Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

Show yourself!

July 8th, 2013 · 33 Comments

Our submitter says this sign — written in marker on a section of faux wainscoting paneling — appeared last week in front of a neighbor’s house, deep in the foothills of Appalachia. I’m not sure who did the yelling,” our submitter adds, “but I now feel the uncontrollable urge to yell “PU@@Y!” every time I pass by.”

TO THE PERSON WHO YELLED PU@@Y AT ME WHILE DRIVING BY: COME SEE ME AND WE WILL FIND OUT WHO IS SCARED! SHOW YOURSELF

Slightly more mysterious is this sign, which showed up one day on a dead-end country road in Washington state. Says our submitter, Chris: “There aren’t that many neighbors out here, so it would not have been too hard to find the ’1st class jerk.’”

 To the guy driving the black pickup with two German Shepheds [sic] You're a 1st class JERK!

But the most mysterious of them all comes to us from Providence, Rhode Island. Says Melinda: “My neighbors are all friendly and we all know each other’s first names, so I have no idea why they would put such an ominous sign in their yard. But why else would you post this sign unless it was for someone that might see it?”

Shame on you you know who you are!

related: Cell phones kill ‘possums!

Tags: driving · neighbors · pointlessly self-censored profanity · small town living · you know who you are

Leave kitty alone!

July 1st, 2013 · 91 Comments

Writes Susan in Delaware: “My family and I live in a very large apartment complex and recently discovered a mother cat and her five kittens living in the bushes. We called a local trap/neuter/return charity so that we could get the kittens and her mom basic vet care, shots, and neutering. We posted notes next to each trap explaining exactly what we were doing, and that all housecats with collars/tags would be immediately released.”

Over the course of a week, Susan says, no non-feral cats were caught, but for whatever reason one of the neighbors decided to steal all of the traps and replace them with this lovely note.

FORGOTTEN IDIOTS We know you have no life but LEAVE OUR CATS ALONE and find something else to do with your sorry ass life. Some of us have Cats who we let out and have all their shots and we don't need your

“The kicker of all this is that trapping feral cats actually protects the health of house cats,” Susan says. “Even if their cat did get accidentally picked up it would have gotten free vet care, since I’m the one coughing up $35 per cat for the honor of watching, baiting, and setting the traps multiple times per day.”

Adds Susan: “The ‘Yetters’ mentioned is a nearby liquor store. I assume the writer of this note spends a lot of time there.”

related: “Place cats in box”

Tags: blame it on the crackhead · cats · Delaware · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Take it sleazy

June 24th, 2013 · 59 Comments

Jeff in California was not too happy when a neighbor slapped this on his door. “I am a lover of vintage neon,” he says, “and do not drink Budweiser or hang out in dive bars.” (I’m guessing his neighbor didn’t catch the nuance.)

Please move your neon Budweiser sign so it is not visible from the outside. It looks very tacky and sleazy. I don't want to live across from a dive bar. Thank you for your understanding. Yours Truely, [sic] Your Neighbors

related: Tacky, you say?

Tags: a matter of taste · California · neighbors

Hey, Dumbo

May 21st, 2013 · 53 Comments

As it turns out, a surprisingly large number of American apartment buildings are pachyderm-friendly. (It’s the owners that are the problem, of course.)

Shh! Please walk your elephant quietly!

Dear neighbor, Do you look like this? If not then please stop jumping around. Sincerely, Person Below You

Please clean up after your elephant!

Dear Beach Girl, The elephant you're training keeps sitting on my Jetta. Also, your nunchuck stance is distracting passing motorists. Regards, Wilson

related: How now, Mad Cow?

Tags: neighbors · noise · shit

The naked truth

April 18th, 2013 · 56 Comments

Writes Nick in New York: “Those of you who have ever lived alone will remember the feeling of liberation and wild abandon that comes with getting your first solo space after a lifetime of family and crazy roommates.”

He continues: ”Unfortunately, I’ve got neighbors across a very narrow alley (about 6 feet across) and all our windows face each other. When I first moved in I noticed their shades were always down so I carried on with the kinds of things mid-20s guys do when they live alone. I have no idea what they had an opportunity to see, but it was enough to inspire them to post this note on all three windows. Whoops?”

To The New Neighbor Dear Neighbor: Welcome to the building. Given the close proximity of our windows and out of respect for each others' privacy, we would ask that you please pull your shade down to a reasonable height. Thank you.

related: Buy curtains. Please.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · New York

Are you a jerk turkey?

April 8th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Emptying the lint trap at the laundromat has never really bothered me, personally. At least one person in Denver, however, seems to mind a whole lot.

Casting Call! Audition! Are you a jerk turkey? An ass hat, and an all around D-bag? We're looking for YOU. Maybe you don't put the seat down after you use the bathroom.  Maybe you eat other people's food, or stiff people on their tip.  Or, MAYBE YOU DON'T EMPTY YOUR NASTY LINT TRAP AFTER DOING YOUR NASTY LAUNDRY.  Are you proud of being a dick? Celebrate! Rejoice in your complete idiocy, and lack of general consideration! We'll all be looking on in admiration as we scrape your disgusting dead skin cells and your stupid dogs hair out of your f***ing lint trap. It's lovely. Thank you for that.  CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF, PIGS.

related: There’s no spitting in laundry.

Tags: Denver · laundry · neighbors

Holy hydrangeas, Batman!

April 2nd, 2013 · 96 Comments

Stephen in Eugene, Oregon rode by this house on his bike and was a block away before he realized he had to go back and take a photo for posterity. “I question who is the good neighbor here,” Stephan says. “I suspect this is about more than just the hydrangeas. But maybe they just really want room to park another car on the lawn.”

BE A GOOD NEIGHBOR! :) Remove the OVERGROWN TREE!

related: And bad fences make bad neighbors?

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · Oregon · public shaming

Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

March 18th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”

Dear guys from 3D! :) I am the always dreaded downstairs neighbor. As much as I'm happy that you boys have a flourishing relationship...wait...that sounds stalkerish. I meant, I can only assume you have a flourishing relationship due to the fact that you shag. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Now I'm not saying to because you're a gay couple. I wouldn't care if you were flying, purple unicorn dinosaurs. In fact, I'm a huge gay rights supporter. But seriously, EVERY NIGHT?! It's awesome you have a healthy sex life but I don't want to hear it. I'm tired at the end of the night/day (I work irregular hours, you see) & being woken up by or coming home to what seems to be a torture session by the screaming and begging, is not my idea of refreshing. Don't stop by any means, but please quiet down, please? Besides that, you are delightful upstairs neighbors and seem awesome if your music is anything to go by! :) Sincerely - Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)

related: WE CAN SEE YOU

Tags: most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · painfully polite · Portland · sex sex sex · smiley

Shut the front door!

March 7th, 2013 · 57 Comments

There’s the New York approach:

Join the Quiet Club!

And then there’s the Chicago approach:

Door Slammers Anonymous  A support group for people who like to slam the back door.  Don't feel like you are alone in this world.  There are other people just like you, who like to slam the back door.  Meetings are every monday night in the basement at 8:00pm.  Coffee and donuts provided.

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

Tags: door-slamming · neighbors

Happy Moving!

March 4th, 2013 · 167 Comments

Writes Chelsa in Canada: “My first night moving in, I couldn’t find the bolts to put my bed frame back together, so I had to unpack some boxes and it was about 10 p.m. before I found them and could set up my bed. Moving sucks, right? Apparently at 10 p.m. on Saturday night, screwing in 8 bolts is THE WORST thing a person can do. This note was on my door in the morning.”

Good Morning! We noticed that you moved in last night. Welcome to the building! We also noticed that you are very handy with power tools; you like to build furniture and drag it and other things across hardwood floors. All we ask is that you could please refrain from doing these things after dark. Unfortunately for everyone this building is not in the least soundproof. We are also hoping that it's not too much to ask for you to not wear shoes across the hardwood floors; it's much louder for us than it is for you. We know we may be loud from time to time, but we will always try to be respectful of our neighbours. All we ask if for the same in return. Happy Moving :)

 

related: The Neighborhood Warning Wagon

Tags: Canada · neighbors · noise · smiley