Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

Jock block

May 5th, 2014 · 52 Comments

Michael in Las Vegas went to pick up his mail today and spotted this cocky little note:

Whoever has my package that was delivered Wednesday April 23.....I hope you are enjoying my athletic supporter. It's to protect your balls....which obviously you have none! [sic]

related: Your ultra charmin’ neighbor

Tags: Las Vegas · neighbors · stealing

Taking the trash out with your junk out

March 27th, 2014 · 42 Comments

Colette recently caught a glimpse of this note — though not the offender in question — in her U.K. apartment building.

To the man at no. 105: When taking your bins out please cover up. I don't want my kids seeing your genitals. Regards, The Rest of the Building

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: actually totally reasonable · garbage · neighbors · Won't somebody think of the children?

Good subs, bad subs

March 19th, 2014 · 71 Comments

Short, and if not necessarily sweet, it gets the point across. I think I’d have to give this sign a snarky thumbs up.

(don't) drop the bass

related: On jamming

Tags: music · neighbors · noise · smartass

I don’t know you, and this is crazy, but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

February 3rd, 2014 · 80 Comments

Writes Candice in Kansas: “I woke up to this on my car this morning. I don’t not know if I should be pissed they are creepin’ on my man or to just laugh uncontrollably.”

(Dear notewriter: Notice she didn’t say “…or stop parking there.”)

Hi, I don't really know you, in fact, I don't at all! You live upstairs and have a hot boyfriend/maybe just a roommate or friend with an adorable puppy. One time, however, you did give me a dirty look, but I've gotten over it. I write this to beg you to stop being lazy with your parking. I get it, t's cold. Life sucks and who wants to park in back. But where you parked now is blocking cars from getting in the drive. You totally are an inventor because you invented some new LAZY GIRL SPOT that's 4 feet from the door! I think you're a brilliant inventor but maybe move back 10 feet. You're not the only person alive! p.s. SORRY NOTE SORRY I love your boyfriend

related: She’s mine. All mine!

 

Tags: Kansas · kinda creepy · neighbors · parking

The cowardly lawn

January 22nd, 2014 · 83 Comments

Writes Claire in Cincinnati: “This individual moved in a month ago and is already getting into a note war with the neighbors!”

To the 'neighbors': Thanks for the letter. Worry about yourself. Not my lawn. For our real neighbors, we apologize. Thanks for being a coward!

To the 'neighbors': Thanks for the letter. Worry about yourself. Not my lawn. For our real neighbors, we apologize. Thanks for being a coward!

related: An eyesore for an eyesore

Tags: Cincinnati · neighbors · public shaming · thanks (but not really)

A Snowball’s chance

November 20th, 2013 · 205 Comments

Our unapologetic submitter, Patrick from Orlando, Florida, says he’s always been more of a dog person. One day, he says, “I got fed up with the perpetual harassment of this neighborhood cat: getting into my trash, jumping onto my car, and might have even given me ringworm once.” His response?

I have shitty owners who don't feed me and let me run wild so I harass the neighbors. Signed, Snowball

Adds Patrick: “Crazy cat ladies must have some sort of sixth sense because I had an angry visitor at my front door within 15 minutes. To this day, Snowball still roams free.”

Snowball

related: The story of STUPID CAT

extra credit: Call for Cat Curfew [thecourier.com.au]

Tags: cats · neighbors · Orlando

Things that go bump in the night

November 17th, 2013 · 52 Comments

Today on Passive-Aggressive Poetry Corner: A note our submitter from Maryland found slid under the door of her top-floor apartment.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're real loud Here's a list of things you do:  1. you stomp real loud like a hefalump 2. you move your furniture like you're an interior designer 3. there is a weird noise that happens in your common area 4. the steps you take sound like forced stomps 5. the loud noises happen at all hours We understand that you don't have to listen to people above you but please realize there are people underneath you

related: Ever wonder what it would be like sharing an office with William Carlos Williams?

Tags: Maryland · neighbors · noise · pure poetry

(Cat) Lady of the Night

October 22nd, 2013 · 95 Comments

Dear late-night cat: plz discipline ur lady. kthxbai.

A MESSAGE TO THE LATE NIGHT CAT LADY  1. DO YOU REALLY THINK STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AT 1 AM AND CALLING IN A HIGH, LOUD VOICE IS THE BEST WAY TO BRING HOME YOUR CAT?  2. DO YOU BELIEVE YOUR CAT CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE AND NOT YOUR NEIGHBORS?  3. DO YOU IMAGINE YOUR NEIGHBORS ENJOY YOU WAKING THEM FROM SLEEP AT 12, 1, OR 2 AM ON A NEARLY DAILY BASIS?  SUGGESTIONS: 1. BRING YOUR CAT IN BEFORE 10 PM.  2. REALIZE THAT YOUR VOICE CARRIES AND THE HOUSES ON THIS STREET ARE CLOSE TOGETHER.  3. CONSIDER GETTING A DIFFERENT PET - MAYBE A GOLDFISH.

related: Please walk your elephant quietly!

Tags: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · noise · Oakland

The mystery of the mischievous, murderous cat

October 16th, 2013 · 77 Comments

Toby in the U.K. found this note taped to his front door, and found it a bit baffling — not to mention disturbing — given that he doesn’t own a cat. “I can only imagine what these ‘defensive measures’ might be,” Toby says. “I hope the cat in question can avoid them.”

And when it comes to the idea of “disciplining” your cat, I can’t even imagine what that might mean.

(just click the image below to enlarge)

Dear Neighbour,  Please can you stop your cat coming into my house. I have to leave my cat flap open for my cat but your cat is causing lots of mischeif. It is a black long haired cat I have seen you feeding him so I know he is your cat. She has already pooped on my rug which cost £50 (and another £30 to clean) and last week he was trying to murder the goldfish in my pond. Please discipline your cat or I will be forced to take defensive measures, and it would be better for all concerned if it does not come to that.  With Kind Regards, Howard  (From No. 32, the house with the blue door)

related: Your cat. Your choice.

Tags: cats · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · questionable logic · U.K.

My neighbor, the nihilist

October 13th, 2013 · 49 Comments

Hannah in Austin made the poster to the right — inspired by one of her favorite poets, Mary Oliver — and hung it in her window. A few weeks later, she woke up to find that her next-door neighbor had added a piece of his own.

ONE WILD PRECIOUS LIFE  - ONE BORING POINTLESS EXISTENCE

related: I have a problem with your window manners

Tags: Austin · neighbors · smartass