This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

Bradley in New York woke up yesterday to find this little love note from his girlfriend. (His explanation? “She’s a light sleeper.”) I feel her pain. If there’s a sound more irritating than a Nokia ring tone, the pathetic “I’m dying” whine of an out-of-juice cell phone just might be it.

Meanwhile, Chris’s friend Michelle doesn’t appreciate having her beauty rest disturbed, either…

Lanqui spotted this note on a moped that was locked to a street sign in Greenwich Village. That bit of orange there? Yup, that would be a ticket.

Chris has held on to this note from his college days at SUNY Binghamton since 1990, which I believe makes this the oldest note to grace this site thus far.

The years seem to have given him some perspective on the situation, and Chris fully admits to being the apartment’s “thermostat tyrant,” always nagging everyone to turn down the heat at night (to 55 degrees) and especially over holidays and long weekends. But this note from his roommate was apparently enough to show him the error of his ways.

After this, Chris says, “I did relax with the thermostat nagging, I think.” (The hamster was unavailable for comment.)

related: We ALL live here

Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”

Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”

related: Really, enough with the weather

All I can say is…wow.

(click to enlarge!)

Explains Sarah in New York City: “One lab in the building where I work has covered the walls outside their lab with candid photos of the lab members. Over time, some of these photos got some ‘modifications’ from passers-by, such as a mustache or horns here or there.  (Mature, I know.) Today, I noticed the photos were gone.” In their place…

UPDATE: Sarah provides a look at the note in context. (Unfortunately, without the original “artwork.”)

Mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in Long Island City, Queens last spring.

Anthony left a note on the door…

Saving his pennies for someday…

You oughta know by now

Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack

And it seems such a waste of time

You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind

But she’s not movin’ out.