Entries Tagged as 'neighbors'

Gee, thanks for the advice.

February 20th, 2013 · 66 Comments

Steve in Los Angeles says his dog has been having some separation anxiety, typically crying for about 30 minutes to an hour after Steve leaves for work. He recently found this oh-so-helpful advice taped to his front door. (His response: “WTF?!”)

Hello, I'm not sure if you're aware but your dog barks almost non stop when you're gone. He seems very unhappy. I had a similar problem but finally worked it out. Good luck.

Steve, just to put things in perspective, you might want to take a look at the Chicago approach:

To the inconsiderate asshole on the third floor who's dog won't shut the fuck up. If you don't start closing your window, the dog is gonna take a bullet. You've been warned.

related: My bite is work than your bark

Tags: "helpful" advice · Chicago · dogs · Los Angeles · neighbors · noise · warning

There comes a time when enough is enough

February 15th, 2013 · 127 Comments

For a while now, our submitter in Australia says his neighbors — a couple in their mid-40s — have been complaining about his family’s “excessive noise.” It started, he says, with complaints about the sounds generated by their pool filter and their dryer.

“We accommodated by turning the filter off at night and reducing usage of the dryer,” he says, “but it escalated to them complaining about us talking inside our house with all the windows closed and the air conditioner running (during the day, mind you). Then they began coming over, literally banging on our door, complaining that the kids were being too loud while playing outside.”

David says the neighbors also started calling to complain to the real estate company from whom his family rents the house. The company’s response, below, made for a satisfying conclusion to the whole affair.

Dear Madam, RE: HARRASSMENT [sic] OF TENANTS IN [redacted]: Further to your calls to our office to complain that the tenants of the property next door to you have been making noise, please not the following: 1) Children are allowed to play, laugh, scream, etc. during the day in their own backyard. 2) Occupants of any house are allowed to run their air conditioner whenever they see fit. 3) Noise is allowed on any property between the hours of 7am and 7pm. Should you feel the noise from the air conditioner is excessive you have the right to lodge a written complaint with the Health Dept. at the local council office so that they can come out to check the decibel level. If you continue to approach the neighbours in an annoying manner they may be forced to seek legal advice regarding harassment issues. We all have to learn to get along together and the tenants next door have tried to accommodate you, within reason, but there comes a time when enough is enough. Please do not contact us again about this issue until you have had a Council officer attend to check the noise levels. Yours sincerely, [redacted]

related: Will you please turn down the sound of your frogs?

Tags: Australia · landlords and property managers · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · noise · oh snap

You’re a wiseass, Harry.

February 12th, 2013 · 69 Comments

It turns out Harry Potter had more than a little in common with his jerk of a father. (And yes, James Potter was a jerk — Yahoo! Answers says so!)

Dear Hagrid, I understand you're half giant, but could you try to be a little more light footed? P.S. If you're not Hagrid, stop fucking stomping around, it's pissing me off. Sincerely, Harry Potter, apartment under the stairs

Meanwhile, on Diagon Alley…

Notice from The Green Witch Re discount...Please do not embarrass my staff by asking for discount. If the prices could be lower, they would be. Therapists who shop regularly and consistently at the shop may receive a discount on their products that are relevant to their business but not on any other goods. Any discount given is purely at the discretion of myself and is a priveledge [sic], not a right. Demanding discount simply angers both me and Maggie — after all, do you ask Tesco for discount because you shop there every week...I think not. Thank you, The Green Witch

related: Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

extra credit: How P-A Harry Potter fans deal with junk mail

extra extra credit: We Are Wizards [hulu.com]

Tags: neighbors · noise · p.s.

A Warning Chime

February 6th, 2013 · 118 Comments

Adriana in Playa Del Rey, California said her husband found this note from a non-wind chime enthusiast taped to their outside of their condo building. “I personally love all the exclamation points,” Adriana says — “especially the cheery ‘thanks!’ at the bottom.”

CHIMES. Third Floor Front Over the Garage. People have lived here 10-20 years but now have to hear your chimes all day and night! Take them down or we will get a class action lawsuit against you and the Homeowners association! We can't stand it anymore! Have consideration or we will see you in court and get a court order! Thanks!

related: Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats

Point (not) Taken

January 21st, 2013 · 49 Comments

David in Nottingham, England says that one of his neighbors has been continually leaving bags of junk in the building’s common area, despite the fact that the communal waste bin is located just a few feet away on the other side of the door.

David says the first (un-photographed) notice said something along the lines of, “Come on man, we’re not animals.” The management company then wrote a letter to all tenants — again, to no avail. Apparently, the only recourse left was to get Liam Neeson on the phone.

I don't know who you are or why you keep leaving bags of crap here, but if you don't stop doing it I will find you, and I will kill you.

Meanwhile, in Allentown, Pennsylvania:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my package go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will hit you, REALLY hard.

related: Dear Whoever Stole My Amazon Package

Tags: garbage · most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · Nottingham · shameless meme-mongering · U.K.

No Killer Littering

January 7th, 2013 · 51 Comments

Bill says he’s lived in the same building in Shenzhen, China for four years, “and the place still cracks me up, daily.” The latest from his building’s noticeboard:

Dear owners (inhabitants): The management office received some complaints from lower inhabitants recently, they said that things often fall from upstairs, like cigarette end, napkin, even turtle, there are serious security risks, once the damage cause, the perpetrator must take legal responsibility. In order to create a good and safety living environment for you and others, we propose: Keep good habits, and recommend the family members (especially children):

related: Beware of falling hairballs

Tags: China · Clearly a non-native English speaker · landlords and property managers · neighbors

Enjoy the holidays (without me)

December 27th, 2012 · 29 Comments

While at his parents’ house in Indiana for Christmas, Jay says his mother passed this card around to everyone, saying, “Can you believe this?!” The awkward part: Terry (not that Terry) is their next-door neighbor.

Sorry we have lost touch- I guess I have to accept you not wanting to be friends anyomore. Enjoy the holidays-  Janet and Lee, Wishing you jolly holidays and a great new year! Have a wonderful season and all the best in the New Year.  -Terry

related: Happy Holidays! So glad we’re not together!

 

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · Indiana · neighbors

The Griswold Family Fine Print

December 17th, 2012 · 70 Comments

While admiring the neighborhood’s holiday decorations with his family, our submitter in Denver came across this “bokeh of Christmas joy.”

Dr. Griswold & Mr. Grinch

Noticing a folder of photocopied flyers labeled “please take one,” our submitter did so, and while his daughter stared in awe at the abundance of LED-powered holiday cheer, he gawped at the Grinch-like screed that accompanied it.

PLEASE STAY OFF MY DAMN FENCE. I am Tired of people breaking it and not having the decency to come and tell me, and maybe pay for it. Instead they sneak off like damn thief(s) in the nite. I put up decorations so you can enjoy them, not destroy my property. I realize 98% of the people are good and just enjoy the decorations. The other 2% are obviously a__h___s. Stay away, no one is making you come. You damn well weren't invited, so stay the hell home!! Or have manners!

related: Merry Christmas…with an emphasis on the “meh”

extra credit: How much does it cost to decorate your house with Christmas lights? [boingboing.net]

Tags: Christmas · Denver · holiday spirit · neighbors · pointlessly self-censored profanity · vandalism

Prepare your hi-diddly-hole, neighborino

November 21st, 2012 · 102 Comments

Ben in California says he got this notice in the mail a few days ago, though he’s not sure if the rest of the neighborhood got it, too. “These folks have lived there for about six months, but I’ve never talked to them. I guess now I know why.”

We just moved into 412 E. H St. and would like to straighten some things out. 1. We don't need any new friends, we have enough. Don't try to stop by for small talk! 2. Don't park in front of our property! 3. Keep your pets quiet and we will get along.

related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t interested in small talk

Tags: neighbors · parking · small talk · way harsh

Peed off.

November 1st, 2012 · 79 Comments

Writes Jenny in San Diego: “There are four of these identical laminated signs posted at face height around the tiny front lawn of a house in my neighborhood. The lawn actually would look fine if it weren’t for the rude signs.”

Keep your bitches from urinating on the lawn. They are killing the grass.

related post:
Caught in the act
DO YOU KNOW THESE DOGS??

Tags: dogs · neighbors · piss · San Diego