Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

My neighbor, the nihilist

October 13th, 2013 · 49 Comments

Hannah in Austin made the poster to the right — inspired by one of her favorite poets, Mary Oliver — and hung it in her window. A few weeks later, she woke up to find that her next-door neighbor had added a piece of his own.

ONE WILD PRECIOUS LIFE  - ONE BORING POINTLESS EXISTENCE

related: I have a problem with your window manners

Tags: Austin · neighbors · smartass

Trash talk

October 8th, 2013 · 16 Comments

Our submitter in Chicago says that there a used to be a trash can near the front door of her apartment building, but because it was always overwhelming with doggie poop bags and other smelly trash, she wasn’t sad to see it go. Apparently, some of her neighbors are still in denial.

Attn: In case you haven't notice, there is NO trashcan in this space any more. Please be kind and take your petty trash out 5 steps to the dumpster, instead of leaving it here for someone else to clean up. THANKS. —a resident who throws their trash in its proper place  FUCK YOU! WHERE'S THE FUCKING TRASH CAN? -PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE RESIDENT

related: I don’t want to touch the bathroom door handle, so I’m just going to toss my paper towel on the floor

Tags: Chicago · garbage · neighbors · rebuttals · that's trashy

Cracks, holes, and hot air

August 19th, 2013 · 31 Comments

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “We do not have air-conditioned hallways in my building, so there’s been an ongoing debate on my floor about how open the hallway windows need to be for maximum airflow.” Suddenly…SCIENCE!

Dear Neighbor - MORE air comes into the building when the window is cracked slightly. NOT fully open. Its simple physics. Love your neighbor.   Simple Physics? Please elaborate.   Smaller Hole = Greater vac suction See: Pressure diff hot air formula (?)  Please be sure to calculate ?P in ALL orifice conditions in your fluid model

related: A/C, windows, and Kelvin’s law of thermodynamics

Tags: It's science! · neighbors · Philadelphia · signed with love · temperature

Raid in the Shade

August 1st, 2013 · 87 Comments

Writes our submitter in Denver: “I parked my ’82 VW van in the closest guest spot to my home about a week ago, as I’ve been cleaning it out to sell it. Then I was sick for a few days so I didn’t leave the house. Today I found this on the windshield.”

Are you storing your car here? You can't have a prime shady spot!! Do you own or rent? Your OLD car should be parked in the center, let newer cars have the shade. But I guess its all about you. Move your car! or I'll be the one calling on you next time!

related: It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

Tags: car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · parking · so this is a thing?

Your cat. Your choice.

July 25th, 2013 · 240 Comments

Submission-wise, it’s been a slow week. So, hey, why not open the can of worms that is The Great Outdoor Cat Debate? (Eeek.)

Amy says her Atlanta neighborhood is constantly plastered with “missing cat” signs. This one, though, was a little different.

If you own a gray tabby cat with a collar, read this. Your cat is spending its days in my backyard. I have bird feeders and there are chipmunks around. When I try to be nice to the cat to be able to read its collar and find out where its home is, it hisses and growls. This is fair warning. The next time I see your cat in my backyard, I will throw something heavy at it. I have pretty good aim. So if you don't want a vet bill, keep your cat indoors. If it kills a bird at one of my feeders, I will hire someone to catch it and take it to animal control. Your cat. Your choice.

related: Barking Mad

Tags: Atlanta · cats · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · warning

Actually, we have a garden for that

July 22nd, 2013 · 54 Comments

Rachel in the U.K. found this note pushed through the letterbox this morning. “This the first note either I or my boyfriend have had regarding any kind of ‘leek,’” she says. “I just checked both the bathroom and the kitchen for anything watery where it shouldn’t be and there’s nothing, so I’m very confused. I’m not sure what she wants us to sort, either. Exciting stuff!”

This is the second time Ive had to wright to you. and I'm slowly getting annoyed. You seem to have a leek in your bathroom that is slowly ruining my newly decorated bathroom. I now have bubbles and cracks in my ceiling which will now need repainting! If you don't get it sorted I will and the bill will be fixed to your address! No. 26

related: Drippy faucets

Tags: bathroom · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · U.K.

Please take your pants out of the window

July 11th, 2013 · 54 Comments

“Every once in awhile,” writes Sarah in San Diego, “some disgruntled person in my condo building slides a (always unsigned) note under my door declaring their fury at some minor offense. This is the latest.”

Pls take your pants out of the window. This is a holiday! Everyone is laughing. Thank you.

“For the record,” Sarah adds, “said pants were bright-pink Lilly Pulitzer circa 1985; put near a window to dry — I don’t trust my thrift shop purchases to just any dryer — and I think only added to the general festivity of July 4th as they fluttered in the cross breeze!”

related: Sentimental pants

Tags: neighbors · San Diego

Could you please tone down your atheism?

July 9th, 2013 · 135 Comments

Matt found this note outside his house in Minneapolis, and says he hasn’t the slightest idea what sort of “godless activities” Barb & Tom could be hinting at.

Hi! We're your new neighbors! Our little girl is very young and impressionable and we would like to know if you could tone down your godless activities when she's home from school. Thanx so much! Barb & Tom

related: Risky business

Tags: God · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · Won't somebody think of the children?

Show yourself!

July 8th, 2013 · 33 Comments

Our submitter says this sign — written in marker on a section of faux wainscoting paneling — appeared last week in front of a neighbor’s house, deep in the foothills of Appalachia. I’m not sure who did the yelling,” our submitter adds, “but I now feel the uncontrollable urge to yell “PU@@Y!” every time I pass by.”

TO THE PERSON WHO YELLED PU@@Y AT ME WHILE DRIVING BY: COME SEE ME AND WE WILL FIND OUT WHO IS SCARED! SHOW YOURSELF

Slightly more mysterious is this sign, which showed up one day on a dead-end country road in Washington state. Says our submitter, Chris: “There aren’t that many neighbors out here, so it would not have been too hard to find the ’1st class jerk.’”

 To the guy driving the black pickup with two German Shepheds [sic] You're a 1st class JERK!

But the most mysterious of them all comes to us from Providence, Rhode Island. Says Melinda: “My neighbors are all friendly and we all know each other’s first names, so I have no idea why they would put such an ominous sign in their yard. But why else would you post this sign unless it was for someone that might see it?”

Shame on you you know who you are!

related: Cell phones kill ‘possums!

Tags: driving · neighbors · pointlessly self-censored profanity · small town living · you know who you are

Leave kitty alone!

July 1st, 2013 · 91 Comments

Writes Susan in Delaware: “My family and I live in a very large apartment complex and recently discovered a mother cat and her five kittens living in the bushes. We called a local trap/neuter/return charity so that we could get the kittens and her mom basic vet care, shots, and neutering. We posted notes next to each trap explaining exactly what we were doing, and that all housecats with collars/tags would be immediately released.”

Over the course of a week, Susan says, no non-feral cats were caught, but for whatever reason one of the neighbors decided to steal all of the traps and replace them with this lovely note.

FORGOTTEN IDIOTS We know you have no life but LEAVE OUR CATS ALONE and find something else to do with your sorry ass life. Some of us have Cats who we let out and have all their shots and we don't need your

“The kicker of all this is that trapping feral cats actually protects the health of house cats,” Susan says. “Even if their cat did get accidentally picked up it would have gotten free vet care, since I’m the one coughing up $35 per cat for the honor of watching, baiting, and setting the traps multiple times per day.”

Adds Susan: “The ‘Yetters’ mentioned is a nearby liquor store. I assume the writer of this note spends a lot of time there.”

related: “Place cats in box”

Tags: blame it on the crackhead · cats · Delaware · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"