Writes Carolyn in Brooklyn: “My youngest daughter, Annisa, clearly had a problem with her recalcitrant tooth fairy. This is a series of letters, including an envelope, that I saved from her early years. I have no doubt that her finely tuned negotiating skills were developed as a result.” The best part? Annisa, who just turned 31 on Saturday, is now — no joke — a Director of Human Resources.”

(I really didn’t think this tooth-fairy letter could be topped, but in terms of sheer precociousness — not to mention determination — I think we have a new winner.)

related: Look, Tooth Fairy, here’s the deal.

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

At least three New Yorkers have independently spotted and submitted this sign in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, so I figured it’s time to give it a proper showing. (Submitter Adam took several photos from a variety of angles, so you can a picture of the whole scene.)

Amanda also provided some color commentary. “The ‘plants’ in question are the small jungle encroaching from the right of the photo,” she says. “Honestly, without the sign, the property would have just looked abandoned. Now it looks more like the home of a crotchety hermit.”

And our anonymous submitter, who happens to live less than a block away from these two houses, even did a little extra detective work. “I’ve tried and tried to find out the back story,” he says, “but so far all I have been able to find out is that the feuding neighbors are also brother and sister.”

I think that pretty much explains it, no?

related: Another example of Brooklyn’s seemingly unparalleled commitment to exasperated signage

Both Lauren and Maureen took note of this sign outside a fish warehouse in an industrial area of Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

“I found the combination of ‘Balls’ (capitalized!) and ‘Courtesy’ a hilarious mix of politeness and vulgarity,” Maureen says. “I also thought it was funny that they are offended not only by the neighbors’ complaints but by the fact that people don’t complain to them about the smell.”

related: Eau dear

Okay, I’m totally calling bullshit on this note (spotted by Seth in the lobby of his Brooklyn apartment building).

If one of your neighbors knocked on your door and said, “Hey, so, I’ve been really needing a doormat….can I have yours?” —  would your response really be, “Well, since you asked…here you go!!”

Shame on you for being a bold-typefaced liar, notewriter!

related: Wrath mat

When someone starts hiding the formerly communal toilet paper, that’s typically the beginning of the end.

Exhibit a) From Liz in Brooklyn, New York: “My old roommate was a huge pain for a lot of reasons, but what really did it for me was when she would finish the roll of toilet paper and then hide the new roll in her room so only she could use it.” Before moving out, Liz left her roomie with this parting gift.

Exhibit b) From BK in Kansas City, Missouri: “My roommate wanted us to buy separate toilet paper because he thought I used a lot, which seemed kind of ridiculous to me. Then, when he ran out of toilet paper he would use mine. I took my toilet paper out of the bathroom so he couldn’t use it anymore. Then he wrote me a passive aggressive note saying I was passive-aggressive.”

Exhibit c) From LJ at Mississipi State University: “I have no idea why my roommate felt the need to hide the toilet paper  — it wasn’t like I was using it *excessively* or anything. A few days after this happened, we had to have a meeting mediated by the Residence Director, because they were pretty sure we were going to kill each other.”

related: I’m not here to wipe your dirty butt.

Five approaches to toilet paper maintenance