Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen
Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?
Our anonymous submitter in Toronto spotted this note — one copy in the elevator, and three copies taped to a couch that had been left near the dumpster in the building’s parking lot.
Dear Sir: Your “behaiviour,” spelling, and poor understanding of evolutionary theory don’t suggest that you graduated at the top of your class, either.
related: Who says Canadians are nice?
extra credit: Humans are still evolving, scientists say
Travis in Minnesota says this note was dropped in his mailbox by some anonymous neighbor who had apparently been fixated on watching him build his backyard deck.
“I was surprised that anyone noticed, let alone went through the trouble to write a full-page complaint,” Travis says. “However, he’s right in that, as one person working on the occasional free night and on weekends, it did take me a full year to complete the project.”
Adds Travis: “I think the strangest part of the note is the challenge to my masculinity. I’m glad that someone finally told me that it’s more manly to pay for someone to do a job for you than to do it yourself. Here I was, all this time, thinking it was just the opposite. Boy, is my face red!”
P.S. If you’re curious, here’s a photo of the deck. I think it’s quite nice.
related: (Don’t Fear) The Creeper
Tags: crazypants · just an asshole · just kidding! · Minnesota · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · nonsensical spacing · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · WTF? · your/you're
These two different approaches to the same problem were submitted within minutes of each other.
Exhibit a) From Hipsterville, Brooklyn, Like a Sir, as spotted by Kaitlin:
Exhibit b) From Niceville, Minnesota, Killing you with Kindness, as spotted by Bitsy:
related: All the news that’s fit to steal
“I don’t know the back story here,” says Katie in Portland, Oregon, “but it seems like a better solution would have been to just, I don’t know, not park illegally?”
Megan in Atlanta found this note on her front door one day after returning home from work. Explains Megan: “My front rooms are living and dining, not bedrooms. I had put one of my front blinds up because the cat was getting to it and they’re expensive cellular shades.” Her “high road” response? Raising all the blinds in the house. (Adds Megan: “Enjoy the view, busybody!”)
Meanwhile, Tim and his wife Rebecca spotted this smiley-faced bit of sarcasm on a street near their home in Colorado Springs. Adds Tim: “The neighborhood isn’t even very nice, so an ugly fence is hardly the worst thing around.”
related: The Future HOA Presidents of America
Nicola in Edinburgh woke up and opened the shades one morning to discover this message from the flat directly across the street. “After all my flatmates were questioned about what they have been up to last night, we decided it must be the flat next to ours,” she says.
related: The Devil’s Orchestra
Ashley in Sheffield received this lovely belated birthday card from a neighbo(u)r.
(Nicely done, Laura.)
Kelli in North Dakota says one of her neighbors plastered the entire building with these notes, directed to a certain wannabe baseball player/bull rider/oral cancer patient.
(Some not-so-fun facts: At 15.3%, North Dakota has the second-highest rate in the country of tobacco-chewing high schoolers. Among North Dakotan adult males, about 1 in 10 chews.)
Meanwhile, here in Texas, submitter Katie is unsure whether her neighbors’ cars are being pelted with the likes of Copenhagen or queso. (In Texas, it really could go either way.)
related: My garbage can is not your spit cup.
Writes our submitter in Colorado: “Last year, a frog moved in to our small backyard pond. Although the sound was soothing and peaceful at first, this year it sounds like he’s quadrupled in size, his croaking now loud and obnoxious. We’ve tried to find the frog in the rocks to move him, with no luck. The kicker? “Apparently, one of our genius neighbors thinks we’re intentionally causing the ruckus with some kind of backyard Frog Noise Machine.”
related: The sound of two hands clapping