have guessed my mom wrote it.”

Meanwhile, Carson in Valencia found this note (crudely laminated with packing tape) attached to a tree while walking his dog in the park. “Maybe next time Maggie will think twice about leaving her ceramic cats unattended,” he says.

And in Seattle…

Hey! Those pots were not FREE! give them back!

“In the pot-snatcher’s defense, people leave furniture and the like on the street all over this area of town as acts of charity, so it definitely would have been an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Josef says, adding: “When I took this picture, the homeowner was glaring at me from the garage the whole time. Bad vibes, man.”

related: Neighborhood Crazy-Watch

Tags: apostrophe abuse · California · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · emdash overboard · garbage · neighbors · rhetorical question · Seattle · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are

Desperate times

October 13th, 2008 · 79 Comments

Need another sign we’re officially in a recession? How ’bout three?

Please return My (not your) BIKE PUMP

Did you forget to return my BIKE PUMP?

I MISS MY BIKE PUMP

related: “No” questions asked

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · bicycle · California · excessive underlining · neighbors · San Francisco · smiley · thx

The slow build

October 9th, 2008 · 106 Comments

Like so many passive-aggressive notewriters, the author of this note — which Sarah in Brockton, Mass. says was posted in the elevator, front hallway, back hallway and the mailroom of her building after a particularly rowdy Friday — just can’t seem to fully commit to sarcasm as a rhetorical technique.

Thank you Unit 205. Let's all be sure to thank unit 205 for the party last night. We should all feel lucky that we have a neighbor so considerate that they bring people into our building that treat it like a frat house. Your scumbag friends (the ones that were swearing at your neighbors) seem like really nice people. PIGS!!!

(You know, because otherwise people might not get it!!!)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

Tags: Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · thanks (but not really)

Buskers & broomsticks

September 18th, 2008 · 206 Comments

Zora Zero spotted this ongoing street-musician spat in Portobello Road Market, London.

BUSKERS Please note: WE LIVE HERE. We can't hear TV/radios or open windows when you play. Buskers who play here have had + and will have water thrown on them and the police called. Please be kind enough to play elsewhere. Thank you

I’m not a Londoner, but living near Portobello Road and complaining about the buskers seems like living near Times Square and complaining about the lights, no?  I was cheered, therefore, to see the responses added by other more busker-friendly neighbo(u)rs at the bottom of the original note.

Buskers, we live here as well and we miss you!!

Admits our submitter (who described herself as “team foreigner, with busker sympathies”): “the paint on the railing was indeed being damaged by the original anti-busking clear-plastic-envelope-taping resident.”

related: I used to be your biggest fan

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cry me a freaking river · London · music · neighbors · noise · p.s. · saga · U.K.

Lost & found

September 16th, 2008 · 137 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in California is not the resident of Apartment 105, but she knew exactly who this note was intended for. “The dude in 105 lets his dog out, deposit her gifts on the sidewalk, and then run back. Dude stands and watches her, perfectly at his ease,” she says. “This has been going on for as long as I’ve lived here, so I guess someone finally got fed up.”

Property of Apt. 105

Adds our submitter: “This is not the first time I’ve seen a note like this. The shameless are immune to passive-aggression.”

related: passive-allergic

Tags: actions speak louder · California · dogs · neighbors · shit

The right to bear fruit

August 27th, 2008 · 172 Comments

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

To the people who keep digging up and stealing plants from this garden...The surrounding neighbors have been alerted and are keeping watch now. (Some are ex-Military are not afraid to chase after you or shout.) I'm serious!!! This is private property! You are trespassing and committing a crime. I'm not rich and I like my garden go get a second job if you want plants! I'm warning you!

2. Macon, Georgia

To the Fucktard who stole my watermellon [sic]: It was not even RIPE yet. But I'm sure you didn't notice when you were high on crack. Leave my fucking plants alone! —Proud owner of a .45 and a 38 special

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The Mayor and The Police have been notified — WATCHING for any more Flower destruction and Theft

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

Tags: Austin · blame it on the crackhead · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · Macon · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Pittsburgh · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Mahvelous, just mahvelous

August 4th, 2008 · 274 Comments

Writes Michael in Milton Keynes, England: “I have an ex-service ambulance which I use as a van. I had parked it on the road round the corner from me for a couple of weeks, and after two days I got a call from the town council’s abandoned vehicle unit. Then I got a few calls from the police. Today, when I decided to move it, I found this note on the window. I was almost tempted to buy something and abandon it there for real now…but that would be bad, wouldn’t it?”

related: But He took the wheel

Tags: "polite notice" · parking · there goes the neighborhood · U.K.

Passive-aggressive mad libs

July 30th, 2008 · 132 Comments

This note from a “friendly neighbor” was put through the mailslot of Dan’s apartment in the heart of South Philly. Says Dan: “I wanted to put ‘thanks for the advice!’ on the door in response, but thought better of it.”

Hey, Trash goes out Tuesday Night after 7:00 p.m. + should be put out on the curb, not against the house. You may want to invest in trash cans for the back of the property or ask the owner of the building to do so. Thanks, Friendly Neighbor

As infuriating as the note was, “I do love how they phoned in the underlining on ‘of’ and ‘the,’ then went to town with ‘curb,’” Dan says. “Thank you, friendly neighbor, for the best piece of bulletin board material I’ve ever gotten.”

related: Two birds with one snowman

Tags: excessive underlining · garbage · gloriously redundant · neighbors · Philadelphia

Cue the violins

July 25th, 2008 · 209 Comments

When Sheena in Austin spotted this note on her neighbor’s front door, she couldn’t help but wonder: “If your doormat has sentimental value, maybe it should be hanging on your wall instead of sitting on the ground?”

To whoever stole my doormat: PLEASE bring it back! It was a gift & has sentimental value! Be a grown up! Thanks, Alex

related: Wrath mat

extra credit: Sentimental value: clothing stories from eBay

Tags: Austin · eBay · excessive underlining · grow up · neighbors · stealing