Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

Peed off.

November 1st, 2012 · 79 Comments

Writes Jenny in San Diego: “There are four of these identical laminated signs posted at face height around the tiny front lawn of a house in my neighborhood. The lawn actually would look fine if it weren’t for the rude signs.”

Keep your bitches from urinating on the lawn. They are killing the grass.

related post:
Caught in the act
DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??

Tags: dogs · neighbors · piss · San Diego

Reason for Sale: Can’t Stand the Neighbors

October 26th, 2012 · 40 Comments

“To be fair,” says Loren in Ypsilanti, Michigan,“the owner does live on a popular dog-walking street. The trees are also gigantic, so I’m sure they have a ton of leaves to rake in the fall. Still, this seems a little harsh.”

Reason for sale; Can't stand the neighbors, sick of raking leafs [sic]. Hate the endless dog walking pissing on my property. Would rather live in a box then spend another year in Ypsi. I am a lifelong resident in this crappy town. Need a good house? My house is very clean. Leave a message. $200,000 firm.

related: House for rent — we have mold and roaches!

Tags: dogs · Michigan · neighbors · Ypsilanti

(We don’t speak dog)

October 25th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“About five months ago,” writes Catherine in Massachusetts, a new tenant moved in and began a new exercise regime: running back and forth in the building hallways. “His/her gait is rather lumbering and resonates throughout our apartment,” Catherine says. “We were startled at first, but have come to giggle over this frequent disruption. Apparently, one of our neighbors isn’t laughing.”

To the runner - please STOP RUNNING in the hallway To everyone else - if you're as annoyed as I am at the running, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk with him.

From there, things began to escalate. “Fortunately,” Catherine says, the ensuing flame war “just goes to show that most of our neighbors have a great sense of humor.”

To the adult-children: PLEASE GROW UP (you live in an apartment building) To everyone else If you are as annoyed as I am at the adult-children in the apartment - please ignore them until they speak to you directly about their issues, like adults...  To the dogs - please STOP YELLING AT US IN THE HALLWAY (we don't speak dog) To everyone else- If you're as annoyed as I am at the dog language in the hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about whose doing it. THey want to talk to the dog rif-raf.  To the adults - please STOP HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE HALLWAY To everyone else If you are as annoyed as I am at the enjoyment of life in our hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk to them.  To the residents - Please STOP USING THE HALLWAY To everyone else -  If you are as annoyed as I am at the use of our hallway, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it.  They want to talk to everyone.   To all the children- please: STOP CRYING, SQUEALING, WHINING, ACTING UP IN THE HALLWAY To everyone else- If you're as annoyed as I am at the crying, squealing, whining and acting up, please tell the office whatever you know about who's doing it. They want to talk to her.

related: The very delicate elevator

Tags: dogs · kids · Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · note wars · smartass

The cat came back

October 9th, 2012 · 67 Comments

I know I’m asking for trouble here, but when John in Missouri passed along this exchange between his father’s neighbor (an “interested animal lover”) and his father (a reluctant one), I just couldn’t resist.

Sir- I hope you are putting fresh water out for the gray cat on these very hot days. I see him laying out on your stoop looking miserable! It would be nice if he could come inside. The elderly lady that use to live there took good care of the cats. An interested Animal Lover

If the cat does not want to look quite so miserable it could go to the shade in the back yard. It will not drink water even on hottest days. I tried. I think the hot days are over. As you said, it is not my cat. It could sleep in garage if it wants to. It will not drink water, I have a witness. Please take the cat. Feed it. Water it. Please. Let it mess up your house.

Confidential to John’s Dad: I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

related: The Great Outdoor Cat Debate of 2012

Tags: "helpful" advice · cats · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · old folks

Happy Caturday!

September 22nd, 2012 · 103 Comments

Writes our submitter in Canada: “This is my neighbour’s cat, Byron. He’s a lovely boy, but given the chance, he’ll steal into my apartment and scarf down my cats’ kibble. The other day Bryon visited sporting this new heart-shaped tag.”

PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!

PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!

related post:

Please stop feeding my cat!

Tags: British Columbia · cats · neighbors

Before you came into my life I used to sleep in — I used to sleep, sleep in

September 18th, 2012 · 60 Comments

Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey you just moved here! And it's early! But here's my window! So Shut Up Maybe!

related post:

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

Tags: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley

You’re saying YOU have more than an eighth-grade education?

September 10th, 2012 · 51 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Toronto spotted this note — one copy in the elevator, and three copies taped to a couch that had been left near the dumpster in the building’s parking lot.

THIS MESSAGE GOES OUT TO THE MORON IN THIS BUILDING WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT THEIR COUCH AND BLANKET IN THE PARKING LOT. ON BEHALF OF THE RESIDENTS IN THIS BUILDING WHO HAVE MORE THAN A GRADE EIGHT EDUCATION, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU ACTUALLY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OVER YOUR CHOICES AND DISPOSE OF YOUR PURCHASES? IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU BOUGHT SUCH AND UGLY COUCH, BUT EVEN WORSE THAT YOU MAKE OTHER PEOPLE STARE AT IT. THE FACT THAT YOU LEFT IT HERE MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS. YOU EITHER HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A FIVE YEAR OLD OR YOUR RICH PARENTS BABIED YOU INTO THINKING THIS WAS ACCEPTABLE BEHAIVIOUR. EITHER WAY, IT'S THE SAME THING. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU'RE THE REASON EVOLUTION TAKES SO LONG.

Dear Sir: Your “behaiviour,” spelling, and poor understanding of evolutionary theory don’t suggest that you graduated at the top of your class, either.

THIS MESSAGE GOES OUT TO THE MORON IN THIS BUILDING WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO PUT THEIR COUCH AND BLANKET IN THE PARKING LOT. ON BEHALF OF THE RESIDENTS IN THIS BUILDING WHO HAVE MORE THAN A GRADE EIGHT EDUCATION, IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU ACTUALLY TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OVER YOUR CHOICES AND DISPOSE OF YOUR PURCHASES? IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU BOUGHT SUCH AND UGLY COUCH, BUT EVEN WORSE THAT YOU MAKE OTHER PEOPLE STARE AT IT. THE FACT THAT YOU LEFT IT HERE MEANS ONE OF TWO THINGS. YOU EITHER HAVE THE MENTALITY OF A FIVE YEAR OLD OR YOUR RICH PARENTS BABIED YOU INTO THINKING THIS WAS ACCEPTABLE BEHAIVIOUR. EITHER WAY, IT'S THE SAME THING. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. YOU'RE THE REASON EVOLUTION TAKES SO LONG.

related: Who says Canadians are nice?

extra credit: Humans are still evolving, scientists say

Tags: CAPS LOCK · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · Toronto

Deck you, neighbor.

September 6th, 2012 · 218 Comments

Travis in Minnesota says this note was dropped in his mailbox by some anonymous neighbor who had apparently been fixated on watching him build his backyard deck.

“I was surprised that anyone noticed, let alone went through the trouble to write a full-page complaint,” Travis says. “However, he’s right in that, as one person working on the occasional free night and on weekends, it did take me a full year to complete the project.”

Hello sir, we've been watching you.  We've seen how hard you worked, how long and tirelessly you worked to construct a deck for your family. Let us be the first to give you a back handed compliment by saying

Adds Travis: “I think the strangest part of the note is the challenge to my masculinity. I’m glad that someone finally told me that it’s more manly to pay for someone to do a job for you than to do it yourself. Here I was, all this time, thinking it was just the opposite. Boy, is my face red!”

P.S. If you’re curious, here’s a photo of the deck. I think it’s quite nice.

The deck in question

related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper

Tags: crazypants · just an asshole · just kidding! · Minnesota · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · nonsensical spacing · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · WTF? · your/you're

Which response is classier?

August 27th, 2012 · 48 Comments

These two different approaches to the same problem were submitted within minutes of each other.

Exhibit a) From Hipsterville, Brooklyn, Like a Sir, as spotted by Kaitlin:

To whomever is stealing our NY Times each morning, this is your first, last and only warning: stop it! We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us.

Exhibit b) From Niceville, Minnesota, Killing you with Kindness, as spotted by Bitsy:

Good Morning! I don't mind if you take my newspaper to read — I know you are trying to stay current with the local news — 

related: All the news that’s fit to steal

Tags: Brooklyn · Minnesota · neighbors · newspaper · stealing

The not-so-laid-back part of Portland

July 30th, 2012 · 69 Comments

“I don’t know the back story here,” says Katie in Portland, Oregon, “but it seems like a better solution would have been to just, I don’t know, not park illegally?”

Dear Neighbor, Please extend the courtesy of ringing my doorbell and speaking to me before calling Parking Enforcement again. Thank you, Terri

related: How NOT to get out of a parking ticket

Tags: neighbors · parking · Portland · the po-po